Contemplating Life

So it's the new year and I want to do something with my life this year. I think the most important thing for me to do this year is to focus on my health and lower my cholesterol and lose weight. I also need to work on getting my back back in shape. I have no back pain right now, but I want to be able to walk more than 15 mins, so hopefully I can do the AFSP walk for suicide prevention in October and that is 3 miles. I think it's doable, I just really need to get back into the gym and work on my back muscles. I will not do the treadmill though because my leg goes numb, but I think every other day I will try to walk the path that is downtown for a while, and work up to 3 miles.

I also want to work more with my t and shaman and really dig into DBT stuff. I have the DBT for Bipolar book and with the stuff I've read, it has really helped. She said she would work more with me this year, I just need to come up with the money since she doesn't take insurance and it costs $100 per session.

I would like to lower my meds some more too. It's really scary to think about, but I don't see my pdoc until April, so if I'm still stable in April, I think I'll be ready. Just want to lower the geodon a bit more. Last time I tried though I got horrible anxiety, so I'm a bit apprehensive, but hopefully I'll be doing good then.

The final thing I want to do depends on if I get SSDI in the next few months, if I don't I can't do it, because you can't work while waiting for disability. I would really like to take a peer support specialist class. My final goal is to become a therapist, but I think this would be a good way to see if I really want to work with people with MI. I can't take the class until July because you have to be out of the hospital for a year. I have learned a great deal from therapy over the years, and I just want to share it with people so maybe they'd feel better. It's part of the reason why I do the bipolar support chat. I just don't know what it would be like working with a person irl.

So that's my plan for 2016. I hope I stay stable so I can reach all my goals.

Those are some nice goals .. it's lovely how you covered many aspects of life within your goals .. like improving your mental health as well as your physical one .. wish you all the best Mo ! I am sure you'll be able to achieve them all ! *hugs*

Mo, I have found that swimming really helps my back pain

good luck with your goals I plan on going back to school and working part time!

Thinking more about it, I really need a purpose in life. I don't really have much going on right now. Just my etsy shop, which I haven't even posted stuff in like a month. I feel stable, but I'm acting like I'm depressed. Is it just a learned habit? Once you experience it for a long time, you still can't get out of your rut? I'm going to make a routine to do things during the day, besides sit in this chair and go out and smoke. I need to get back to my hobbies. Hell, maybe I should start coloring everyday. I do have adult coloring books. I also need to get back to my meditation in the AM. Start cleaning too. Maybe later today I'll work on a schedule.

Why not find a therapist who takes insurance? $100 per visit is a lot of money to pay out of pocket.

I have the DVDs for "What the Bleep" and learn something new every time I watch.
I also have a my spiritual goal to spend more time in gratitude and prayer. Good luck!

Very interesting to read and inspiring. Thanks and keep it up.

Mo I think as you work to improve all aspects of your health a purpose may well emerge-- and you'll be healthy enough to pursue it!

This is the only t that I have worked with that gets me. She knows exactly what to say to me and I have had my mind blown quite a few times.

This morning I woke up and felt overwhelmed by these goals, so I texted my t to call me, which by that time the feeling had passed, but I was telling her about them and she pointed out that I'm already working on most of them and have been for a while. idk why it seemed too much this morning, but these are achievable goals. Plus I have the whole year to work on them. It's not like they all need to be done next week.