[token451]

I'm forgetting what it is like to not be stressed all of the time. After moving to a new city with my husband, I've been job searching for a couple months, had some interviews, but with no success. We started going to the gym at 6am and the sleep change has been rough. Being so stressed and not always getting enough sleep, I lost it while driving to an interview, and punched my rearview mirror, breaking it off from the car ceiling and cracking it to ****. I was crying and screaming and hitting everything in the car. I haven't had any deep, dark depression since I started taking a supplement called 5HTP, a natural positive mood booster, but the anger has gotten worse. I try not to react when this happens but sometimes it just feels like right when it hits, my body reacts and I don't have time to stop it. I keep thinking that once I settle in and get a job, things will be easier but then I remember that certain jobs provide a lot of triggers and there isn't a whole lot of selection out here. I'm feeling trapped in a stressful, empty circle.

[ChaoticSymphony]

I'm so sorry about the job searching stress. Financial crap is the worst. You pin pointed two things you can change so that's good. Nothing wrong with moving your work out regimen to accommodate your sleeping issues. Go in the evening if anything later than 6 am isn't possible. I know I had a hard time identifying the warning signs before I exploded and now that I have it's made a world of difference. It is possible to stop the freak outs as long as you learn what to watch for. Not going to lie I still allow myself freak outs because the release is amazing sometimes but it would be a cop out for me to say I couldn't control it. Best of luck with the job search and remember that life has a funny way of working out. Hugs

[Trav1985]

I'm on the opposite side of the boat. I've had the same job for almost 3 years, but recently I've been so anxious at work that I've been making questionable calls or not making calls at all. My chest gets tight and my breathing picks up fast. My heart wants to jump out of my chest. I almost snapped on my coworker last night because he kept talking. I wanted to tell him to shut the **** up

[ChaoticSymphony]

Oh just in case this helps these are the things I notice before I explode.

-breathing faster and shallower
-pins and needles in my neck and shoulders and arms
-my thoughts automatically thinking everyone else is stupid and wrong
-tightness in my stomach.

9 times out of 10 if I address the breathing first I settle down pretty fast and comfortably. Also removing myself from the situation as I focus on breathing helps too. Telling myself I am not allowed to think about what pissed me off for half an hour and making a conscious effort to follow that rule totally helps me keep things in perspective.

[electricbipolargirl]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

Oh just in case this helps these are the things I notice before I explode.

-breathing faster and shallower
-pins and needles in my neck and shoulders and arms
-my thoughts automatically thinking everyone else is stupid and wrong
-tightness in my stomach.

I thought I was the only one who gets pins and needles in my neck, shoulders, and arms! Nice to know I'm not alone!

Sorry for your situation hun, dealing with life in a whole new place seems charming enough at first, but that image fades away when reality turns out to not be going the way it was envisioned or hoped for. Things will work out, they always do. When we lose our patience, stress happens. Stress builds and anger begins. Anger escalates and were hopelessly crying at wit's end.

It does make better sense to go to the gym at the end of the day to blow off the days steam instead of stressing the body out first thing in the morning after a crappy nights sleep because your too stressed to sleep the night before. There's something really wrong with that picture. It sounds like the makings of a nuclear bomb.

I hope things get better for you Hun, that that 11th hour miracle takes all your stress away.

[token451]

Well, I got a job that seems like it may work out well. It's not stressful and I'm not constantly being evaluated. It is dull but it's money and not stressful so best option so far. It has fairly normal hours which is great but it's adjusting my sleeping pattern again that is tough. I'm incredibly thankful my husband has been taking everything in stride and not blaming me for the blow ups. I still just seem to snap without much warning.