[emgreen]

I never post asking for help on these threads, but I'm tired of feeling anxious & depressed. I find myself making plans for my estate after I'm gone. Today I changed the beneficiary of my retirement account from my family to my girlfriend because she needs the money more. I'm now shopping for an estate lawyer to take care of my other assets. I've never been this focused or patient before...despite the grinding going on in my mind. I just needed to vent.

[Wander]

I am sorry you are feeling so down. When do you see your pdoc and/or T next. It sounds like you need some support right now. Please take care and take yourself to emergency if you think you are going to hurt yourself. Your life matters to us and i am sure it matters to your girlfriend. Take care.

[Crazy Hitch]

((((emgreen)))

I am really glad that you have posted.

I know what you mean with regards to asking for help on the threads.

I tend to respond more as opposed to ask more.

But please know we are here to read your posts and support you every step of the way.

It doesn't matter if you're posting just to let us know you're stable / up / down etc all posts are appreciated.

But yes I tend to post more when I am quite distressed or manic, this is just me personally.

The constant feeling of anxiousness and depression is really hard. I've been there. But you can work through this (sometimes when I'm depressed I get cranky, this is me personally - I really don't like the anxiety that comes with my depression).

Yet alone the fact that you are going through a chemical imbalance; I mean you're running around making plans for your estate, changing beneficieries etc.

I mean like I just really wanted to say kudos to you em.

You are stronger than you realise em.

When I'm depressed I can barely even just shower em yet alone be doing all these amazing things that you do, although it does feel overwhealming right now.

I hope you manage to find a breather.

"Take a step away from it all" or so to speak.

Do something for YOU that you may enjoy doing.

Each day.

Something simple.

Doesn't have to be elaborate.

But make the time for you.

Anything really.

Reading a book, listening to music, long bath etc.

But please do take care of yourself em.