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#1
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Some of the people who tell me about their depression say their GP diagnosed them and prescribed antidepressants for it. They frequently say the antidepressants worked immediately (that makes me skeptical) and that they don't see a therapist. When they tell me about the symptoms of their depression, it sounds like they're experiencing normal stress, which gets pathologized. It's stuff like stress from school or arguing with parents or feeling a little less happy than they normally do. Sometimes they're grieving over the loss of a family member. Sometimes they're just dissatisfied. A few of them have tried to tell me that they now know what it's like to be me.
It makes me want to scream, "No, you don't know what it's like! That's not depression; that's normal human emotion! I'd kill to have emotions like that. Why are you on meds for that? Go to a freaking therapist!" I know there are people who have no idea what it's like to be mentally ill who say the same kind of thing. Even when everything else in my life was great, people would tell me that my severe depression was "just stress." They'd say, "It's normal to get sad! Everyone gets sad!" I guess I'm saying that I have difficulty taking a lot of people seriously when they tell me about their depression. I have difficulty sympathizing, because they usually have pretty good reasons for feeling sad and I've never been able to think of any possible causes for any of my depressive episodes. It makes me feel like a jerk. Does anyone else have the same issue?
__________________
DX: Bipolar I Daily: Lamotrigrine 200 mg PRN: Seroquel 25 mg |
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![]() Capriciousness, cashart10, Trippin2.0
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#2
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That is the depression catch 22; if you cannot think of a reason why you feel depressed, you must be a jerk, if you are a jerk you should be depressed. It is a myth of course, you are depressed for good reasons that are not your fault.
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#3
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People casually toss around words like "depressed" all the time. I have some people in my life that just don't understand BP. They give advice like "relax" or tell me I need to "drink a beer and chill". But that's OK. For example, my mom hasn't really accepted me for who I have become and thinks BP is my excuse. She has never really been supportive of me and would only be happy if I had become King of the World (which I am not). She's only happy when everyone in my family is the best, the wealthiest, the best looking, the most successful. It is frustrating but my condition is my reality and it will probably never change. The counter party to anything needs to give to make it work and some people in our lives won't give an inch.
Thus, I walk in my own shoes and I know this. I just try to focus on me an do my own thing. |
#4
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Situational depression is different from major depressive disorder or the depressive episodes we experience with bipolar disorder. That doesn't make situational depression any less real or uncomfortable for those who are experiencing it, but it does tend to respond faster to antidepressant treatment.
A few years back after my sister passed away, I actually went through a bout of situational depression that lasted a few months. As someone who had only had the "pleasure" of dealing with bipolar depressive episodes, it was interesting to actually experience the difference. First, I realized it was different because there was a very specific reason for the depression; it went beyond normal grief and was quite serious and problematic, so it wasn't simple, normal grief. But I could also see the difference from my usual depressive episodes because it was so specific whereas my bipolar episodes always had that just overall depressive feel, that trying to function through the quicksand feel without really having a "reason" for feeling so down. Both are very uncomfortable, very debilitating, and disruptive. The main difference was the knowing what the problem was aspect. My situational depression, by the way, did respond a bit faster to an adjustment in meds, and therapy was more useful with it because I knew exactly what I needed to focus on. But I wouldn't begrudge anyone the seriousness of their situational depression; it is just very different in how it feels. |
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#5
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Right. But I'm not really talking about situational depression. I know that's a serious issue. I'm talking about the people I know who say being stressed out from school, for example, is depression. Then they get put on antidepressants by a GP and respond to them within hours.
__________________
DX: Bipolar I Daily: Lamotrigrine 200 mg PRN: Seroquel 25 mg |
#6
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Quote:
But actually, it sounds like you hear what you hear and think it say that they don't understand you, but really, that's all they can say to prove that they have depression. Antidepressant help build, do build, dendritic spines, man. And stress does have a pathology eventually. If you need help with this, the one thing I'll offer is that you let them know what you may have just considered, and that it may be true that it will take time and practice for you to assimilate to recognizing the items of attention that are your responsibility for being aware of, and responding according to established trust, and to objectives defined and designed by your relationships. You, too, can work to have a perfect living experience while your inside yourself, and you and parties may not be doing **** for each other for any life-affirming goals. You feel like jerk because they didn't just tell you that, and things got worked into a circumstance where a natural distance exists. It's cool. That's what that feeling pertains to, likely, and you are thus, for considerations, exactly not a jerk. |
#7
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Ahhh this is a subject that use to just totally yank my chain.
In my case since I am not out spoken about my BP and maybe 6 or so people irk know.. When a person is saying they are depressed because they can't buy a new ____. Or they got a speeding ticket etc.. Thoses ? I just smh walking away. For the ones that situational stuff hits , Like major life changes , divorce or a death of a loved one being fired from a job you loved and having months and months of searching and still no job , Or a family who lost there home to a fire..... Ok stuff like that , Yes Situational things have indeed tore that person apart and many go to there GP and they get put on AD ____ and they do start feeling better... As for the ones that take it for a few days and shout from the roof tops how they are feeling fantastic? Yes for a small % it happens , especially if it's one that is activating .. A handful of years ago my husband was on an AD and he said he was starting to feeling better after a week.. I was like ![]() I not only have a nasty BP but I have chronic pain.. So I hear so many people complain about there mood or how that stubbed toe is going to hurt them for days.... I have wanted to explode and tell them exactly what physical and mental pain is like ...Will it help them understand? Nope probably not. Will it help me feel better? Yeah until 12 seconds after I blow up I realize its not anyones fault I am currently in a lousy way... I can't compare my pain nor my mental problems and levels to anyone else.... I really have come to terms with all this over time. Do I like it ? Nope ! not at all.. What I have finally decided for me that helps.. " Here I sit with a mass amount of huge mental and physical struggles , yet here I am, I am keeping my head above water, I fight and fight and when I need a break I can float ..... I'm sorry but I'm a freaking Super hero !! ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Capriciousness, HALLIEBETH87
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![]() HALLIEBETH87, Turtlesoup
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#8
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(possible trigger)
Quote:
All I know is it took several weeks to sink all the way down to sui the last time,, and it took even longer to climb out.. |
#9
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Yep. That is what I tell my family and friends. Bipolar can be controlled to a certain extent with meds, but not cured. The moods still break thru.
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#10
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Boundaries? Do you have Boundaries set with your friends? Most non MI people probably have never heard of them or how to use it effectively.
So sit down with your friend(s) explain that having Bipolar is over whelming to you and you can only imagine how over whelming it can be to them, Come up with a game plan . Sure they need to know when your in a rough spot, but dumping it all in there laps isnt fair nor healthy at all.. I have a T... HE is the one I need to dump all this nasty slimy burden onto so that he can help me manage and move forward . Sure your going to hit rough spots and will need your friends support and love. Bipolar just can take over a relationship(s) if you don't keep an eye on it. Dont feel like a jerk, I get mad at the person that uses the word "Depressed" because they are cleaning the ice cream machine and she cant have any "right now" or Tonight we went out to with a couple that I have no intention of every sharing my Bipolar with.... The woman was complaining about her best friend Andrea and her Anxiety issues ... she said " Omg, shes so bipolar" ... Hubby nudged me under the table .LOL on our way home I was like ,,, can you imagine this woman knowing I HAVE bipolar ??? LMAO .. The point is people are mostly ignorant about just how severe a mental illness can be unless they actually have to have it and live with it. So , it's okay and no your are not being a jerk , You are living a life that can be extremely difficult at times. You and you friends need to sit down and figure how you can seek help and comfort from them and they know how to offer that emotional help and not allow it to burn them out... ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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