It has finally arrived. I get to tell him that I've been having bouts of depression and that I have to spike my AD to get out of it to only fall back into it a little later.

I might even tell him I almost threw all my meds away and quit coming to see him, thinking that that's going to fix me.

Should I tell him that or keep it amongst ourselves?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi AlwaysChanging2,

For me, personally, I always use the 100% honesty approach with my pdoc.

Only because if they don't know "certain parts" they may not get the overall picture.

Oh yes, I can completely understand your slight hesitance, but disclosure is always best, and I think what you have been thinking re meds is something that is so common and we've all had these thoughts.

Please take care.

[jacky8807]

I say go with honesty. ..he may have helpful advice for you
Good luck

[Skywalking]

Yeah, tell him, I know it's horrid and I hate it with all of my being. But maybe he can help you with the dosages so you won't have to mess around with your meds.

[themuna]

Tellling him everything is the only way that he can do his job. Otherwise, you would just be picking and choosing among the info to get your own desired result.

Being honest is generally the best way to get what you want from him.

Okay. I will. I'm sitting here in the parking lot about to go in and see him. It's hard to lay it all out there, especially since he already proved how close minded he is. He's just a med dispenser. I'll try.

I hate it! My pdoc is a prick! He's so fired. I told him how I felt and he was like "you wanna end up back in the hospital? Duh?" He didn't change any of my meds and said see Ya in 2 months. I feel so insulted. Like I want to end up back in the hospital. The reason I ended up in the hospital in the first place wasn't because of bipolar. It was from reliving a childhood trauma that ended in me cutting myself and flipping out because of other issues I'm dealing with.

I knew better. Incidents like this makes it so much harder the next time. I can't trust anyone with my feelings other than complete strangers.

[Skywalking]

I'm sorry that it sucked so bad and that he didn't listen. I HATED my psychiatrist for over a year and I still feel fearful and anxious when I have to see him. Maybe it's time to find a new doc - or maybe better, find a therapist first and then a psych, so you'll have some support in the interim?

I'm not sure what I can do. I owe so much from being committed. I will be looking, but I'm waiting till I run out of refills before I can really do something. I'm sure I have to suck it up and keep seeing this guy till I can do something different. Such is life.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Alwayschanging, surely you don't call the people who know your innermost thoughts, read your rants, laugh at your wit and still love you -- "complete" strangers. That's pretty strong. I don't know about everyone else, but, maybe I'm strange, but not completely :-). Sorry to hear your appointment didn't give you the desired results. Sometimes people don't realize how sensitive a subject can be. Keep posting, we care.

Originally Posted by UpDownMiddleGround

Alwayschanging, surely you don't call the people who know your innermost thoughts, read your rants, laugh at your wit and still love you -- "complete" strangers. That's pretty strong. I don't know about everyone else, but, maybe I'm strange, but not completely :-). Sorry to hear your appointment didn't give you the desired results. Sometimes people don't realize how sensitive a subject can be. Keep posting, we care.

Thank you, but my best friends are on here, not in my face. Why can I feel so alone in real life but meet others in nations so far away that get it? Thank you all. Luv.