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#1
Feb 04, 2016, 07:09 AM
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Uggghhh for the third night in a row I been wakin up at 230am, then it was at 430am n now 230am. They gave me 2 ambiens last night for sleep n anxiety med n I fell asleep ok actually pretty damn fast I was out by 9. I hate dependin on meds so much just to function im obviously ****ed up n broken. Im hopin these guys fix me n put me back together. Cuz I cant live like this forever. I hate my life since my dad molested me at 4 yrs old I didnt even get a chance at a normal life. Watchin das beat mom n strangle her with phone cords it was bad. Then I get date raped at 17 when I was a virgin. I dont trust men at all but want a relationship but im not fully committed cuz I feel all the guys want is sex n nothin more. Anyway just killin time til this ambien kicks in. Tomoro is group at 9 so gotta b up at 8. Not lookin forward to group cuz I prob cry infront of people I dont know. They gonna judge me. Ok hope this puts me to sleep. Ttyl
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 raspberrytorte
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#2
Feb 04, 2016, 07:49 AM
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I'm so sorry about all that. Hope u find relief and help in the hospital
   Just a friendly FYI....I would put the talk about csa in a trigger box Good luck 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
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#3
Feb 04, 2016, 08:04 AM
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Hope you get on a good med combo. Taking meds is NOT a sign of weakness. It's sometimes a sign that you and your Pdocs are intelligent and know you will live a better life when the chemistry in the brain is balanced.
__________________
 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#4
Feb 04, 2016, 08:43 AM
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ARe you free to walk about at night? Doing somay also lead to the opportunity to have a one on one with a nurse in a way that is quiet and lacks the stress of others being around you. This could be a great time to discuss with a nurse your anxieties about group.
Is it fair to say you experience some 'performance anxiety' regarding group participation? It may be helpful to realise that the others in the group are painfully experiencing the same nervousness. Know to that there is no right or wrong way to perform at group |
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#5
Feb 04, 2016, 09:08 AM
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I always have trouble sleeping in the hospital (except last time because they changed me from my usual Seroquel XR to immediate release Seroquel and that put me to sleep fast for 2 nights and then they were increasing my sedation a lot and that made me sleep half the day too). Make sure your pdoc knows and keep asking until they find something that helps. It does get easier as you get used to being there.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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