[MyUsername1111111]

Hi,

I read a study recently (wish i could find the link) which analyzed BP patients who had strictly either irritable or euphoric manias.

The results were, Those with irritable manias were more likely to have shorter episodes, and more likely to have co-morbid personality disorders.

This is true for me, so it resonated.

Can you guys relate as well, or was the study full of ****?

I know it shouldn't be so black and white.. but i am curious.

[raspberrytorte]

What's a co-morbid personality disorder?

I'm not sure if I'm the irritable or euphoric type. Can you be both? They usually don't last long though. They're usually just sucky.

[Wander]

Well I get very intense mixed episodes where the mania manifests as an extremely irritable, agitated state, along with other signs of mania like racing thoughts and grandiose thinking. My episodes tend to run for periods of weeks up to a couple of months.In the past I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but it seems to have disappeared after years of therapy. I also have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That sounds like an interesting study. Let us know if you find it.

[MyUsername1111111]

Ah, found it: Clinical characteristics and temperament influences on 'happy' euphoric and 'snappy' irritable bipolar hypo/manic mood states. - PubMed - NCBI

Rasp - They stated it as "personality dysfunctions", but a co-morbid disorder just means multiple disorders i think. And yeah you can be both which is why BP is such a hard thing to study and treat, the study just said which one dominates the episode

Wander - I can see how BPD would add to irritability. I think manias tend to pronounce already present personality traits. Personally I zoom down the sidewalk not really noticing anyone i pass by unless i am checking them out but even so, i will check out a lady intensely and then look away as if she was never there

Also it does say that the short manias tend to be more intense as well so it seems to hold true for you as well

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by MyUsername1111111

Ah, found it: Clinical characteristics and temperament influences on 'happy' euphoric and 'snappy' irritable bipolar hypo/manic mood states. - PubMed - NCBI

Rasp - They stated it as "personality dysfunctions", but a co-morbid disorder just means multiple disorders i think. And yeah you can be both which is why BP is such a hard thing to study and treat, the study just said which one dominates the episode

Wander - I can see how BPD would add to irritability. I think manias tend to pronounce already present personality traits. Personally I zoom down the sidewalk not really noticing anyone i pass by unless i am checking them out but even so, i will check out a lady intensely and then look away as if she was never there

Also it does say that the short manias tend to be more intense as well so it seems to hold true for you as well

Oh. That's really interesting. The last episode I had was really intense. Week and a half and I was committed involuntarily. I think for me it's my anxiety. I was SO anxious and paranoid and some of my hallucinations were scary, like seeing shapes watching me in the darkness, and actually feeling something cold resting on my back, like an evil entity. It was just terrifying. And at the end it was like my racing thoughts were screaming in my head and I couldn't concentrate on anything, reading, even watching movies. Shudder. Never want that to happen again.

So, I think mine was very strongly influenced by my severe anxiety issues.

Not BPD though. I don't have that. Positive of it.

Thanks for sharing the article.

[MyUsername1111111]

It does say that co-morbid anxiety disorders are also more common in such types of mania.

Mine also tend to last a week and a half and are fairly intense and abrupt, with the one i am in now being the exception. It has been almost two weeks and pretty constant, moderately "high" with some unexpected jolts here and there which are still occurring into close to week two

I am cramming the caffeine and not taking my meds because i don't want this to go away. I am on pretty bad terms with my family and some friends so i deserve to have this time to myself and enjoy it.

As of yesterday, though, (day 11 of the episode), I started some real bad friction with my coworkers. Hopefully they don't thrust my mood in one direction or another, but i am slowly becoming more and more irritable as my lack of sleep accumulates.

My sleep schedule is something like: no sleep, 7 hours, 2 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours, no sleep, ect. (per 24hr) for ~11 days

I pulled 4 all nighters so far, last one being last night. Slept for a 2 hour nap today, and drinking an energy drink right now

[Disorder7]

Thanks for the article. I have irritable mania frequently.

You don't want it to end? You do know you're playing with fire, right? However, since I'm in no position to judge, I'll just say be careful. Take care.

[raspberrytorte]

Random... but sometimes I wonder why people take drugs on purpose to make themselves hallucinate and ****. lol. I'd have the worst trip ever.

[raspberrytorte]

Username, I kind of agree with Disorder. Be careful!

[MyUsername1111111]

I know i play with fire. I play with fire hypomanic or not.. it is what makes life interesting. I suffer from chronic boredom, which is actually a real thing LOL

Umm.. i just had my first paranoid delusion? And this morning i had one where my ex girlfriend was somehow at my work just glaring at me with a dead stare even though she is the most empathetic person in the world?

in just 20 minutes of rest, I was having a dream that i met some guy outside my apartment. It started when i heard him spit and asked if he spat on my car, he said "we'll see". Then another member of his family came, then his son, ect. they had a dog that was trying to bite me. I started to shut all of my windows that were open (which i do not have and are never open), and when i went inside i looked through the peephole and saw him drive his truck straight into my door. As the door open i woke up saying "hey"

I am now typing this with a gun by my side

On a side note, two nights ago i was listening to Crave You techno song while dancing with a gun around my house in the dark. It made me feel in control. I think that was the beginning of paranoia.

But even so, so much more entertaining than not. My heart rate is fast and i don't not like it.

I am such a sad person.

Edit - I have only cried when extremely angery once before, and cried as a toddler when geriatrics tried to say i was cute in the grocery store, but i actually did this morning while listening to unwelll by matchbox 20 but felt great after a nap.

I am not sure if i am coming up or going down but it is actually becoming a bit less enjoyable.

I am going for a drive now and a smoke i need to get out of my place. Someone please reply even just saying you read what i wrote.

thanks

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by MyUsername1111111

I know i play with fire. I play with fire hypomanic or not.. it is what makes life interesting. I suffer from chronic boredom, which is actually a real thing LOL

Umm.. i just had my first paranoid delusion? And this morning i had one where my ex girlfriend was somehow at my work just glaring at me with a dead stare even though she is the most empathetic person in the world?

in just 20 minutes of rest, I was having a dream that i met some guy outside my apartment. It started when i heard him spit and asked if he spat on my car, he said "we'll see". Then another member of his family came, then his son, ect. they had a dog that was trying to bite me. I started to shut all of my windows that were open (which i do not have and are never open), and when i went inside i looked through the peephole and saw him drive his truck straight into my door. As the door open i woke up saying "hey"

I am now typing this with a gun by my side

On a side note, two nights ago i was listening to Crave You techno song while dancing with a gun around my house in the dark. It made me feel in control. I think that was the beginning of paranoia.

But even so, so much more entertaining than not. My heart rate is fast and i don't not like it.

I am such a sad person.

Edit - I have only cried when extremely angery once before, and cried as a toddler when geriatrics tried to say i was cute in the grocery store, but i actually did this morning while listening to unwelll by matchbox 20 but felt great after a nap.

I am not sure if i am coming up or going down but it is actually becoming a bit less enjoyable.

I am going for a drive now and a smoke i need to get out of my place. Someone please reply even just saying you read what i wrote.

thanks

You're not a sad person.

Please don't dance while holding guns anymore. Put the gun away. Hide it somewhere. Have someone else hide it somewhere. Lock it away. Throw away the key. Bury the gun in your backyard and put a potted plant over it or something.

Seriously, during my last week and a half episode (that probably would have lasted longer if my husband wouldn't have called 911 and the police) I was having trouble telling what was real and what wasn't. Actually, I didn't think anything was real. Even now when I look back on that week and a half I don't know what was actually real and what wasn't.

My experience was that my delusions and paranoia just got worse. It started out (first two days) as really nice and enjoyable, and it went downhill, starting one night when I COULD NOT sleep because my racing thoughts would not stop. It all went down hill from that night.

So... You don't want your delusions to get worse, and they could get worse.

Seroquel maybe?

Killjoy yes... but it's better than having a psychotic break and having police show up at your doorstep asking if you're going to cooperate (and having to talk to a 911 person who keeps on asking you if you're going to cooperate! Seriously annoying. I was downright hostile.). And then owing $3,000 in medical bills that you can't pay.

[MyUsername1111111]

I still can not wrap my head around not having self control though. I am a firm believer in totally trusting my instinct.. so this is making me a little uncomfortable.

I put the gun away, bought some food and am about to eat.

I can't take seroquel i have tappered down to 25mg every other day and went cold turkey 3 days ago and feel fine aside from a tad of nausea

What calms you down besides seroquel and food?

Up until the past 24 hours, I felt like my lamictal and going on long walks through the trees were very therapeutic and calming. I find that when I'm hypomanic or in a mixed state that I HAVE to be outside or I will shut down mentally and fall into that deep, dark hole and begin to question my existence. Which leads to my isolation and self loathing... which leads to no where good..

So, as soon as I feel "some type of way" or that I feel the scariest thoughts in my head looming, I force myself to go out on the trails... put a podcast on and focus on everything I can other than the rapid and dark thoughts that kidnap my mind.

[MyUsername1111111]

Cool i too have noticed being outside was nice for me. As long as there aren't too many people around. I'm glad you said that

I walk around now but i feel like i would become too paranoid (night). Today was so nice out though.. 68 degrees

[raspberrytorte]

I just took a long drive and went to the park because I wanted to go on the swings and feel like I was flying and then I laid in the grass and stared up at the stars and contemplated the existence of the universe. Found it most peaceful.

Husband not happy though. Says going to parks late at night isn't safe and I'm acting out of character and need to watch myself.

Anyway, those things made me feel nice.

[raspberrytorte]

Oh, and thanks for putting that gun away!

Before I was medicated, I would sit on my patio regardless of the weather, even bundled up if necessary with blankets, until the sunrise... I just find it so clam. My thoughts seem quieter, I you may. I was usually on an insomnia binge most those times and I knew what would be coming in the days ahead, but I would cherish that time and solace... it has always been my calm before the storm.

Now, I am way more in tune and force myself to leave... even amidst the eye of the storm. I am slowly coming around to accepting that BP is an unchanging variable in my personality and genetic makeup and I am so much more mature about coping through it now.

[bella4]

I am just recently coming down from a manic state; I was very irritable and energetic. For two weeks straight I cleaned and organized day and night; I could not make myself stop. I was hoping it was not mania, just a boost from an increase in meds, but a few days ago I started crashing bad. I feel so run down and can not get enough sleep. I will sleep 11 hrs at night and still feel drowsy all day. To me this is the worst feeling; to be up and then fall instantly so fast and hard!

[RisuNeko]

My manias are short and usually euphoric but sometimes mixed, and I have an anxiety disorder. No personality disorder. I only have rare bouts of irritability, usually during depression, or mixed episodes.