[Victoria'smom]

I'm bored so I stole my son's laptop and am going to see how long I can hold a conversation. So I'm going to tell you guys about myself.

I grew up in Upstate NY with 2 sisters a dog and both parents. We were all crazy so it made for an intresting time growing up. I stopped eating at 8. My sister got Dx. bipolar when I was 13. She was 17 pregnant and had recently ran the car into the garage because she didn't wan't to do dishes. I was a cutter from the time I was 11. By 13 I was doing drugs, having sex, and petraified of the hospital. I refused to visit my sister the three months she was there because I was convinced they were tricking me to hospitalized me too. I had my first long term psychotic episode that summer. I was tested for a learning disability I was doing so bad in school by 8th grade. After scoring gifted instead I was given a school counselor.

Fast forward to 9th grade: I spent the year tardy for school daily. So I spent my year in in-school-suspension. Finally the therapist told me I'd be found dead in a ditch or on welfare with 7 kids. I didn't need meds I needed to stop being a brat she admitted she couldn't help me and past me to the social worker.

As 10th started I no longer lived at home as they wanted me to eat, I was drunk daily and sleeping around. I attended school drunk daily eventually I moved in with my grandma so I didn't have to sleep around for a place. I got surgery and moved back home, stopped drinking and doing drugs. Shortly after I OD'd.

I dropped out, big surprise. The surprise came when I tested at college level on entrance exam. To my surprise The teacher was a therapist too, great! She caught my ED within the week I couldn't cut and run this time. Between her and the drug therapist I started acting like a civilized person. They thought I was depressed. I got my GED and went straight to college.

college: I was 17, manic and in college. I found a bed buddy, and skipped classes. When I went I was so distracted I didn't understand English or stayed for 5 min before breaking something and storming out. My bed buddy found a new bed buddy with less issues. Then I met my husband we spent two weeks up just hanging out. We were both manic. He went home I went drinking on my sober campus. I ended up sleeping with a stranger, getting my RA called on me and almost kicked out of the dorms. My Drug therapist from GED saved my ***. Most of my friends were pissed. So I called my now husband. He came and stayed with me.

Life with him: I was upfront with him that I had issues and NEVER send me to the hospital no matter what. He still wanted to date me being manic the both of us we had decided to get married and have a kid within two weeks of the drinking debocal. Then I crashed. I slept through the summer semester and turned 18.

Adult me: The day I turned 18 was the day my dad filed SSI for me. We got an apartment and I yet again became manic applying for a stripper/bar tending position. He had became manic again too and was working as many shifts as they allowed. The day I was turned down for the bartender position I recieved a letter saying I got SSI. Confused I called my dad and he filled me in. I was MAD!!

Then the crash: I became pregnant and crashed my husband crashed. He lost his job. I became very sick. We spent our savings on holding things together. I spent the pregnancy vaguely psychotic and mixed. He didn't trust me alone. I stayed that way until we moved to Fl.

Flordia take 1: I started school because that's what I do when I'm manic. My husband finally crashed. I almost cheated. He couldn't trust me around my son so he moved his sister and cousin down when he found a job. I didn't have enough aid to continue school so I left. enter a couple of homeless times and my husband finally losing his job we started school again. We did well. Miguel went to daycare and was odd with children and I tried to find someone to help with my ED under threat of divorce but no one would. enter hurricane gorge destroied are apartment. Eventually we had to run home.

Ohio: So everyone thought we were just visiting on a wime we moved to Ohio. Started college there. I was very depressed after 2 weeks in bed my husband made an appointment with GP and I was put on a med lexapro. It worked except my 2 pm nap was in the middle of class. So enter effexor. I was super *****y woman! Went homicidal and went off effexor. No more AD's. Cycling like crazy. New GP looked at me asked why I wasn't on my AD and after ranting at him I don't need an AD I walked out with depakote and a BP Dx. and a script to a pdoc. Horrible pdoc, many different dx., life threatening situation, we moved to WV

WV: I stayed away from PDOC's and T's but my husband had a manic episode and had to get a release to go back. After a while I needed my own therapist to stop his from hospitalizing me. Again BP dx awesome pdoc and T.

back to fl: We had always planned to go back and the journey back was hell an awesome opportunity was ruined by psychosis. 2 hospitalizations countless med changes. We stand here in our apartment that we have kept a full year! Our son never knew we were homeless. He has his own room with his own stuff. We have an okay team of Dr.'s and therapists.

Any questions?

[wildflowerchild25]

Wow your story is amazing. You've been through so much and you're still here. I hope you can remember that in times of darkness.

[unaluna]

We need a goal. We both have been just drifting.

It is good you are in treatment now.

I hope your life improves

Thankyou for reminding me

[cmorales]

I tend to seek out education/enroll in classes when manic too. Never finished, but for some reason, it always appeals to me.

Thanks for sharing your story. It was an interesting read.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank-you guys for reading the wall of text.

[Azvixxen]

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I need a reminder that I am not the only one who has had a bad time with this crazy disease. Logically I know it's true, but this brain of mine...well...