Stress, sleep problems, symptoms, more stress

So life is hugely stressful right now. I'm trying to rejoin the work force again this time with dedication. My husband and I are moving 3 hours away. I've had the sole responsibility of coordinating the move, finding an apartment with a pitbull, signing leases, managing finances with a shoe string budget. Packing and down sizing from a 3 bedroom house with a shed, to a one bedroom apartment. Arranging utilities on and off. Moving truck blah blah blah. This whole move is basically moving me into a city with more resources and jobs. On top of everything I'm planning on divorcing my husband because he's a compulsive liar and emotionally manipulative.

A ball of stress, in a box of stress, on a shelf of stress, in the store of stress.

Honestly I'm doing way better than I thought I would. But my sleep is all but absent, I'm not manic or hypo manic. Stress immediately reduces the amount of sleep I am able to get. If my sleep stays compromised long enough I start to cycle, mania first then hypo then down the rabbit hole of depression. When I start to cycle my stress level grows exponentially, my sleep gets worse, then my symptoms get unmanageable.

I've been getting 4 hours or less of sleep a night for just over a month. I practice good sleep Hygiene, I've tried using white noise or music, tried taking melatonin, tried wearing myself out before trying to sleep. The only sleep medication I have is Ambien, and I can take up to 30mg and not be able to fall asleep for hours and still wake up in two hours and not be able to sleep.

I really don't want to start cycling, and I have a feeling packing the truck this weekend and doing the move this weekend is going to break down the feeble supports holding my BP at bay.

Does anyone else have a similar pattern?
Any ideas of what I can do differently?

Thanks for reading my novel, thanks for replies and advice in advance. J

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Firstly, welcome, jacquiinaz!
Same pattern? Well, I'm not sure which one, but I can relate to having loads of stress and beyond reason seem to be holding it together (but apprehensive). And wonky sleep. And having entirely too many things on a plate. And moves. Oh yes, know them ridiculously well.

I've got no business advising in the sleep arena, so elsewhere we go. One thing that does come to mind is to be careful with the load. When there's so much to be done, it's way too easy to take too much on. I find that it's all ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, but it heads towards a tipping point, where too many things have (already) been taken on, and frustration, anger and resentment hit and it gets ugly. So, as things come up, be careful not to just go auto-pilot, but question --is it really necessary? Can someone else do it? Does it need to happen in crunch time or can it wait? Jettison the extraneous. Ruthlessly.

Wishing you well.

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

Hi!

You have an impressive amount of self awareness regarding your pattern. I have a similar stress sleep thing but it can send me up or down or up then down or whatever.

That is a lot that you are going through. It seems like you are doing a great job trying to be mindful and stay on top of it all.

Its great to have you here

Can your doctor give you something different than ambien? I have a weird tolerance so it never works for me. Trazadone and Xanax work. I would be really concerned about your sleep, that's a major danger sign for me so I would try and address that ASAP.