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boydisappearing
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Default Dec 19, 2015 at 09:15 PM
  #1
I know that being sensitive to rejection tends to be more of a BPD trait than a BP trait, but I'm hesitant to post in that forum since I don't actually have BPD. I have a trait or two, but not enough for, nor do I want a diagnosis. I know some people here have both diagnoses, which is why I ask.

It happens mostly when I'm depressed. When I'm depressed, I'm super, super sensitive to rejection. Like today - a friend cancelled plans on me yesterday, and that was fine - she explained her reasons and they were valid ones that had nothing to do with me, I hope. But then I saw her today for a mutual extracurricular thing at my university, and when we said goodnight at the end of the night she was just like, well, see you after the holidays. And I don't know, I was hoping she'd want to reschedule the plans we had? For some reason my brain is latching onto the fact that she probably doesn't want to hang out with me. I've done a lot of CBT though and I know this is a thinking error. There are tons of reasons why she might not reschedule, especially since it's a holiday.

Does anyone else get super sensitive to rejection when they're depressed? How do you deal with it?

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Default Dec 19, 2015 at 09:24 PM
  #2
I am sensitive to rejection. Especially when I ask someone to watch me kids. If they say no I think it's because they don't like my kids. I know stupid bit I can't help it.

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Default Dec 19, 2015 at 09:45 PM
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I'm really sensitive to rejection too. It doesn't even have to be overt rejection. Just if i tell someone my news and they just listen silently and don't respond i still feel rejected. I don't have much of a social life so the oppotunities for rejection are minimized. I know i'd be happier if i made a Scrabble-playing friend but it seems like an unsurmountable problem at this time.

The last time i was a fool for love, three years ago, the guy said he didn't want to know me and i shaved my head. It looked AWFUL for months. Romance is beyond me. The two times i have fallen in love have been the happiest times of my life but they both ended in rejection and acute pain. I'm 49 and i've accepted that part of my life is over. It's for the best.
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Default Dec 20, 2015 at 08:32 AM
  #4
I can be super sensitive to rejection, but I try really hard to not let it show. Rejection almost automatically makes me hate myself more. I would agree that it's worse when I'm depressed.
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Default Dec 20, 2015 at 10:33 AM
  #5
Rejection sucks. It's taken years of drinking over it to soften its blow. Some rejection bothers me today, but not as much.

I avoid situations that opens the door to rejection because I can't handle it, like dating. I've dated a stranger twice in my life. Everyone else has been someone that I have known for awhile where we just have sex and shack up.

I've realized the difference of rejecting the idea over rejecting me. Rejecting me hurts. Rejecting the idea just pisses me off because I have great ideas!
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Default Dec 20, 2015 at 10:53 AM
  #6
Sensitive subject for me.

I think fear of rejection has a lot to do with me not having a single real intimate-relationship beyond sexual contact.
Generally I'm okay with rejection but when it comes to Romantic relationships, I don't even think about dating - it's been that way for so long... I've dated this girl last year and eventually she just wasn't attracted to me so yeah.. I kinda gave up ~ I find myself channeling all my energies towards thousands of different directions so it turns out I barely even think about that.

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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 01:36 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by boydisappearing View Post
I know that being sensitive to rejection tends to be more of a BPD trait than a BP trait, but I'm hesitant to post in that forum since I don't actually have BPD.
I remember somewhere reading a chart showing symptoms/characteristics of BP and of BPD. It listed fear of abandonment under BPD. Under BP it said something like high sensitivity to rejection. Though some may see those as the same, I don't. And I think it is an accurate assessment. It's true for me anyway.

People fall away all the time. Whatever. But rejection... To me that is something more day-to-day. Being regularly negated, dismissed, talked over like I'm not even there can really get me down. There is a feeling of not mattering, invisibility, and just plain that I've got no business participating. The outsider who just doesn't fit in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boydisappearing View Post
It happens mostly when I'm depressed. When I'm depressed, I'm super, super sensitive to rejection.
Does anyone else get super sensitive to rejection when they're depressed? How do you deal with it?
And yes, when depressed, more negatively affected by it, because it only reverberates and "confirms" the validity of all the negative talk already in my head.

What to do? Actually, this happens to me a LOT at work. I try to remind myself that it is often a manifestation of their own issues (such as need to assert their superiority by putting others down to protect their tiny kingdoms and maintain their position in the social jungle) and really isn't about me.

So I tend to just basically keep thoughts to myself so as not to invite it. I can't change them. They actually lose out on a lot of good ideas. Oh well.

In other instances it has been more of an exclusionary thing-- the others clustering up, making social plans, gossip and jibber-jabber. I realized their activities were not of interest to me anyway (bar room and relationship drama, shopping etc.). So really the rejection was a blessing in disguise. Better to be myself than to be miserable trying to fit in.
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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 02:07 PM
  #8
TOTALLY relate to this. I'm diagnosed BP as well as BPD (by some docs), but even before BPD turned from just traits into a real diagnosis, I was sensitive to rejection. Friendswood cancel on me or change our plans in a way that seemed malicious, I would get very upset. This was me just being irrational because I know that they did not mean any harm but in my head I was able to twist the facts so it seemed like I was a victim.
I as well can have a hard time with criticism, even if it's just constructive and as well not malicious at all. My emotions seem to just be intense, therefore I react intensely. Though some doctors think that I have BPD and have diagnosed me with it, I don't really think that I completely fit it because I'm not an impulsive person and therefore I don't get criticized very much. That's why I think I'm so sensitive to it as I'm not used to actually being criticized.
I hope I was able to help at least a little bit! You don't have to be BPD to have intense emotions - bipolar can too.

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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 02:14 PM
  #9
Im bipolar 1 and im sensitive to rejection too especially when I am depressed. Even when my friends dont send me msg via whatsapp frequeny extra sensitive to rejection?That could be a covert narcissist trait (hypervigilance). I feel rejected but I try not to act out. But when I was manic with pressured speech, when my wife looked a moment away I interpret that as she doesnt listen to me and I got furious.

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Dx: Mix anhedonia with Bipolar II. Add some insomnia and chronic stress. Season with paroxetine and a pinch of ADD. Stir well to induce a couple of hypo/manic episodes. After the excess of energy is gone, remove the Paroxetine and serve chilled with some C-PTSD and GAD. Ready is your MDD.

Mx: To clean up the mess use lamotrigine, r
isperidon, mirtazapine and sertraline. Let it soak in for a while but keep a close eye on it. Meanwhile enjoy your desert of oxazepam/temazepam prn.
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