Hopes dashed and dreams lost

I just moved to Phoenix to be with my long time boyfriend of two years. I looked on his phone tonights while he was sleeping and he had a text to someone that said, "hi cutey." I haven't asked him about it but the two of them were on a very long conversation to say the least. They talked about their interests. They talked about college, etc. It was like they were first meeting each other for the first time. And now I'm up with insomnia and it feels like everything is lost. I will have to move back to Wisconsin. I am almost out of money and I don't know what to do. And the worst thing is, I think I might be starting to have a breakdown. My parents just won't talk to me since I moved in with Chris. They will never let me stay with them again. Do I just stay in this relationship until I have a job and can support myself? He also gets very rude when he's high and acts like he's going to punch me. I am just so confused and disoriented. He's also been making me pay for everything. I had to pay for all groceries, our hotel on our vacation to san diego. I had to pay for all our meals. I think I might be in a little bit of a psychosis right now. I'm not feeling myself and I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. Any advice though would help because I can't get to sleep.

It sound like you should get out of this relationship ASAP, but first take some time to find alternate living arrangements, you don't want to be left out in the cold. When you have new living arrangements set up and are ready to move tell Chris to take a hike.

Others of course may disagree with me on this one but that's why we're, to get the various viewpoints to discuss.

I emphatically agree with Ripose. You need to make a plan to get yourself to safety. I wouldn't say anything to Chris until you have arrangements in place. Are you certain your parents won't help? It might be worth a try, especially if you tell them you are in danger or frightened he may abuse you.

Please let us know how things go....

(((((((HUG))))))))

Your parents might very well wish to help you out in this situation. If you tell them how bad things are, they will want to be there for you. Thats what parents do. Despite of everything, the welfare of their children is the most important in a parents life. Since they were strongly against your relationship, they might be more that happy to help you get out of it. I would recommend you to ask your parents to help you, and don't tell your boyfriend about what you are doing to get out of the relationship!

Call your parents and go back home. If you're still not feeling well, make an appointment with your doctor. Take care of YOU. I hope you feel better soon.

I would just leave. I'd email/call my parents and tell them that they were right...I'd see if I can find someone to help me get home and maybe a girlfriend to stay with. There are women shelters that you can go to in a pinch that don't cost anything, some will help you find a job. There are more options then the one of staying.

I say he's already cheating in his heart and that he's resentful for you to be there which only surfaces when he's high. This is abuse that you don't need.

And quit spending money on him! Tell him your broke and that he needs to start paying his own way like a real man would.

Cut your losses and get out of there hun.

(((hugs)))

If your parents won't help you, do you have any friends in the area who will, or need a roommate?

Sorry to hear things aren't working out and your boyfriend is being a jerk. I hope you're able to get out of that situation.

I can sort of relate to this situation. I moved hallway across the country to be with my boyfriend some years back as well. Things didn't work out and I eventually had to move out and make it on my own. Eventually I moved back home because I felt that I had a stronger support system here. At any rate, if you aren't on the lease, then I would start making arrangements to move out. Only you know if you want to stay there and try and make it work, or to move back home. You should have an idea financial what is realistic at this point and I would go with that. And like previously mentioned, since this didn't work out, maybe your parents might be relieved and will be willing to help you. You never know until you ask. I wish the best for you and hope it all works out.