[tailie angel]

My husband and I have been together six years, married almost four. We have a son who will be two in June. I've been diagnosed for over two years.

Our relationship is abusive. Not physically but verbally/emotionally. He is always yelling at me if I 'nag' him to do things like wash the dishes. Or if I ask a question to many times because my memory is bad. He tells me I can't do anything for myself, tells me to shut up all the time, he is sick of me, that I'm a piece of ****, I'm a *****, makes me feel stupid, that I use my disorder as a crutch, ect. I tell him he's an asshole a lot when he acts this way so it's abusive both ways. He is rude to me in front of others and makes me ashamed to be his wife.

I finally realized I have had enough after my friend told me that the relationship is in fact abusive (which I'm still unsure about?) and that my son could be affected by all the fighting and everything. I told him I'm willing to put in the effort to change my ways by seeking help from my councelor on these issues. He is not willing to go to counceling for me. I told him I want to separate to work on myself and see if he decides to get help to to save our relationship. Am I wrong for this? I talk to my councelor tomorrow about moving out. A lot to consider since I only get $300 on disability as of now

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah there seem to be a multitude of factors going on here.

So this is my personal opinion only.

Relationships take two to tango.

It take two to build trust.

Two to communicate.

To to work together towards the goal of absolute honesty about what is really happening in the relationship.

Two to accept and acknowledge behaviour that can be changed.

Two to work towards changing this behaviour.

Two to provide full commitment towards repairing a relationship, with a genuine intention to do so.

Relationships require work.

By both parties.

So on the basis of this alone.

I am really unable to comment on your post.

From the simple point of view that I have not heard your partners side of the story.

If he really does argue with you about everything, and you are absolutely innocent, and have never provoked him to the point of argument and are in absolutely in no way to blame at all for what has happened in this relationship.

Then I am sorry that this happened to you.

[sorand0m]

Just my opinion, but I don't think a reaction to being spoken to like a piece of **** is abusive behavior back, TA. If someone spoke to me like a total *******, I'd react pretty venomously and that isn't the bipolar; it's nature. Your husbands behaviour sounds quite unsympathetic tbh.

You sound willing to compromise and have tried to tackle both you and your husbands problems and it doesn't sound that he's willing to pick up his side of the problem but rather focus on yours.

[tailie angel]

So what do I do? Stick with the plan and try to move out?

Hey hun, that sounds just awful for everyone, especially the child. I've made "bipolar" a personal illness that doesn't involve my spouse or anyone. I just take my meds and try to work on myself. I wouldn't just run just yet. I'd change myself to where I'm happy with my behavior, and if your partner doesn't respond favorly to your new and improved demeanor, then I would start to consider seperation because your partner has a grudge that won't let up. Sorry, good luck to you!