[ozzy1313]

My kids and family need me. My youngest starts freshman year tomorrow. I am having a 50th anniversary party for my folks at my house on Friday.

I am sinking again. I've been pretty good since mid March. I am so tired- I haven't slept through the night in about 3 months. My face is so broken out I feel so ugly (derm just rx some meds). I'm so tired.

I am supposed to start school in 2 weeks (grad program to get endorsed to teach special ed) but not sure I want that. I wait tables now and tips have been crap and I didn't show up today- gave shift away at last min. I just couldn't go.

I cry all the time again. I have a heavy, sick feeling in my chest most of the time. I even woke up anxious. I have a bottle of prozac (which always helped) that I am thinking about starting on until I can get in to pdoc.

[Sesiley]

Sounds like you may need to go to the hospital. They can start you on something there to get it started and get you a follow up doctor.

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[SillyKitty]

I would go to the hospital since Prozac takes a while to get in your system. Plus you should probably at least speak to a pdoc before starting the medicine if you don't want to go to the hospital.

Eta: I'm right there with you. In limbo. So if you like, take my advice with a pinch of salt because I won't go to the hospital. Too much going on with my first grader just starting back.

[coffeebuzzbuzz]

Yea, I agree. At least see someone asap to adjust your meds. I personally get used to everything I take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. You don't have to feel this way though. ::

[Disorder7]

I understand. There's been many times when I just didn't want to exist.

But it's not normal. You need a med change--- quickly. Something is going on inside your brain, and it's not right.
Keep in mind that just because certain meds used to work, doesn't mean they work forever.

Take care.

[ozzy1313]

I think I worded it wrong- I am not in any danger of hurting myself.

I just feel overwhelmed and would prefer to live life from my bed but I can't.

And I also feel quilty for not being the wife my husband thought he was marrying. I haven't always been like this- the older I get the more sever my symptoms.

I wonder if I was sleeping better if I would feel better? Maybe I should call my gp for a sleep med. I'm so tired. Right now my head is pounding anf I want to sleep

[loophole]

Originally Posted by ozzy1313

I think I worded it wrong- I am not in any danger of hurting myself.

I just feel overwhelmed and would prefer to live life from my bed but I can't.

And I also feel quilty for not being the wife my husband thought he was marrying. I haven't always been like this- the older I get the more sever my symptoms.

I wonder if I was sleeping better if I would feel better? Maybe I should call my gp for a sleep med. I'm so tired. Right now my head is pounding anf I want to sleep

Just speaking from my own experience. A sleep schedule makes a huge difference. If you can find a sleep med that doesn't make you drag through the next day I might be well worth your while.... My life is far from perfect right now but I can't imagine what it would be like without not getting enough sleep

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[Disorder7]

Sleep would most definitely help. There are lots of meds to help with sleep. Just 25 mg of Seroquel will drop you like a rock!!!

I do think you should call someone for help.

[ozzy1313]

Originally Posted by Disorder7

Sleep would most definitely help. There are lots of meds to help with sleep. Just 25 mg of Seroquel will drop you like a rock!!!

I do think you should call someone for help.

I actually have 25mg of seroquel that my pdoc rx. It was to be as needed and I took it once but I don't recall it making me tired. I still have a few (she rx just 10) so may as well give it a shot.

[cakeladie]

Ozzy has we get older we change. Have you talked to your husband? He may be a comfort to you. Open up to him give him a chance. If not then before you take anything talk to someone please

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by ozzy1313

I have a heavy, sick feeling in my chest most of the time.

I get that when I am really depressed. It's like my chest is hollow, exhausted and shaky, feels the way it feels after I've had a serious cry, but I will carry the feeling in my chest for hours at a time without having actually cried. It's one of my major red flags for serious depression episodes.

If your depression is anything like mine, it can spiral downward very quickly from that point, so please be careful.

[raspberrytorte]

Maybe melatonin would help you sleep? Or that generic sleep aide you can get from wal-mart? I wasn't sleeping, and it was making me really grumpy and pissed off, and I DON'T want to take seroquel to help me sleep because I hate seroquel, so I bought the above last night and actually managed to sleep for six hours.

I hope you feel better soon!!

[ozzy1313]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Maybe melatonin would help you sleep? Or that generic sleep aide you can get from wal-mart? I wasn't sleeping, and it was making me really grumpy and pissed off, and I DON'T want to take seroquel to help me sleep because I hate seroquel, so I bought the above last night and actually managed to sleep for six hours.

I hope you feel better soon!!

I actually just bought melatonin at Target tonight. I bought the 3mg

[raspberrytorte]

I bought the super strength 5mg bottle. Lol! Three of those and I was out like a light, not that I'm saying to take three of course, but I was REALLY desperate.

Hope it works!

[~Christina]

Aww Ozzy I'm sorry your in the lousey place. I would say definately get ahold of your Pdoc.. As for Prozac, personally any AD's fling me into a hellish mixed.

Getting so decent sleep certainly helps Bipolars stay upright. If yours has been lacking then I would just focus on that aspect.

I hope your feeling better soon.

I struggle with the same issues about " My husband didn't sign up for this" But he did in fact, We made promises, the ole sickness and health yadda yadda.

reading this thread has made me realise what little i've left to live for. (i know that's not the intention,) but that's the outcome for me.

suppose my life's so screwed up that even if their was someway to restart the entire thing it wouldn't make any diffrence

[ozzy1313]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

reading this thread has made me realise what little i've left to live for. (i know that's not the intention,) but that's the outcome for me.

suppose my life's so screwed up that even if their was someway to restart the entire thing it wouldn't make any diffrence

I'm sorry things are so bleak for you right now. I have often thought that if I knew how bad my mental illness would get I wouldn't have started a family, and I have wished sometimes that my suicide attempt in high school would have been final. But I can't change either of those things. I have to be here whether good, bad, or ugly. Even when the pain of living is so bad I can't hardly stand it.