[JaiHanaLakshmi]

Hey guys, I have extremely upset abotu something that just keeps flippin happening..

So, to start off, im in a relationship with a guy who ive been with for a little over 2 years, and in this time, he has not only gotten me out of an abusive cult, and had his parents get me get back on my feet as far as school and identification is concerned.

Lately, around 6 months ago, things started to fall apart, and with the recent bp type 1 diagnosis (almost 2 months ago), we have really become strained.

Every single day, we argue for 6 hours at a time, he usually ends up insulting me and im filled with animosity from NOT doing the same, and its usually about as he puts it "Me not acknowledging his suffering and how it hurts him" along with other things im not doing. We have the same exact argument every day.
He also says that im not there anymore, but I am. Its just at certain times, im not myself.

It has been quite the opposite, with me even explicitly stating that "I acknowledge how the verbal abuse at times hurts you and im truly sorry and I always feel bad afterwards" I havent been able to physically carry it out because I havent seen him in person for 2 weeks now, and thats kind of hard haha

He isnt the most agreeable guy, very very jaded at times, and he is very sharp tongued, and has a tendency to talk down on me sometimes, but he has a huge heart, is very loyal, and honest (paramedic and firefighter) , and I know I have to "shape up" but how exactly do you do that? I have been lacking on taking care of myself lately due to school (not sleeping, surviving on apples and bananas) and that probably has something to do with it.

If there were some guys out there with a bp girlfriend who can shed some light on your experiences, please do. Im desperate. I know if I dont do something, im gonna lose him, and I dont want that at all.

I know im verbally abusive and can give the cold shoulder when im in those states, and it really really hurts him because he opened up himself up to me from a lifetime of being hurt and abandoned, and im really desperate for help. My life is going down the drain and im suffocating..

My parents, no contact, no family members (all dead or in another country) and a lot of my friends live in Germany, the ones around me, I cant burden them with this right now.. They have their own stuff theyre going through.

[Crazy Hitch]

I am sorry to hear this is so hard.

There's an interesting blog here on pc on the impact of bp on relationships - might be worth the read:

4 of the Biggest Barriers in Bipolar Disorder | Psych Central

What Happens to Love in a Bipolar Relationship | Bipolar Beat

[JaiHanaLakshmi]

Thank you for the links, they have helped me a lot. <3