[Standup2me]

My boss does not know that I am BP. My P.doc wants me to go on seven weeks leave. I don’t want to because then I would have to explain to my boss why. He cannot know. I work in the oil-patch, this would be a nightmare (crazy, head-case, nut-job, overall hurtful remarks)

How have you handled this?

To be honest, I simply just told my boss. My boss is the only person in my workplace that knows I have MI and she is very supportive and as long as I have documentation from a doctor she really doesnt give me any grief.

[benzenering]

I didn't...it was none of her business

[boogiesmash]

My job has an employee assistance program, where you can tell them any illness, stress, problems you maybe having. A co-worker of mine abuses drugs and alcohol, he went to them for help and they granted him sick leave for 3 months while he attended a rehab facility. Our boss or other co workers were not privied to the information regarding his illness (although he told me). All they knew was that he was out on medical.
Check your human resources see if they have any assistance programs like that.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My job has an employee assistance program, where you can tell them any illness, stress, problems you maybe having. A co-worker of mine abuses drugs and alcohol, he went to them for help and they granted him sick leave for 3 months while he attended a rehab facility. Our boss or other co workers were not privied to the information regarding his illness (although he told me). All they knew was that he was out on medical.
Check your human resources see if they have any assistance programs like that.

that was what I was under,,, a month off and no one was told anything...employee assistance program EAP,,good stuff if you have access to it.....

[rollacoasta]

If you really don't want your boss to know then I guess you can tell a white lie and make up a reason for the 7 week absence?

If it was me, not being able to tell my boss would slowly cause me more anxiety.

Im inpatient at the moment and many of the people in here do not disclose to their workplace the reason for their absence. Some of the "excuses" I have heard that have been accepted by workplaces are -

- Health retreat
- Ill family member that needs a few weeks care
- Own improvement programs/courses
- Training/study
- Travelling

If I think of anymore I will be back, but I know that these reasons have been accepted by fellow patients workplaces without having to disclose mental illness.

[Hexagram]

Your employer's human resources department should notify your boss of an impending medical leave if you're not comfortable telling him yourself. I took a number of long medical leaves while working in corporate software in Silicon Valley, and I never had to explain anything to anyone, just brought notes from my pdoc to HR. There must be corporate respect for medical privacy even in the oil patch.

[BipolaRNurse]

It's none of your boss's business why you need the time off. If you feel the need to make an excuse (and most of us do), tell him either it's a medical issue, or it's a family issue e.g. someone is ill and they need help for a few weeks.

I have unfortunately had bad experiences with disclosing my diagnosis to my superiors, thus I can't recommend it to anyone else. Good luck, and get better.

[Standup2me]

Thanks so much everyone.
I had never thought about going to HR and getting them to help me explain why I have to take a leave

Nurse - I agree, I just don't want to tell my boss. I don't trust him

[Resident Bipolar]

I have had two employers since my Bipolar diagnosis, and I told both of them. The first position was at a pharmacy and the boss there was just so lovely and sweet about it all; I'd told him during the interview and still got the job, despite my lack of formal qualifications. He did know my granddad though and was therefore very sympathetic when I burst out crying at work during my first birthday without him.

At the first job, when I required days off due to mental health, I just went ahead and told him. He even decided to give me PAID leave for a number of weeks. Eventually I left the role, due to my unstable state but also because I did feel guilty taking so much time off when he needed me there working. I regret that decision immensely - it was a good job. However, I suppose my health comes first but I digress.

Now. At my second job, I didn't tell them during my interview and didn't admit it until after a month or so in the role - I was struggling and decided to come out with it. Unfortunately, they weren't as understanding. Don't get me wrong; my assistant manager was very understanding and sympathetic, the only issue is that they didn't make reasonable adjustments for my disability which is actually a legal requirement under the UK Equality Act 2010.

I've since learned that absolutely nothing stays confidential in that place and the upper management are extremely judgemental. They have a few levels of management in the store, the hierarchy was as follows: Sales Assistant, Sales Co-Ordinator/Supervisor, Assistant Manager, Manager. Now, the Assistant Manager has been fairly understanding. It's the manager and the Co-ordinators that have not treated me well or fairly since confessing my illness.

Due to those facts, when I can't handle the day, I just call in sick for any reason - sick bug, diarrhoea, whatever. Even saying I have diarrhoea is less embarrassing and awkward for me!

So to summarise, you don't have to disclose your illness. You are not obliged to in any way, and the law protects your right to keep your condition private. Therefore I advise using other reasons.

Originally Posted by Standup2me

My boss does not know that I am BP. My P.doc wants me to go on seven weeks leave. I don’t want to because then I would have to explain to my boss why. He cannot know. I work in the oil-patch, this would be a nightmare (crazy, head-case, nut-job, overall hurtful remarks)

How have you handled this?

I also work in the oil industry and am dealing with anxiety/depression and possibly bipolar. I didn't want to talk to my boss about it, but he had noticed a behavioral change and asked if I was doing ok (out of honest concern). I talked to a friend who convinced me that I should be truthful with my boss. I was. He moved me to a more suitable project on my request and has allowed me FMLA leave. I work 6-hour days right now instead of 8. I have the option to take time off if I need it, even if that means I'm not at work for days/weeks. A good company will understand their employee needs. Companies cannot discriminate against one's health as a reason to terminate them. I think you should be honest. If your boss doesn't understand, then they are missing the bigger picture: Mental illness is an illness, just like cancer or anything else. It's serious - yes there are unfortunately stigmas - but you deserve to have the treatment you need and your workplace will hopefully understand.

[Gray Rider]

I am doing the same thing, now I don't want to go back.