Intro and Questions, Questions, Questions...

When I was diagnosed I went to a mood disorder clinic and saw one of the top drs in the world specializing in bipolar. I just happened to live in the right place. To do his assessment, which was a couple hours long if I remember, he required I have someone with me to validate what I would say. He had her sit so that I couldn't really see her without trying and I'd say something and he'd look at her for a nod or she'd give input. She definitely was aware of more mania than I was but that still is a theme; I remember depressions and am apparently more manic than depressed. It turned out to be really helpful that someone was supplementing what a very manic me was able to describe.

Maybe hang out here and in BPD for a while and see where you feel comfortable? Maybe it will be both, maybe one or the other.

Drs. who use the "just" thing make me so angry (You'd feel better if you "just lost some weight" etc.) They should try living in other people's shoes for a few days. When I started seeing my family dr one of the things I told him was that I never wanted to hear that kind of thing, that I know I'm overweight from meds and I do what I can but I only have so much energy and all I can do is my best. The only time he's ever mentioned weight was when I was weighed with a huge cast and a heavy backpack which made it seem I'd gained 10 or 15 lbs in a few months which concerned him but was easily explained away. That's why I stick with him. He's kind to me. I know how hard it is to find that. For a while I had no primary dr because nobody around where I lived would take a bipolar patient or someone on anti-psychotics. Then I started seeing a dr near where I worked and wound up reporting him to the medical board because he kept prescribing something he himself and said I couldn't take with one of my meds. So then my psychiatrist and urgent care were all I had until I found Dr. Awesome. I've followed him through 2 moves and don't care because he is that good. But I know that I'm really lucky to have him; it could be and has been very bad.

I did go into that relationship with some ground rules about the mental health care and maybe you can do that as well. For you I'm thinking things like "if you don't know something you will please contact someone who does", "you will keep my med doses at normal levels" etc.

My weight in and of itself doesn't bother me to talk about. No, I'm not happy with it, but it is what it is.

Yes, I have started with the mood tracker. That was what brought me to Psych Central in the first place. According to the mood tracker (and myself) I've been doing better since being medicated, but there's also a menstrual cycle to factor in. (Sorry, but it's true ) I can't imagine the Seroquel's already doing that much after 4 days, most psychoactives take at least a week to really get into your system... right?

Thank you!

In fact, Thank you, everyone for all the responses!! You guys are awesome!!!

Actually about 4 days is right for Seroquel. So you are right on track with a response which is very good.

That's really kind of awesome. An example of one of the differences I can feel is that I'm actually slightly hopeful for the first time in a looooooong time. I'm hoping the Seroquel works for two reasons. 1, the next choice is Lithium, which wouldn't bother me, except the doc says I'll have to be monitored very closely including bloodwork and I feel like a burden everytime I have to ask for a ride somewhere. 2, I'm tired of trying new meds.

That's a good thing to feel hopeful. Seroquel has been a miracle for me. It didn't fix anything but it has always worked better than any other mood stabilizer/AP.

You can hang out wherever you are comfortable. You can do both if you like. There are forums here with other specific issues that you might find of interest too (relationships, coping with emotions etc.). If you haven't already found the list, just look at the top left of the page. Click on "Forums", and in the drop down you will see "Index". There are a lot of them!

Probably the best thought I have regarding your mother's perception is to recommend for you to keep a mood chart. There are quite a few out there or you can custom make your own. There are quite a few threads on the subject that you may find it useful to search. Anyhow, in charting you get a visual representation of what's going on for you. It's often hard to see a pattern in the midst of simply dealing with each day. Charting will give you a more encompassing picture. Give it time, but if no real spells show themselves, and every day is pretty all over the place and situational, it'd be a good indicator that it's very likely BPD. If there are waves and plateaus (of varying lengths and degrees, but that are more in terms of a number of days, weeks, months-- or even sometimes years-- that would point towards BP. Indeed, such a pattern would show cycling itself! (If it's there, that is(!))

Here is another thought on trying to find a mental health provider --the phone book. And not just the yellow pages. Even though there are a lot where I live, I was having a really hard time lining someone up initially (not having insurance was a big barrier). I'd already been dx'd by a Pdoc where I had moved from, there was no mystery or confusion on the dx, as I'm a pretty straight up case, lol. Anyhow, I chose a PMHNP. I totally lucked out. She's been a godsend.

Brain fart! I just remembered you have insurance. They of course have the whole "in network" thing... so you'll want to consult their list (you probably already have, just covering all bases). Sometimes they'll cover others, but maybe at a different rate or something. That'd be worth looking into too, seeing how it's so limited where you are. I think some of them are more lenient in that regard when there are few providers in the area. Hmmm... phone book still might come in handy. Personally, I've not always found the internet terribly useful in regards to providers (or smaller local companies or independents either). I'm a total research hound, so internet's great, but certainly not exhaustive when it comes to options.

(Good God that's long! Sorry!)

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

No worries on length, you've seen how long my average posts are, lol. I have to show my age and admit that I had forgotten about phone books . It'll be a short search, the phone books here are only about yay /....../ thick. I will also check with my insurance provider. There are a few acronyms that are nearby (or nearer by, anyway) I'm confused about which ones might be helpful, though. I thought only a psychiatrist could prescribe meds?

Ahhh, bet it's PMHNP. Stands for Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. First part's redundant, imo(!) Anyhow, their, what is called "prescriptive authority" varies from state to state. Where I am, they have "full prescriptive authority", which means they are authorized to do prescriptionspo, just like an MD. So I am able to do both meds and therapy through one person.
(Some places it is set up differently--I'd be happy to check into it for you a bit later but right now it's off to work...)

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

I don't know if this has been said already or not but DBT is actually used for a lot of things now like eating disorders, self harm, depression bipolar and more. It has helped my bipolar immensely.

Here, at long last(!) is the info on prescriptive authority for nurse practioners!(Sorry for the delay). It's got info for all the states, if anyone is interested to know for a different state.

From the site: lawatlas.org

The following is for Illinois dated up to Aug '14 (for this or any other state, click on the map on the site.)
APNs (advanced nurse practitioners)...Must enter into collaborative practice agreement with a physician, but they do not need to practice at same site nor have employer/employee relationship. State law does say how far away they may practice. Have prescriptive authority for meds of Schedule III - V. Schedule II can be too, but there are some limitations. Prescriptive authority is delegated by the physician in the collaborative agreement.

Those are the basics. They have a basic list, as well as link to the actual laws (by clicking on the little blue symbol.

Hope this info helps open up some options for you.

IMPORTANT TO ADD... I'm not saying you need meds or even necessarily get dx'd by nurse practioner, just that should it go that way in the long run, the info might be useful. If you do end up going this route, I'd be sure to get one whose speciality is psych.
I still really think it sounds a lot more like BPD than BP, and that you should definitely check into DBT. Doesn't need meds or a dx to do it ( of course!), and till such time as the other can be sorted out, it can help a lot symptom-wise. Something you can do while you wait for those.

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure