I feel like my psychiatrist just basically ruined my life

Hello.
As you can see, I'm new here. My name is Misty, and I apologize for starting off on a depressing note, but I am really needing some support. I don't feel like anyone else I know understands. I was a university student that wanted to go into Veterinary Medicine. I am now currently taking the fall semester off because I honestly don't have the motivation to do it this year, and I am seriously in debt so I am trying to make enough money to pay that off as well (or get help with it, in some way, at least). I am now 22, but had been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 15-16 years old for my anxiety problems, which had resulted in me being dx'ed with GAD, and then PTSD after a traumatic incident I endured at 16-17 years old, and then ADHD, and then Bipolar.... and of course, I've tried a lot of different medications, as you might imagine. What I was on last was an amphetamine for my ADHD, 2 benzodiazepines, a narcolepsy medication for my persistent hypersomnia, a sleeping medication, an antidepressant (Sertraline), and.. I think that's it. I was also supposed to be on Lithium, but it made me really sick so he told me I'd be fine without.. Anyhow, I am absolutely enraged with my psychiatrist, who I trusted very much up until this last appointment I had at the beginning of this month. And, I feel justifiably so, because he literally ripped me off of ALL (!!!) of my medication all at once (so, the beginning of this month..) COLD TURKEY and for no justifiable or clear reason to me. Nor does he want to even be my doctor anymore. So, as you might imagine, I am in hell right now. I am staying with my parents luckily, so I'm not homeless, but without them I honestly would be. I have absolutely no money, no job, and minuscule hope at this time. I wish it was as simple as me going out and finding a job, like my parents seem to repeatedly chime to me daily (which doesn't help whatsoever, but they do not understand my situation well enough to be expected to respond in a more logical way I suppose), but how can I work if I feel like I might die sometime soon?? Every day, when I wake up, I (deep, deep down....) wished I had passed away in my sleep, and I'm actually really sorry about how morbid that sounds, I just am being honest and trying to let out my bottled up feelings. I do not know a lot of people I can turn to in real life, because I tend to push people away when I am this stressed, and the result is never good but I don't know what to say to people anyways... I don't know anybody who deals with similar issues in real life.. Except, I have a boyfriend, and he is basically my main support, he has been through so much with me that I feel terrible about it, but he's always been reliant and strong and I am so grateful that he is there. He has ADHD and depression issues, so he can slightly relate to my feelings, and his wonderful mother (who he loves a lot, and happens to live with currently, while he/we get his/our affairs sorted and get a place) is more often than not struggling with all the medications she is on for her severe, disabling back pain and diabetes (who is also very sweet and tries to be supportive to me as well, I won't forget!), so I guess he understands enough to not be a jerk to me about it like the people I encounter sadly quite often are! He's been incredible. But now, I am feeling stuck in this dark place, and I am running out of plausible solutions quite quickly. I am terrified to even leave my house, which is a pretty big obstacle on its own when you're seeking help like I am trying to. Normally, my boyfriend would be by my side trying to help with this like the great person he is, but he can't all the time, as the poor guy works 12 hour days on night shift, and let's just say I am not very assertive ?, either, so I often do not say anything when I need help, until I am at the very bottom because I feel like I might burden someone else. And I very well already do.

Anyway, that is my spiel for today. I appreciate whoever responds to me, which I'm hoping they do, even if it's just to say something kind and positive. I hope others are doing well!! I truly do..

Wow! First I would like to welcome you to PC. Here you will find many sympathetic ears, people who understand what you are going through, and people that really want to help you even if its just having a shoulder to cry on, somewhere to vent, or positive inspiration.

I don't really feel I know you enough to help with all your issues yet but I will tell you that most of us have problems with our pdoc (psychiatrist) at one time or the other, school is a common stress point, being dx'ed different at times can be very stressful, drug changes, (I have no idea why he would want you to go cold turkey on your meds), and trouble with family or parents are all things a lot of us have to deal with on a constant basis.

At least one good thing you have going for you is your boyfriend and his mom.

Hopefully here you will find some support, I hope things start to look up a bit for you, and once again, welcome to PC!

I don't have any specific advice except to work on trying to find a new psychiatrist to help you stabalize. I had a rough weekend as well and I am slowly coming out of my slump. It's easier said than done, but things do eventually turn around when you work toward making it better. It's always darkest before the dawn. And this PC community is very supportive, so welcome!

Hi Misty,in 2013 my provider cut me off of Klonopin which I'd been taking for 30 years without a taper. I became severely sick and had to go in the hospital and I've been agoraphobic the past two years.

Do you feel like you might be better off in the hospital?

I can't believe a psychiatrist would take somone off there meds and offer them no solution this guy should be thrown in jail. It's like torture.

Maybe go to a regular doctor and describe the situation sometimes they can prescribe short term solution. Worst case senerio go to the hospital or ip.

As advised, you need a new Pdoc ( Psychiatrist) asap. If you don't feel safe you really should go the hospital. Needing to go IP ( in patient) is needed at times and you will be set up with a pdoc for an appt soon after being discharged. Often much faster than you could get an appt on your own by calling around.

Welcome to PC