[Icare dixit]

Do you ever feel stigmatised, if so, overtly and/or covertly, explicitly and/or implicitly?

My world is filled with covert stigmatisation (except among friends; they all stray from the common path sometimes; we're all generally nuts; few exceptions).
Except when stable/hypomanic (can't tell the difference with all these antipsychotics): charisma!

Overtly, when I advise my "mild"-BP (as in II; depression is severe but mostly clouded by somatisation) mum to finally seek the right treatment: "I'm not crazy, you are!". Though she doesn't really use the word "crazy", it's sure sounds like it.

Then there is the stuff on the news. Doesn't help that SZA sounds exactly like SZ to most and there is always a schizophrenia witch hunt going on. Feel ashamed to tell it is another disorder, out of solidarity. Just call it all mood flippin' psychotic, already!



Or my psychiatrist (bless her) who says: "That's just not normal" (I know I am not, and, as you as clinicians all assume, will never be, really. Deal with it! I like being me).

[1278]

Yep, I've been 'exorcised' many time because I've been told I wasn't bipolar, someone in my family was jealous and put a spell on me. My aunts told me not to take my medication because, "They will just make you more sick". I had a leading cardiologist tell me "All these damn psychiatrists diagnose young, intelligent students with bipolar and pump them full of medication but nothing is actually wrong". So yeah, I've been there, I will never disclose my illness, even to my university because I know I will be discriminated against and could actually lose my job someday.

[Ocean Swimmer]

The worst is ip. Get treated like second class. But they take our money!!

[BlueInanna]

What is hard to see or hear are comments from people who don't have a clue there's a bipolar in the room. They were talking about someone they know "he went all bipolar!" or "don't listen to a bipolar person!" Those are some I've heard recently.

I have a girlfriend who I've told about the bipolar. Once I had been out of the scene for awhile, depressed maybe. She meant no harm but asked me, "so are you in the manic phase now since you're out & about?". She is a very intelligent lady, but thought that bipolar people are only either up or down. I guess it made me feel bad because I know my episodes - that during those I'm ill - not all the time.

It's an episodic thing, I have periods of time where I am fine. And most people have no clue I have this. I think about someday announcing it to people, because the more of us who come out - who look ok on the outside, then people will be more accepting. But I'm certainly not about to become the bp poster child.

[DesigningWoman]

How odd your pdoc said you weren't normal. My therapist says everyone is messed up, herself included. She definitely anti the normal label.
J has been counseling for 27 years now, thousands of clients, inpatient, ran a large inner city addiction program, and now in private practice. She says she has seen so many people from all levels of society, backgrounds, etc. that after awhile you realize it's really everybody. Everyone is not normal. Everyone has pain and shame. Everyone has disease, fears, secrets, toxicity. Etc. everyone will die and lose others to death. it scares us all.
I was once in a not normal rant and how sick I was and I was the only one. J asked me why the lobby was full of clients and there is a waiting list every day of people trying to get in or start as new patients.also how many more must there be all over and the many more who aren't seeking help right now. Good point.
I have a friend who is a pastor she worked at a giant rehab/addiction facility for awhile in Washington DC hearing confessions. Eight hours a day people caught in various addictions would confess to her their sins and receive absolution. She said after awhile the whole idea of levels or badness of acts and thoughts washed away. Each were just people, like all other people, with burdens, pain, and regret. If for a few minutes, they could unpack their sorrow and shame and have a reprieve, a reminder that there is love in the world and peace. They all left with a blessing. Btw the way my pastor friend, she is far from normal too.
I grew up in a very stigmatized household. It is a relief to finally have people in my life who aren't trying to be normal. They are themselves. I want to be me too.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I try to make it so there isn't stigma in my life. I don't tell anyone at work about my bipolar, so there I'm fairly safe since I'm fairly good at the whole "fake it til you make it" thing...but in terms of friends/acquaintances, everyone who reads my wall knows because I post about it on Facebook regularly -- what's going on, what it's really like, and at the end of the post I write "#stopthestigma". I've gotten absolutely no backlash from doing so, and I've now been doing it for a couple of years, so I'm going to continue to educate people, or at least try so that we don't have to deal with all the crap that comes along with what people think bipolar is.

Now I'm not saying there is no stigma...I get crap from my mom all the time who has this picture in her head of what bipolar looks like even though it looks nothing like my struggle. And I sometimes get crap from others, but because I'm so adamant about educating the masses so to speak, I let a certain amount just roll off my shoulders and hope that the person understands later on.

I've been accused of being too lazy to work and taking advantage of the social services system so I don't have to work. That's pretty overt.

[Ocean Swimmer]

My husband thinks I'm lazy too.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

My husband thinks I'm lazy too.

My parents used to think that as well, its a hard mindset to change unfortunately.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by rcat

I've been accused of being too lazy to work and taking advantage of the social services system so I don't have to work. That's pretty overt.

That makes me so sad that people say that. I know how quick it can turn and not sure how I will work if I get really bad again. Argggh people make me mad.

[Icare dixit]

BlueInanna, there are people who cycle (pretty much) continuously or they still have rather severe problems when not "up" or "down". The more towards schizophrenia in the psychotic spectrum, the more chronic the disorder is, generally. But I can relate to some people always seeing every belief you have or action you take, every joy you experience, as a symptom: can't we just be joyful or saddened or impulsive or angry, driven or hopeful, like anyone else!?

DesigningWoman, I like your post! My psychiatrist is both very much normal (as in, when taking some essential features, there are pretty much as many people expressing/having them more pronounced as there are who express/have them less pronounced). Of course, it depends what you see as essential features. I like her for that (and her being very understanding, knowledgeable). To have a reference. She doesn't have to know that I am sceptical about ever being normal or that I that I don't want to be. When she ups a dose of one of my meds, intended to make me normal, it doesn't do it in a way I see as normal, but it does make me more clearheaded: that's what she sees as normal. It just depends on what you important.

But we are all pretty all messed up, yes. Especially those so normal that they hang on to that so fiercely that they develop such neuroticism that they question everything they do and they might think they might go crazy at every setback or what they think of as indiscretions. Bottom line: if they don't have enough problems already, they invent them. Society is full of them.

University especially is full of messed up people.

I pretty much only have friends that are messed up in some way. They also pretty much all have a mostly hyperthymic temperament, so I am considered pretty normal around them, most of the time. There may be a stigma on mental illness where their parents or they themselves come from, but they are far more accepting of differences between people and people having times where they have to recharge where they will continue to support you and let you be, waiting for you at the other end, without thinking too much of it.

I can totally relate to the bits about being supposedly lazy. It has made my life extremely hard: I, like I think per se all of us, was unable to explain my emotions, thoughts and behaviour and couldn't control them, but thinking one doesn't have control is the biggest taboo in many (mostly Western) societies. It is what most people don't want to talk about, scared it will deflate their ego.

However, actually being lazy, just taking your time to rest, during depression, accepting you need to recharge, can make the worst of (steady and without severe insomnia) depressions far more mild, quite peaceful and even comfortable.

We can just as well be how others see us, if it makes life easier. Some people just have to believe everyone is always in full control.

Edit:
Same as being too lazy to learn foreign languages like everyone else, being dyslexic.
I am blessed having two native languages, I am a (psycho)linguist, but not for the world can I remember lots of (seemingly) arbitrary words.