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#1
Feb 12, 2016, 11:07 PM
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I had my second ECT treatment in the series today. I have four more; then we will reevaluate. I'm hopeful that it won't take me as many to get through this time. I'm already feeling better. I'm still down but no intrusive self harm/suicidal thoughts since Tuesday. I think I might even take a shower tomorrow. I'm taking my son for a play date and I'm not completely dreading it. My mom has been a monumental help, she's been taking off work to take me to my treatments and taking care of my son so I can sleep off the anesthesia. I don't know where I would be without her. I think I might actually attempt to go to the gym next week too. I really feel a lot better and unfortunately it's hard to tell if it's just a normal upswing. If it's my regular bipolar cycle I could be back to depressed in two weeks. But I hope this is more sustainable. I'm still trying to convince my pnurse to let me try emsam. She says she needs to talk to a pharmacist to find out if it interacts with Invega before she agrees. I'm going to keep pushing for it.
If I am feeling better, I will be so proud of myself for getting through this crisis without inpatient. I am so thankful my pnurse and therapist in the partial program had enough faith in me to allow me to go home, and I'm so thankful I had enough faith in myself to resist the negative thoughts. I felt like I had to do it for my son. I'm sure I'll be inpatient again at some point in my life but if I can make it a whole year, that will be a vast improvement over the past few years. So I'm hoping this depression is finally abating and I can just...live. And WANT to live. That would be such a nice change.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 Anonymous45023, cmc3663, gina_re, kindachaotic, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom, Wanderlust90
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 gina_re, Victoria'smom, Wanderlust90
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#2
Feb 12, 2016, 11:21 PM
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Yea!
 So glad for you that it is helping!
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#3
Feb 12, 2016, 11:22 PM
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I'm so happy you're finally starting to feel some relief! I hope it continues for you.
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#4
Feb 13, 2016, 05:16 PM
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So excited for you, lady! Love you!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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