[dreamrunner]

After a year of journaling and seeing a T...after months of searching Im starting to believe that I may be bipolar.
My brother was diagnosed with bp,my daughter diagnosed at 18 with type two.
I finally see a pdoc this thurs.My T suggested a number of things to be prepared for.This intailed a list of meds and doses as well as important symptoms that might aid a diagnosis.
What Im hoping is some feedback of the following symptoms......does anyone else who is diagnosed with bp have a simular pattern or is it cycle?
HERE GOES
Energy(tackle chores with vigor...production etc.)
Pace,constant thought process(mostly replay week,the past over and over)
Have a hard time being understood in conversation(my husband cant undertand me)
Easily distracted,forgetful,tune others out(my mind is churning)
irritable
This lasts only a handful of days....some days more unstable then others....Then.....
shaking hands,grinding teeth,intense anxiety....cant stand it ....leading to....self harm,alcohol and substance abuse and suicidal ideation
This state is always followed by

Deep depression,sui ideation,self harm,feelings of extreme dispair and hopelessness......no energy,minimal functioning at home and at work(I have had to take sick days,depression is so bad) oversleep and isolate myself...get extremly quiet.....always lose weight.....depression can last weeks.....average is 3....its lasted months as well.

Id appreciate any input you can offer.
THANKS

[Direction]

Energy(tackle chores with vigor...production etc.) //// yes

Pace,constant thought process(mostly replay week,the past over and over) //// no, my mind has racing thoughts generally don't reply to much

Have a hard time being understood in conversation(my husband cant undertand me) /// yes

Easily distracted,forgetful,tune others out(my mind is churning) //// yes

irritable //// yes

This lasts only a handful of days....some days more unstable then others //// yes I'm a rapid cycler and have mixed states.

....Then.....shaking hands,grinding teeth, /// no

intense anxiety....cant stand it ....leading to....self harm,alcohol and substance abuse and suicidal ideation //// yes accept substance abuse...well my meds

This state is always followed by Deep depression,sui ideation,self harm,feelings of extreme dispair and hopelessness......no energy,minimal functioning at home and at work(I have had to take sick days,depression is so bad) oversleep and isolate myself...get extremly quiet..... //// yes to all sometimes in same day as the above stuff (rapid cycling) and sometimes even at the same time (mixed)

always lose weight //// usually eat just one meal...however one meal is unhealthy so my weight is pretty stable

.....depression can last weeks.....average is 3....its lasted months as well. /// in the past yes...as I wasn't dx until 2-3 months ago...it gradually got worse ... Rapid and Mixed...I think the one med is starting to help... that we just added, bumped it up yesterday Friday...

[dreamrunner]

Thanks Direction

[onyx69000]

yes to most of what i've read i am bipolar with ADD. that could acount for the loss of train of thought. yes to substance abuse. very common for me when i'm manic. i self isolate when i'm very depressed. feel free to pm me if you ever just want to talk.-onyx

[Nellie]

Your symptoms seem pretty textbook to me.

The only thing that strikes me as being different from "textbook" is the length of your hypomanic episodes. You said only a handful of days...I believe that the "official" diagnosis requires you to have these symptoms for about a week? I'm not entirely sure though, everyone feel free to correct me on that.

As far as what to expect. At least you had some warning. I walked into a pdoc's office one day for depression, and after three weeks of antidepressants, I was told that I'm bipolar, which was a huge surprise to me. I'd known bipolar people and I didn't think that I was anything like them.

As far as meds go, sometimes they suck, and sometimes they're wonderful. Hopefully you and your psychiatrist will have good communication so that this will not be too much of an issue for you. Medication has basically saved my life, and even though it has been a rough journey, I don't regret taking them one bit. You will probably be advised to make some lifestyle changes as well, in order to control the frequency and severity of your episodes. I was also recommended to a therapist, but you already have one so that's not an issue.

Good luck with everything.

[Nellie]

Hi onyx,
This is unrelated to the OP but I was curious about your experience with having both BP and ADD. More and more I'm beginning to think that I have adult ADD (for many different reasons -- I also had some symptoms during childhood but I was always "functional"), but I'm not sure how they diagnose that together. I've been trying to look up some info online but it all seems like the usual vaguery that is medical information online. Thanks!
Nellie

[dreamrunner]

Onyx&Nellie
Onyx
A handful of days may not be entirely accurate....I havent really kept an exact record of "swings".

My younger brother and daughter both BP,yet I didnt feel that I had inherited it.
Had traumatic exp Jan/06 and it was downhill from there.

Both my brother and I had the same abisive upbringing,my daughter didnt....interesting heridity and bp seems to be a roll of the dice.

Pdoc tomorrow ,I so nervous about revealing suicidal ideation and substance abuse.My brother was hospitalized for long periods of time......scares me.
Hurt my knee yesterday,crutches,knee brace yadayada....Have to make long drive to see pdoc eeeeoowww....braking hurts....
Thanks again ......keep ya posted

[Nellie]

Hi dreamrunner,

Good luck with the doc today. My only advice is to not be afraid to tell him or her about any suicidal thoughts or substance abuse. They won't hospitalize you solely on that basis. The more you tell the doctor, the more he or she can help you.