[Moreta]

I'm relatively stable, but I still have moments where I just lose it. I feel worthless and that I will never get better. It usually happens if I do too much during the day. Like I want to do things and have a normal life, but if I do more than 2 things a day, I lose it. I want to have more of a social life and I want to be able to be a good wife for my husband.

Currently, I'm taking my meds, exercising, journaling, meditating, and not eating gluten. Also when I do have flip outs I text the crisis line and my husband talks to me and lays with me until it passes.

I start back seeing my DBT therapist next wednesday, so maybe that will help more.

Is there anything I'm missing that will help? I don't want to mess with my meds, cause they work 90% of the time, it's just that 10% that bothers me. Will this go on forever and continue to get worse as I get older? I'm really sick of it.

[Mountainbard]

Are you pushing yourself too hard? If two things a day is what you can do without flipping out, then two things a day it is. In time you can try three and see how that goes. Another thing that comes to mind is that maybe you need a med adjustment. Anyway I hope the DBT is helpful. Remember to be gentle with yourself.

It's great that you are stabile 90% of the time hun. Have you tried naming your triggers? Try keeping a journal and maybe you'll see a pattern.

Yes, I wouldn't be messing with my meds either. It's so awesome that you have such a supportive hubby.

I think knowing that one is bipolar is a trigger in itself. It used to mess me up and stress me out over doing something. Today though, I just pop a few pills and go and do my day not thinking about the bp aspect. I found that it's less stressful that way. Whatever happens happens.

Maybe you just need a med adjustment or something. I'd be telling my pdoc and see what they have to say.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Moreta

Is there anything I'm missing that will help? I don't want to mess with my meds, cause they work 90% of the time, it's just that 10% that bothers me. Will this go on forever and continue to get worse as I get older? I'm really sick of it.

Moreta, after a couple of years of being "relatively stable," I decided to go ahead and tweak my meds. I got tired of only being able to do one or two things a day. After discussing things with my pdoc, we started with tiny tweaks and did this over four or five months of time.

What we did was reduce my Topamax and add l-methyl-folate, then tweaked my antidepressant. This combination of things has caused me to, most days, manage to be active most days -- not all, but most.

So you see, it might just take a tiny tweak and not a major issue or change. It might be worth a discussion with your pdoc if you're not happy.... or your DBT might be enough. This is the kind of decision that is very personal.

[Moreta]

I am so afraid of messing with my drugs. I'm maxed out on almost all of them, so there's not much tweaking that can be done. I would like to switch to nuvigil but my damn insurance won't approve it. Maybe I can as my dr to give me more provigil or lower my dose of geodon in the morning. I get frustrated being tired during the day.

I have hobbies so it's not like I sit around doing nothing all day. Some days I don't do anything though. I also get a lot out of helping people so I spend some of the day doing that here on chat. I also tutor my friend a couple times a week.

Maybe my t can help me figure out what's missing in my life. My home life is calm since seeing a marriage counselor and my husband is really supportive.

[99 FAIRIES]

I had the same problem when I took geodon in the morning. It made me so tired. So now I just take my full dose at night. My pdoc was fine with it.

[Moreta]

I've tried taking all my geodon at night and i end up getting withdrawals around 5:00. Does not feel good, so I need a bit of geodon in the morning. I take 80 mg in the AM and 240 mg in the PM.

Dont lose hope. Give DBT a try before the meds - sometimes something can click for us.

When you lose it - what is your crisis plan? When in hospital they put me in very hot or very cold showers when they cant stop the screaming. Shocks my body and I go into a shocklike catatonic state, then usually fall asleep from the distress. Its not pleasant but it can settle me.

Distraction is best for me in crisis. I can get through with chatting to people on forums/online and watching shows that can keep my attention.

I can only manage very little when unstable. The less I do the more stable I stay. Any activity is stress and stress is too much right now. Thats ok, my brain/body is in distress and it needs time to recover. I feel great guilt from so little activity.

[Moreta]

If I lose it during the day I just take an extra saphris, at least that's what I've been doing when the PMDD hits and I just sleep all day and all night. My other plan is texting the crisis line or calling mobile crisis here in my city. The only problem with mobile crisis is that they always want to send people out to talk to you. I also put on a show and journal. Hopefully once I get back with my t I'll be able to call her. It's not like it lasts all day, except the day before my period. I'm going on birth control to help with that situation though.

I have a busy day today, so hopefully I can keep it together.