[UpDownMiddleGround]

About a month ago, I had a PTSD episode that has knocked me off balance. I would feel ok for a little while and then find myself in this depressed state again. Darkness was beginning to overtake me. I'd sent my T a text message when it first started but then I thought that I should be able to handle myself without her help. Things just seemed to get worse. I tried to adjust my meds (without talking to my doctor) and it didn't work. I saw both my T and my pdoc yesterday. Both felt that I should have called my T for an appointment rather than waiting for my scheduled appointment. I left with a prescription for an antidepressant and follow up visits with both of them.

This morning, I woke up feeling awful. I couldn't get myself together for work. I took the Wellbutrin and called my case manager on the way to work. I ended up being late and sitting in my car not wanting to go in. I could feel the tears behind my eyes trying to push their way through. I went in and within the first 10 minutes, I was standing in front of my superior in tears. All she asked was how I was doing. . .

I really wanted to go home but I'd taken off yesterday for appointments. So I stayed and worked. I don't know when it happened but I feel better than I did this morning. I'm grateful for that. I hope I continue to get better.