[Miss Laura]

Hi guys,

I have been doing really well but over the last few weeks I have been getting higher. But that's not the issue to be honest. I go to Drama-Therapy once a week and last week we took all our work home as tomorrow is the last session for 3 weeks. I haven't looked at my work until midnight 17th June. Looking through my work got me thinking of the past (never good). I talk to myself as I live alone so I am always talking to myself out loud. I started talking about my Dad and how bad our relationship was. I got really angry and then I was talking about deaths and that got me upset too I was crying for 4 hours. I finally went to bed at this point. However I woke up at 6am crying. Here is the problem!

In Drama we have a Therapist and a Support Worker. The Support Worker is leaving tomorrow as she has finished Uni and is setting her path as a Therapist herself. I have never thought of the SW until this morning I couldn't stop crying this was me for 2 hours I kept having dreams about her just upping and leaving and I got really upset. I got angry and I punched my bathroom wall. My head was thinking of SW. I texted my friend who is also in my Drama sessions and she told me to call the Therapist up and chat to her about it as she will be able to ease my thoughts. I called and left a message on the answer phone and waited all day nothing. I texted my friend and told her and she said she might be off today so to try tomorrow.... but I'm stressing out and have been having anxiety attacks all day.... its now 9:50pm and I'm scared I cry and make a fool out of myself tomorrow. I'm half thinking not going in.... but my friend said I would regret it.

Do I call my Therapist tomorrow?
Do I go in and just let it all go?
Do I go in and not say anything?
Why am I thinking about SW?

After the 3 weeks we will have a new SW and 3 new people in the group which is stressing me out

I feel like I have list the plot....

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[wiretwister]

I have no wise words to give you because I know change is hard, ... I would go to therepy though ... wishing you the best and peace ...

[Crazy Hitch]

(((Miss Laura)))

Sometimes our friends are good to use as a neutral second hand opinion when we're unsure of what to be because we're overwhealmed by emotional distressors.

So your friend may very well be right when they say:

"I'm half thinking not going in.... but my friend said I would regret it."

I'd be leaning more towards the side of taking your friends advice

[Capriciousness]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

(((Miss Laura)))

Sometimes our friends are good to use as a neutral second hand opinion when we're unsure of what to be because we're overwhealmed by emotional distressors.

So your friend may very well be right when they say:

"I'm half thinking not going in.... but my friend said I would regret it."

I'd be leaning more towards the side of taking your friends advice

This is good advice. If you trust your friend then she may know what you need right now. Nothing is in stone either. If you go and then regret it just "have a headache" or something and go home. Say you aren't feeling well. That's the truth.

Hi Miss Laura, good to see you again, though sorry to hear you are having a rough time.
I agree with the others that it's probably a good idea to go in. As to whether you "let it all go" (you mean as in let it all out, yes?) or go and not say anything... You can just play it by ear. You don't need to decide ahead of time, just see how it goes. Why are you thinking of the SW? My guess would be that she is just representative of the changes. IIRC, change gives you quite a bit of apprehension, so it would make sense. Re: calling your T, I don't know. Your friend suggested that chatting with her would ease your thoughts. Do you think it would? How did you feel when she suggested it? That might decide how helpful (or not) doing that might be.

[Miss Laura]

Hi guys,

Thank you for all your replies. My Therapist called me today and we spoke. She wanted me to still come as I would regret it. She said the group is for me and the SW is just part of the group supporting us. I was stressing all day. I told I wouldn't talk in therapy as I didn't know what to say.

Drama Therapy time comes round.... I couldn't look at Therapist or SW. I just couldn't. We played games today which is always fun then 10 minutes before we ended we cane back together as a group to say a good bye and anything else we wanted to say. I burst into tears 😢 I couldn't stop but tried my hardest to just sniff rather than full blown crying. SW got up to get me a tissue and she touched my shoulder when she came with them I went into full blown crying. I ran out of the theatre and into the toilets. I went back with only a few minutes to spare. Everyone was asking if I was okay 😕 I just nodded. I had a card for SW so gave her it as we had all signed it.

The Therapist ask me to stay behind and I dissolved into tears.... I hate crying especially in front of people. We spoke about how I was feeling. I was angry... We spoke about the fact I don't talk about these feelings and I should as that is what the sessions are for. I managed to say good bye to SW just and no more.... I wished her good luck and she wished me luck for my future too.

Waiting on my bus and I start crying, then I see SW as she was going for her train she went down a street and I watched her leave the town until she had gone 😢

Got on bus and I cried and I have been crying non stop. Been home 3 hours

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[Crazy Hitch]

Hang in there Miss Laura

Everyone here on PsychCentral is here for you too

[wiretwister]

((((( Laura )))) , crying is one way our soul helps to heal us , it will take time , one day you will look back be grateful for the time you had together , but now you must embrace change , it will not be easy but will get easier with every day , no one will replace her but new and different friends will come along , peace to you ...

(((((Miss Laura)))))

[Miss Laura]

Thanks guys!

Today it's been a bit weepy in the morning but I have been busy today so it's been okay. Missed my meds today too just feeling alive. Sleep is not on the cards it's now 12:13am (Sat) :-) I keep thinking of SW and I wish I could draw as I would sketch her but I am useless at art. So I will just need to rely on memory

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[~Christina]

Hiya Miss Laura I'm sorry your dealing with this. I am glad that your here and talking about how this is emotionally distressing.

Take care of you

[Crazy Hitch]

Glad to hear that you've had some things to keep you occupied with

Sorry about the disruption in your sleep.

Hope you feel bettter tomorrow.

[Miss Laura]

Hi guys, I went back to Drama on Thurs 16th July. All week I have had bad anxiety. So I called my therapist up and said I wasn't coming in. She said if I didn't come in and left it until next week it would be harder for me to come in. We spoke about how I feel stupid about it all etc. So I turned up just before the time we start as I didn't want to see the people in the group until then. My therapist said she was glad to see me. As did a woman in the group. When down in the theatre we were chatting about how we are and I apologised for the way I behaved the last time. I apologise all the time and it's annoying. I explained I was off my meds but that I'm back on them and that I'm better. I was slow to start with in the group was quiet then half way through the session I bounced back to my old self. At the end I said I was glad I came and although I'm glad the day is done I am feeling better. I need to give my therapist another contact detail as I'm no longer part of the organisation who referred me. So gotta think about that.... Thanks for all your comforting words :-)

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