[dmn_19]

I am diagnosed bp1 rapid cycling. I currently am taking Welbutrin, topomax and headache for sleep. I really like the welbutrin better than most that I have been on because it doesn't have as much weight gain as the rest of them do. But I still find myself struggling to take them all the time, especially when I start getting really stressed or if I find myself sliding into a depression. I try to tell myself that I won't do it again, but I always end up doing it. When I was on Lithium that was the best one and I felt so good but I was gaining weight so fast. I tried it again recently ad got toxic on it. It seems like I just can't win. Sometimes I hate being bipolar. Until im manic then I love it.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hi Dmn. Yes. Bipolar is a crazy disorder.
But I'm grateful I can walk. Happy I can see. Lucky I can eat.

So count what you have, not what you don't have. You'll be happier.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by dmn_19

I am diagnosed bp1 rapid cycling. I currently am taking Welbutrin, topomax and headache for sleep. I really like the welbutrin better than most that I have been on because it doesn't have as much weight gain as the rest of them do. But I still find myself struggling to take them all the time, especially when I start getting really stressed or if I find myself sliding into a depression. I try to tell myself that I won't do it again, but I always end up doing it. When I was on Lithium that was the best one and I felt so good but I was gaining weight so fast. I tried it again recently ad got toxic on it. It seems like I just can't win. Sometimes I hate being bipolar. Until im manic then I love it.

Have you ever tried an atypical antipsychotic? Or another anticonvulsant (e.g. valproate or lamotrigine)?

An antidepressant may not be such a good idea when rapid cycling. One possible cause for that is that it may make your stress response more sudden/erratic. What's more, it is not uncommon for Topamax to induce depression. Albeit an anticonvulsant, it is also not indicated for BP.

How often do you have headaches? Can you function without meds for them?

How rapid do you rapid cycle? There is no discontinuity between BP with specifier cycling and BP without that specifier. In other words, the cut-off point of four episodes per year is purely arbitrary.

If there are considerably more cycles in a year than 2 (and all are sufficiently severe to make functioning difficult), your biggest problem is probably anxiety, not BP. Notwithstanding, the anxiety could be because of the mood swings. However, the issue would then still be how you react to your BP and not the BP itself. Try to accept your mood swings as they are and try not to be afraid of polarity switches. It is a bit like surfing or sailing; just try to adapt to the waves.

You can bring the amount of cycles down. And if you have, you might use meds to limit possible escalations of your mood swings. The rule there is to find excitement, a healthy change of your routine when you're "down" and the opposite (not too much excitement or stress, strict routines) when you're up.

In my experience, 4 episodes is not necessarily a bad thing (it is quite moderate), especially if it is quite regular. It can be controlled by keeping yourself away from too much excitement or stress, possibly together with an antimanic anticonvulsant (since you got lithium toxicity). valproate/Depakote may help.

If your stress or anxiety is (partly) based on (even only mild) delusional thinking or hallucinations, I would suggest you try an atypical antipsychotic (e.g. quetiapine or olanzapine; atypicals are likely to also help with your depression).

[1278]

I know the feeling, I also rapidly cycle and its really just hell.