So I'm starting to realise these waves of illness are just going to keep coming. Fighting them so hard is exhausting me. They will come, I will be sick for months, and they will pass. I need to accept that instead of thinking I can fight this off.

Acceptance I guess.

I am going through a lot of saddness that this is my life. Self pity?

[vjdragonfly]

It is hard fighting through the ongoing mood swings. It is just part of our lives and acceptance is a small step forward. Medication and therapy can lead down the road to less fights. Just always remember that no matter where you are at, you can pull, it is only temporary (unless you level out, hopefully it long term). Sorry you are having such a hard time.

I feel more positive now. Had a little cry and felt relief for the first time in a long time. Usually when I cry it is hopeless, no end in sight. Where as today I had my moment of saddness but felt a load off.

I do feel this is a big step forward.

[dontevenknow]

Wow, I am struggling with the same thing! It is really tough. I am glad to hear you are feeling more positive though!
The same issues keep recurring for me. They pass in waves like you said. Even though they will end the prospect of them continually coming back is difficult for me to accept.

I am just at a loss as to what to do. It feels out of my control (which is horrible for a control freak). No one else seems to have a solution either (doctors, therapists) which doesn't help my optimism.

It is much easier to have a positive outlook when you are feeling well rather than when you're feeling poor.
Let me know if anyone has any suggestions!