[BipolarGirl86]

Well, I guess I should start with the fact that I just started a new job roughly 3 weeks ago now. I have also been off my meds since the beginning of the month due to financial reasons (however I am going to get the filled tomorrow). At first, I loved my new job. I am still in training as well though. I help take care of individuals with intellectual disabilities and mental health issues that live in group homes. I have about 6 years experience in this field as well. So my trainings consist of office trainings and shadowing within the group home. The staff in the house I am shadowing in seemed really nice as well as my supervisor. My first two weeks went well and I was feeling stable and happy and positive.. but within the past week my mood rapidly declined and within the past 3 days I have been feeling really depressed and just plain lousy.

I am a very friendly person and I have been extremely nice to the other staff members in the home that I am going to be working in and I think they seen my kindness as weakness or something. They have been really rude and mean to me with in the past week and I don't know why. They act nice to me but when I am not around they say horrible things about me and I can't understand why. I am brand new and they don't even know me yet. A friend of mine that works for the company mentioned that she thinks its because they need to cut staffing in the house I am in and people are basically becoming worried that they will lose their positions within that house so in a way it seems like they are trying to push me out to lock in their position.

I happen to be colorblind which has never been an issue in any other place that I have worked in. However, we do have to cook for the individuals so I explained that I am color blind and have an issue seeing the difference between cooked and uncooked meat and that I may just need a little help with that. So the one girl asked me how I drive if I am colorblind so I explained that I still see colors but they just look different to me than they would another person. I said that green on a street light looks white and red and yellow tend to look orange. I didn't think nothing about what I said and I have been driving for years without any issues. I mean I passed my drivers test and everything years ago but I was still colorblind back then. So apparently the staff members that where there when I said that called my supervisor and told her that I said I can't drive and that I can't see the lights at all. They said that I am a safety risk since part of the job requires driving and all this other stuff that was just a bunch of complete lies.

It's not just the colorblind thing but a bunch of things like that. Its just one thing after another. And the girl that is supposed to be training me is tell me to do things like lie about the mental health status off my one client to keep him from getting hospitalized and to hide the clients paychecks on them so that they don't blow their money right away. That stuff right there is falsifying documents and abuse. Things that would automatically get someone in a lot of trouble and fired. I mentioned to my supervisor the things that this lady to training me to do because I know from being in that field that that stuff isn't right and my supervisor got an attitude with ME about it like I was taking her precious time away from her to ask her "Hey, look this is what I am being told to do. Is this something you really want me to do?" Even though I know stuff like that isn't right to do I am new to the company so it shouldn't be an issue for me to get clarification.

It's way too much to explain everything but with how I am being treated I feel like I am being bullied or something. I am miserable but I really need this job and med insurance that it offers. I've been crying off and on for the past 3 days. I've never had anyone treat me as horrible as my new co-workers are treating me. The actual company I work for is amazing but the house i am in is horrible and I can't transfer anywhere for 6 months and I haven't even made it through my first month yet.

I am just starting to get really, really depressed. I haven't felt this low in a long time. And today when I friend of mine told me about some of the things my supervisor was saying about me I just broke down and started crying and couldn't stop. my boyfriend just layed with me and tried to comfort me. I really don't know what to do and what my options are. I'm starting to get bad thoughts about the way that I am feeling in brief moments when I start to get really upset and I am sure it doesn't help that I am off my meds currently. I keep asking people what I did wrong and everyone keeps telling me that I honestly didn't do anything but it's hard to agree with that when there is more than one person treating me badly. In the house I am in, there is 5 or 6 employees and 3 of them are singling me out.. they rest have no issues with me what so ever. I just don't know what to do and I really don't like feeling like this.

Any advice would be appreciated or any thoughts..

thinking of you

[Wander]

Welcome BipolarGirl! What an awful situation to be in. Despite that I think your change in mood may be linked to you stopping your meds. Hopefully when you re-introduce them you will start feeling better. That doesn't change your work situation though and that is bound to cause major stress. I have been bullied in the workplace and it is a really tough position to be in. Does your company have a Human Resources Department with a Complaints area? It is a big deal to go down that line though. Something really has to change as you cannot live working in an environment like that. I wish I had some decent ideas for you. Sorry. I wish you all the best.