[starshaped]

Hi everyone. I just joined this site because I am just sort of terrified I guess and don't really know who to talk to at this point. I'm 21 years old and was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 17. I'm currently taking Wellbutrin and Geodon and the meds are working pretty well, very little side effects and I probably feel as normal as I have in 5 years now. Took several tries to get the right balance of meds that seemed to work for me. Anyway, I recently found out that I'm pregnant, unexpectedly. Yes, I was actively trying to prevent pregnancy especially given my current situation and the meds that I'm on. In fact, I have been questioning whether I ever would have children, in large part due to my bipolar disorder. Anyway, my boyfriend (that father of the baby) also has bipolar. I suppose it's one thing that sort of drew us together because we could open up about it unlike with people who are not affected. Our relationship is pretty stable right now because we are both fairly stable right now. But I am so scared to have a baby. We have been together for about 2 years and have talked about getting married after college and we have also talked about not having kids because of our issues. I don't want anyone to think that I believe people with bipolar should not have children. I am just worried that since we both have it, the chances will be very high that we could pass BD or some other closely association condition on to our kid.

I'm also really worried that I will haveto go off my meds. I haven't been to the doctor yet and I have not talked to my psychiatrist about this. I found out about the pregnancy (confirmed what I already highly suspected) about a week ago. I know I obviously have to speak to the professionals, but a lot of what I'm finding online says most of the meds aren't safe. I've finally found a combo and amount that works for me and I don't know how I can deal with not being on meds or having to find something else that is safer knowing how many failed experiments I've gone through in the past as far as meds.

I don't even know why I'm posting this, but I guess I'm just looking to find reassurance or honestly or somebody who has had experience with this in their own life.