[Elles0]

I've been with my fiancé for three years. I often feel like he thinks I'm just making excuses and I don't know how to explain what really is out of my control. He doesn't seem interested in reading about Bipolar Disorder (again, because this could mean I just want a free pass to act as I wish).

It's worth saying that something I love about him is that he treats me like a "normal" person- meaning, gives me validation and doesn't write me off as "crazy" like many of my family members did (which in itself can be crazy-making). Still, I don't know how to communicate the importance of this or how it could make a difference.

[Hexagram]

Will he watch a video? Courtesy Gareth:

[Crazy Hitch]

(((Elles0)))

Oh yes I do understand what you mean.

"Making excuses".

"Free pass to act as we wish".

Ughghghghghghg.

These are ignorant statements.

I detest ignorant statements when they are made to me.

Eh I know plenty of people IRL too that mean well but honestly don't educate themselves.

I wrote this on a members post a few weeks ago.

Not sure if it's in context here.

But here goes.

A LETTER EVERY BIPOLAR PERSON SHOULD WRITE TO THEIR PARTNER:

Dear Partner,

I am glad that we are together in this relationship. I want to try and make this work.

I want you to know what to expect in this relationship so that we are both on the same page.

Well we are all so different as Bipolar people.

No one Bipolar person looks like the other.

We can present in different ways.

So yes there are certain diagnostic criteria that we do meet in order for the diagnosis of Bipolar to occur.

I know that you love me, please accept me for who I am. I am still human.

I want you to know that Bipolar people do go through episodes indeed, and we do not get to pick and choose the duration nor the frequency of our episodes, these are just inherent upon us, but please believe that I will do everything in my power to mitigate symptoms when I am aware that they are happening.

These episodes are a little bit like boomerangs.

I can assure you that I will do my best to keep these episodes at bay.

I am trying my best here partner to make you understand what this is like for me.

All said and done it does not necessarily mean that I will be "episode" free; again, this is like a boomerang. I do not know when my next episode will occur, but it will. It could be stress, or it could just be nothing other than an episode. But I do know these warning signs of this episode.

Well I guess in order to make a relationship work, any relationship really, this requires committment and hard work.

From both parties.

I am trying my best here.

I have laid all cards on the table for you because I love you.

I will not ue my diagnosis as an excuse to attack you verbally or emotionally. I have choices. I will choose my words and my actions wisely.

I will put awareness measures in place so that if I am going through an episode I will not project the anger directly onto you. I do not want you to think that I am angry with you.

In my darkest hours I want you to know that YOU are the reason that I keep living and breathing.

During my happiest of days you are my sunshine and my reason for living.

I will love you irrespective of whether I am manic, stable or depressed. I will continue to love you even though I know that I may confuse you at times. This can be quite confusing for me too but I will acknowledge your feelings and you as an equally important person.

I will work closely with my treating mental health team in order to keep my symtoms under control. I will communicate with you when I feel the start of a mood swing occuring in order to give you a heads up. Not that I am asking you to fix me partner. You can not fix me. I am working on this. Please bare with me for moments when I may laugh for no apparant reason. I don't mean to alarm you when I do this. Nor do I mean to alarm you when I feel depressed and there are days I don't feel like getting out of bed. It doesn't mean I love you any more or any less during these episodes even though you may question my love for you.

And I have already shown you from my side what I am prepared to do to make this relationship work.

So here's my advice for you my loving partner.

I would like for YOU to now please think about what YOU are going to do, to meet me half way to make this relationship work.

So here's my advice on what you can do.

1. Support me when I goes through episodes. You do this because you love me. Because I am human. Because I am still the same person who is human [who, footnote, has an MI].

2. Educate yourself. About symptoms. I recognise my early warning signs. Can you meet me half way and recognise the warning signs too? This will help me tremendously. This will work effectively like synergy's iconic metaphor (you know the power of 1+1=3). This will be an extremely powerful tool that you can use in this relationship.

3. If I am hospitalised, please support me. Would you be prepared to visit me every day in hospital just to let me know that you still love me because I am human [who, footnote, has an MI].

4. Please educate yourself more about the myths that society holds about Bipolar. This is great. Education is a powerful tool. The more you know what is the truth and what is a myth, the better equipped you are into making this relationship work.

5. Please forgive me if I do have some days that are a little bit "off key". This can often be mistaken for being a mood episode. It's not really. Bipolar people are human and do sometimes experience feelings, just as you do. It is important that you and I are honest with each other at all times about our feelings too. You are very important to me in this relationship.

I think this relationship has fantastic potential.

You have found such an amazing person and you are both in love with each other.

My advice?

This will be my motto moving forward in this relationship with you my partner, I will continue to ask myself this:

"ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country"

There's no other way this will work really.

Best wishes to you and I moving forward in this relationship.

I love you now and I will for the rest of my life. Please continue to love me in sickness and in health.

[~Christina]

If you have a therapist have him come along for one of your appointments.

My Husband couldn't wrap his head around " my Bipolar" no amount of "reading helped." . Richard gave him a crash course in Bipolar 101 and how it can and can not effect me in situations.. Literally 15 mins and the light bulb indeed flashed above my husbands head..

My husband is a "fixer" most men are,, But he can't "fix me" he has learned to be supportive in ways that help me the most. But he also learned that he has to take care of his own mental health and well being( he has no MI)

I also try to keep Bipolar out of my day to day life with him. When I'm not well, Sure then its taking up more space, but I have BP friends to talk to , they are going to "get it" . I have overwhelmed my husband in the past with my Bipolar. So I found PC and friends

He still can not understand how my mood can go bad and send me to the stars in just a handful of hours or days with most often no "trigger" ...

Welcome to PC