[UCMATH]

Sorry for the rant, but I need to get this out of my system, and I don't want to take it out on my younger brothers.

It was the worst interview of my life. I'm disappointed, but I might be more disappointed if I get an offer. I desperately need the money, and I'd have to accept it. I'd probably cry.

I got grilled by the owner for exactly 54 minutes. He repeatedly made it a point to say that people with a resume like mine don't normally apply for jobs like that and wanted to know why I'm different. He called me an "intellectual" in an unflattering tone at least five times and told the manager, "See, we have a genius here." Then he snorted.

When he asked about my major, I said that I was studying pure math rather than applied. I explained that pure math is entirely abstract and involves a lot of writing proofs when you're an undergrad, and he said, "So you just learn the math the rest of us learn... algebra and whatnot. That's not hard. I could do that." I mean... no, not at all.

Then he told me to do something more useful for someone like me. Someone like who? A woman? Am I analyzing what he said in too much detail?

When he asked if I do volunteer work, I said I'm going to be tutoring students in my spare time and that I work with the Gay Straight Alliance at the local high school, because bullying is an issue there and it's important to me. He looked absolutely horrified. I know that look, because I've seen it over and over. Saying I'm helping queer youth feel better about themselves was a big mistake. I may as well have worn a sign saying "Gigantically Queer."

When he asked why I'm not in school, I told him that I was traveling (I did spend a while in San Francisco, so that's technically not a lie) and that I was ill for two of years, but that I've recovered and am excited to be able to go into the workforce. After that, he started to pry for answers that could clarify what the illness was without coming out and asking about it.

He told me he only hires women for this position, because "the men do the hard work."

He didn't laugh or smile once. I don't think I've been so intimidated by someone before. He was so intense that I stuttered a lot and had difficulty maintaining eye contact.

The manager is a woman who made me feel very comfortable. I think she'd give me a chance if it were up to her, but it's not.

I feel much better now. I don't even want to write the obligatory "thank you for the interview" note. I'm just praying that my next interview won't be like this.

[wildflowerchild25]

WHAT A JERK!! He sounds like a homophobic, sexist asshole. I would never work for him! I would have probably stormed out of the interview once he belittled my studies. I hope you get another interview somewhere else! What a self important ***!

[raspberrytorte]

I agree. What a ****.

Ooh, sorry to hear that it was so bad.

The bit about "like algebra, yeah?" made me laugh.

You said:

Then he told me to do something more useful for someone like me. Someone like who?

I'd take that to mean a job that uses your major more. Employers always seem to say that.

I didn't see your previous post, so I don't know what kind of job you were interviewing for.

It's been several years since I had a bad job interview (or any job interview) but some of the annoyance goes away overnight. If it lingers, it can help sometimes to write about it - what was said, why it annoyed you.

Even a bad interview is useful, though. You learn how to respond to people like the owner you talked to today. It's good life experience.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Ooh, sorry to hear that it was so bad.

The bit about "like algebra, yeah?" made me laugh.

You said:

I'd take that to mean a job that uses your major more. Employers always seem to say that.

I probably should have been more clear. He was talking about switching to a major that's better for someone like me. He suggested social work.

It's a cashier/front desk position at a hostel. I've been taking time off from school because of my bipolar and need to earn money before I go back.

You're right about the experience I'll gain from it. I'll be better prepared for my next interview. When he asked if I could handle difficult customers, I was like... yes, absolutely! If I can handle this, I can handle anyone.

I was shocked by the algebra bit, too, and probably would have laughed if I wasn't so freaked out by him!

[Brophy]

It is unfortunate, but bosses who are bitter and mean are pretty common. Yes there are great lovely caring employers, but the opposite does also exist. If you get the job and you need the money, take it. You can develop coping techniques for dealing with bad bosses but you can't do that for being broke.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by Brophy

You can develop coping techniques for dealing with bad bosses but you can't do that for being broke.

I may need to print this out and paste it to the roof above my bed or tattoo it onto the palm of my hand.

Originally Posted by UCMATH

I probably should have been more clear. He was talking about switching to a major that's better for someone like me. He suggested social work.

Did he make the social work suggestion after you told him about the volunteer position at the high school? That would make sense.

If not, I don't know where he'd just come up with "social work". Since the guy didn't even have a clue as to what your actual major even IS, I don't see how he can say it isn't the right one for you.

Does he really hang around the hostel all the time? It would seem kind of odd if he did. And if he doesn't, that could be a fun place to work.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Did he make the social work suggestion after you told him about the volunteer position at the high school? That would make sense.

If not, I don't know where he'd just come up with "social work". Since the guy didn't even have a clue as to what your actual major even IS, I don't see how he can say it isn't the right one for you.

Does he really hang around the hostel all the time? It would seem kind of odd if he did. And if he doesn't, that could be a fun place to work.

He knows I'm a pure math major and bashed it by calling it "algebra and whatnot" and saying it isn't hard. He said I should do something more useful for someone like me, like social work, before I even mentioned the volunteer work. I was confused by it. I'm thinking he is just a... peculiar person, to put it nicely.

I don't think he is there a lot; maybe once or twice a week. It would be a part-time job (20-30 hours each week), so I might not run into him often. The manager was very nice, though, and I would love to work with her.

[Sunnyhunny00]

Ahhhh Shi*..... Just reading that got my nerves going. I'm a little 5'4 105lb woman that has gotten in fist fights with grown *** disrespectful men. I'm so damn impulsive with disrespect. It's one of my biggest issues that I just can't fix. I would have belittled him so bad then walked out laughing with my middle fingers up.

No amount of money is worth that amount of disrespect or in my case.... Possibly ending up in jail for assault.

I am the kindest, most respectful non judgemental person and I'll go through hell and back to help someone but the second I get disrespected, especially by a man, it's either gonna come to a halt or things are about to get dirty.

I've dealt with disgusting men since I was a little girl. My biggest regret is feeling small and fearful. Now as an adult I'll lose my head uncontrollably like a wild animal going after it's prey. It's like some kind of trigger that takes me from kind to blood thirsty.

I'm so extremely sorry that this happened to you and I mean that. The entire story pissed me of and made me wish I could have taken your spot because I'd have set him straight in the most classy way...just like the woman i am.

[Bipolarchic14]

You should consider the fact that a bad work environment could throw you into another episode. It did for me four years ago. I would keep looking. If you do take the job, take record, date time, description of the incident, and whomever witnesses anything inappropriate that could be seen as discrimination. If you ever needed to go to the commission on human rights, they will look for these things.

There's always panhandling and dumpster diving.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by Sunnyhunny00

]
I'm so extremely sorry that this happened to you and I mean that. The entire story pissed me of and made me wish I could have taken your spot because I'd have set him straight in the most classy way...just like the woman i am.

Ha! A year ago, I would have torn into him. However, I'm stuck in one of the most impoverished areas of California right now. The economy is terrible and not recovering at the same rate as the rest of the US. It's famous for meth and being a good place to dump bodies. I heard a soldier call it "way worse than Iraq." People apologize when I tell them I was born here. There are a lot of hotels and gas stations because of its location, but most of them are family-run, and they don't hire anyone. I've asked. I can't afford to walk out on an interview or tell someone off.

One of my former professors knows the area well, because she used to live here. I got this message from her after the interview: "Sometimes I think most of the area is 50 years in the past."

Obviously, it's not all bad. There have been people who were kind, but I'm not necessarily the most qualified candidate for these kinds of positions and understand when they pick someone else over me. I can teach teens to do derivatives. That's about it. I'll figure things out and move back to the university as soon as I can.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

You should consider the fact that a bad work environment could throw you into another episode. It did for me four years ago. I would keep looking. If you do take the job, take record, date time, description of the incident, and whomever witnesses anything inappropriate that could be seen as discrimination. If you ever needed to go to the commission on human rights, they will look for these things.

Yeah, an old professor of mine and a teacher friend who lives in the area told me to be patient and find an employer who doesn't scare the hell out of me or make me uncomfortable.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

There's always panhandling and dumpster diving.

That was my brother's suggestion, too.

[BipolaRNurse]

What an arse-hole. I wouldn't want to work for that man under any circumstances. Hope you find something better soon.

[tipper1492]

Hey- forget about that guy as soon as you can. He's a real jerk. Probably had his mind made up soon after you walked into the office. May be his marriage sucks and he just wanted to make another feel crummy.

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by tipper1492

Hey- forget about that guy as soon as you can. He's a real jerk. Probably had his mind made up soon after you walked into the office. May be his marriage sucks and he just wanted to make another feel crummy.

Got a call from HR earlier, and they're gonna be calling my references and doing a background check. The manager liked me and has some sway in who they choose, and the owner (the jerk) only goes in once or twice a week. When I asked, they said he tends to go in on Tuesday and Thursday. The job would be 20 to 30 hours a week and mostly during the weekends. That's great for me, 'cause I might be able to find another part-time in the area or get to do some more volunteer work. I'm still turning in other applications while I wait for them to make an official offer. If they make one, I might take it just 'cause I need the cash and would mostly be working with the manager or alone. But, yes, he is a major jerk for sure.

[Hopeful Camel]

Oh, sounds like it all might work out for you after all. It is important for us folks who live with mental illness to keep our self-esteem up. Just remember that if you have to encounter this jerk again, while you are working there, not to internalize what he says. Let it roll off your back.

You always seem like you have a lot going for you when I read your posts. I know it is hard to get back into the swing of things after being out of the job market for awhile. This job may be that first step you need towards getting back into the places where you want to be.

Good luck!

[UCMATH]

Originally Posted by Hopeful Camel

Oh, sounds like it all might work out for you after all. It is important for us folks who live with mental illness to keep our self-esteem up. Just remember that if you have to encounter this jerk again, while you are working there, not to internalize what he says. Let it roll off your back.

You always seem like you have a lot going for you when I read your posts. I know it is hard to get back into the swing of things after being out of the job market for awhile. This job may be that first step you need towards getting back into the places where you want to be.

Good luck!

I'd have a lot going for me if people weren't so interested in why I'm not at the university right now. It was easier to say I was sick back when I lost a lot of weight and shaved my head, because they just assumed I had cancer and stopped asking questions. My mom had it, so that makes sense to them. I felt like I was committing the sin of omission, but my mom was like, "Let them make assumptions! You don't have to say, 'It's not cancer; I'm crazy!'"

In any case, I found the woman I would be replacing, because we have mutual acquaintances. She quit because $9 an hour isn't enough to tolerate getting sexually harassed by the boss when she is alone with him. Yeesh. I think I'll pass this one up. I'd rather not risk it. I've got a few other applications filled out, though, and I think I've made a good impression on the managers I gave them to. I'm cautiously optimistic...

It's too bad you've got to have your bachelor's in order to be a substitute teacher in California. They make around $170 a day in the local school district.