[down&out85]

Can somebody explain to me the thinking and drive behind one with bipolar seeking out a new crowd, new group of friends, new partner, etc? Especially when one has NOTHING in common with these people, and they are younger, shallow, and have only known them for mere months?

Is it the thrill of pretending to be somebody different?

Is the brain fooling you into thinking these people are actually fascinating and deep?

Is it a desire to escape the former life, thus seeking out the opposite? (IE: trading in intellectual for ditzy, older for younger, long-time friend/partner for new and exciting people)

Are these people the symptom of (hypo)mania, or are they the trigger?

Are they mere distractions, or a form of self-medicating?

Yes, I'm speaking of somebody close to me, whose behavior and the people they are now seeking out and spending time with absolutely blows my mind. This is a person whose NORMAL is Bob Dylan, classic literature, nerdy documentaries, and shunning the tanned, makeup-ed, popular, shallow types. etc. Who is now spending time with people whose tastes are Taylor Swift, brainless TV, chick flick movies, endless tweeting, video games, anime, etc. Had I known this person for only a year or so, I could understand having missed that. But it's been nearly 9 years and I know this person better than anybody in their life ever has. And no, it's not just me who has been pushed away, their long-time best friend has also been ignored for months as well. It's just so perplexing..

[Imah]

I am going to try to respond to you, because you made it to page 3 with no responses. I have bipolar 1. I have experienced what she has experienced. I think no one responded, because maybe we wonder too. I will try to ask myself these questions - and help you to better understand.

I am 50. I have acted so many roles in my life mainly because my mind does not see me as a specific thing - but always trying something new. We - or I mean I - I need to feel emotions. A predictable life makes my spirit feel like it is dying. Like a bird with broken wings.

Even when my life is perfectly calm and seemingly happy - I find I will seek out difference, simply to feel other ways of being. I have been told it is called self sabotage, and is common with borderline personality disorder. I think its bipolar as well.

For me, with bipolar - there are no boundaries, no limits that mankind or church can put on me that I will not be able to see past. I will (and have) run naked through town at night simply to experience it. WHY, and POSSIBILITIES are the heart of the adventurer. I do not commit crimes, I do not want to create harm to anyone or anything, but I cannot stand the idea of following a mapped out plan of life. I explore, and want to relish, bluster, feast, and savor. I do this through 'becoming' new personalities. This was decades of my life.

If one understands the point of view of everyone. EVERYONE - how can we be made to think any one way is the right way?

Every experience only enriches our lives.

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The struggle then is, no one but other bipolars understands this - This feeling of the freedom of the fish who has the entire ocean, the freedom of the bird who has the entire sky. Where to go, what to do - there are no limits.

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The things that have driven me to try new things, even at the risk of friendships and relationships lost is because I wasn't fulfilled in my spirit. There was a need of something more out there. Life must offer something more.

Bipolars and Borderline Personality Disorder, are very similar in action - Learn about both.

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If your in a relationship with a person who has either disorder, or illness - you are never going to be bored. If you allow them to experiment with life - and know that you will be their supportive best friend, they will continue to come back to you. Many relationships fail when one person wants to act out in new ways and the other feels this means the relationship is unstable, or changing.

It doesn't have to be. To be honest, what the heck do you care if she wears make up when she didn't. If her taste in music changes, or the car she wants to drive, or a career change. If she is still coming back to you, you are lucky. Tell her how good she looks, how fun she is. Laugh at the changes, and hold her when she cries.

If you are trying to force her to mold back into something she has left - she will break that mold.

IMO her life, you, her old best friend - were not giving her new emotional lessons. Not mentally and emotionally stimulating. She was bored. Not just mentally bored, as you might be listing to an aunt discuss her turnip garden. Inside her spirit would feel like a shriveled up prune, falling more and more into the abyss of black depression. The higher the mania - the stronger the fall.

Best of luck to you, and to us all.

[down&out85]

Thanks Imah. Apparently it's not a very relatable topic!

[Imah]

Originally Posted by down&out85

Thanks Imah. Apparently it's not a very relatable topic!

It's relatable. Just no one responded. It happens. But I have read people talking about that before. Its common for people with bipolar to be changeable - its also common for people with borderline personality disorder, which symptoms appear quite close.

Just keep reading at other peoples threads and you will find similarities. Hopefully someone else will respond.

Best of luck to us all.