[Artemis26]

Hello, this is my first post here and I was just hoping for some advice.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 a couple years ago (but I think I've had it for much longer) and I also started my PhD a year before the diagnosis. I took a break from school about a year ago and plan to go back again in August. However, in addition to the awful depression I've been dealing with for this past year and during my last semester of school, I'm really having trouble with concentration and focus. I've heard that sometimes bipolar meds, depression meds, and just the depression and bipolar itself can decrease cognitive abilities. So I was wondering what you do to counteract or help yourself in these situations. I'm really looking for advice from people having gone through or going through grad school since I think there's an awful kind of special pressure and stress that academia induces and I'd like to know how you deal with it.

Right now while I'm trying to finish my incompletes from the previous semester this brain fog, as I've heard it been called, it just incredibly debilitating. It takes me 6-8 hours just to read one heavy theory essay and I'm running out of time to get everything finished. My psychiatrist is even considering possible AD/HD - Inattentive type, so that may only further complicate things.

So what did you do to help yourself and get through your degrees? Were there any medications that really helped or didn't? I've heard lamotrigine/Lamitcal doesn't help with the brain fog.

Please and thank you, I just really need to figure out how I'm going to get through this PhD.

[BipolaRNurse]

First of all, congratulations on going for your PhD! That's amazing! Many of us here are high-functioning, and your accomplishments make you one of them. Give yourself credit for all you've done thus far. You deserve it!

As an associate degree nurse, I can't advise you on how to proceed with your degree, but brain fog is very common in bipolar disorder. I think it's often a combination of episodes and the meds used to treat them that lead to fuzzy thinking. I had to give up my career because of it. And you're right, Lamictal is one of the major contributors. However, I also agree with your pdoc, you might have ADHD or adult ADD, and there are meds that work well to control that.

Wishing you the very best as you pursue your goals.

[pirilin]

Welcome to the forum.

Welcome to PC Forums, congratulations on your PHD... and now (((hugs))) and wishing you well in the next decision process you decide to accomplish. tc

[Icare dixit]

I would also recommend taking an psychostimulant to focus, but with a mood stabiliser and/or antipsychotic. Can't you read articles/essays because you have association/flight-of-idea problems or depression?

If you know you won't become full manic (I guess you should be able to tell by now, having been an undergrad) and are depressed right now, I would suggest just to try to take as much psychostimulants as necessary. Start with enough coffee or black tea and maybe add focusing/ADHD meds. I wouldn't suggest antidepressants, unless you really waste too much time in bed or on the sofa (not reading) without them.

When doing a PhD (haven't done one myself but I work at a university (not staff, just my own business) and have many friends currently doing their PhD), try to follow a very strict routine (alternating reading, writing and maybe, if it's part of what you do, experiment design and execution), I would join or start a group to together give presentations on what you are doing and to enjoy a—healthy and brain-supporting-large enough—meal together and/or frequent a cafe or go to some lectures just for fun, something to get your mind off things (don't be afraid of people stealing your ideas or asking difficult questions or give critique, or make sure they aren't in the group, since many like to keep things close to the chest which I don't see as healthy: it's just a thesis, a trial assessing your skills not your brilliant theories, not a magnus opus that has to be perfect for some reason), much like a conference (you have to get more used to that anyway).

So strict routine, fun and a place to express your ideas and (tentative) findings.

Of course you also need the reference manager my company makes, but I'm sure you will.

What kind of research are you doing: what field are you in? Linguists can get a coupon. Just kidding.

But other things that might be helpful do depend on whether you are doing scientific experiments or something in the Humanities (not being linguistics, in which you might do science). The friends of mine that do PhDs do thinks from research into mysticism and mania to scientific experiments and computational stuff, so I might give you advice based on how they handle things. Since intelligence is required for a PhD obviously, they are all either BP, ASD or bordering it (I am very serious about the causation. ).

Most get at least depressed, so really just talk about it with other PhD students.

I have a Master's degree and I always wanted to do a PhD, but I never pursued the doctorate route because my bipolar symptoms were too much to handle. I wasn't actually diagnosed as bipolar until *after* I finished my Master's, btw... so I didn't even know I was struggling with bipolar disorder until *after* the fact! (I think if I was able to get professional help, I probably would have gone the PhD route.)

That being said, I can offer you some *non-medical* advice that helped me get through graduate school.

1. Learn your stressors and find ways to avoid them or cope with them.
2. Develop a sleep routine. (Disrupted sleep can 100% exacerbate symptoms.)
3. DON'T fight with people, no matter how much they anger you. (I fought with so many f***ing people, including my own lab PI and research associates in my lab. It created unnecessary tensions, which added insurmountable stress, which worsened my symptoms.)
4. Make strong personal connections. You'd be surprised how much people are willing and able to help you in times of need. People are an important resource! I can't tell you how many times I was overwhelmed by my symptoms, and I was helped by other people. (I never actually told anyone I was bipolar, but I did tell them I was struggling with personal issues, and they were able to step in and help.)
5. EXERCISE. Exercise helps alleviate stress, and it's a great coping mechanism for when your mood is wonky. Since you're at a university, take advantage of intramural sports or take a physical education class. It forces you to relieve stress, and it also helps you socialize more. (Socializing can really help when you're in a bad mood and you need to open up to someone.)

[Icare dixit]

And does your supervisor know? One of my friend's supervisor was clearly ASD-like and was very supportive of students having psychiatric/psychological problems. I told him (he was also a professor of mine and we had a group helping with some PhD research) all my problems, when I had appointments with my psychiatrist and such. I imagine it can make a big difference (just have that one experience and it did), but it might not be wise to divulge too much about it to your supervisor, in your case.

But really, at university we're all mad. I'm mad. You're mad.

You must be: otherwise you wouldn't have stayed there.

Bluebicycle is right: it's unhealthy, the madness comes out (took some liberties, arguably).

It's like that one time I became psychotic together with a cat: cats really show you how mad you really are (true story, but it just had a loose association with the aforementioned loose association ).

[seoultous]

I agree with bluebicycle's advice. I would add one more dimension.

I did my PhD while being treated for bipolar. In my opinion the meds do lead to some fuzzy thinking and I had trouble reading and comprehending anything complex. I was on Depakote when I started and then was switched to lamictal. I didn't notice a difference. It took me longer to finish my dissertation but I did!

My advice is to figure out when you are most productive and do your work then. It may sound obvious but I am serious. I am most productive between 10 and 2pm. That is when I feel the most focused. Hence, I used to do most of my work during those hours. I planned my day around those 4 hours. I realize that may be a luxury or impractical but if you can adjust your schedule around your most productive times you may get some of your focus back.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by Katieissweet

You are all drug crazy,these drugs haven't even been around for fifty years and you all take them like candy,anti psychotics are known to shrink the brain.

Not if you need them or your brain will shrink more without them. Of course not too many. Maybe none. Depends.

We gave other advice, but it has to be within the parameters of an extremely stressful pursuit. That can shrink your brain. Doing something extremely dull all day may protect your brain but kill your soul.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by seoultous

I agree with bluebicycle's advice. I would add one more dimension.

I did my PhD while being treated for bipolar. In my opinion the meds do lead to some fuzzy thinking and I had trouble reading and comprehending anything complex. I was on Depakote when I started and then was switched to lamictal. I didn't notice a difference. It took me longer to finish my dissertation but I did!

My advice is to figure out when you are most productive and do your work then. It may sound obvious but I am serious. I am most productive between 10 and 2pm. That is when I feel the most focused. Hence, I used to do most of my work during those hours. I planned my day around those 4 hours. I realize that may be a luxury or impractical but if you can adjust your schedule around your most productive times you may get some of your focus back.

I was meaning to ask, what kind of research do you do?

[gina_re]

Once I went on Trileptal, I stabilized and was able to graduate, but that was just for a B.A. All those other drugs came along later for reasons that are too lengthy to explain now

[seoultous]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

I was meaning to ask, what kind of research do you do?

My PhD is in Education Administration.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by seoultous

My PhD is in Education Administration.

Interesting. Very interesting since I was manic during a university governance building occupation and two (hypo)manias earlier I was also well... trying to improve/rescue the/all university/-ies and education in general. :/ Ah well, I learned a lot.

What exactly did you investigate?

[lilypup]

I got a Masters in Ed Admin while manic. I had a 3.9 GPA. Then I did all of my doctoral work except the dissertation. Then I crashed. But it was fun while it lasted.

[Icare dixit]

Katieissweet, I didn't mean to imply you made a stupid remark or something (your post is gone or I need new glasses; didn't mean to offend, scare or anything). We are drug crazy, but more crazy without them. But seriously, you should always try to manage without them, I guess. It's just that correlation (*hint* questionnaire *hint*) doesn't mean causation.

Seriously, psychosis can lead to mistakes in rationalising where some unrelated things or things depending on an unexpected (third) thing can be seen as (causally) related (taking it very far it can become magical thinking or delusions of reference, but what you describe is not all far-fetched).

Most people that take antipsychotics have very toxic brains which consequently shrink (some areas more than others; probably for all people with BP, SZA and SZ this is more or less true, but definitely for some) and they use antipsychotics. This doesn't mean antipsychotics cause brains to shrink. It may cause some areas to shrink somewhat (more than usual: all brains shrink, antipsychotics or not) but it also protects the brain from overexcitement which is far more important. Given the pros and cons, many could benefit greatly.

Sadly, those that absolutely shouldn't make these mistakes are most vulnerable to make them: some people are really a lot better off taking antipsychotics, some aren't.

But always good to stay very critical. I sure try to be.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by lilypup

I got a Masters in Ed Admin while manic. I had a 3.9 GPA. Then I did all of my doctoral work except the dissertation. Then I crashed. But it was fun while it lasted.

Sorry to hear that.

Toxic mix of mad people. Endless phenomena, depths and associations.

Really, should be far more BP-friendly. Mania may make you feel everyone's mad, but in academia it happens to be true.

[eclogite]

Grad school SUCKS. I was diagnosed during grad school and remember working in the (chem) lab from 2-5am the first time I took Lamictal. I switched to taking it in the mornings, but man was that mad.

I really wish I had advice for you, but all I can say is that there's a whole world on the other side of grad school & bipolar! I stumbled my way through some SSRIs, Lamictal, and benzos, but it really wasn't until grad school was over (and other stuff in my life) that I was able to truly function again.

[st0psign]

I'm bipolar 1 and on my 9th year of my undergrad chemistry degree, and have about a year left. I also have ADHD and I take vyvanse for that which does help with the "brain fog" I get from my antipsychotics and the lamictal. but at 9 years in I'm not sure exactly how much it's helping. It does keep me awake and attentive during class and when I'm working at home, which I'm not when I'm only on my other meds.

[Ellie_jo]

Hey Artemis,

I think it's awesome you're going for your PhD. I failed out of grad school last year because of my symptoms and a few hospitalizations (depression related) and am trying to get back to it now. It's really hard! I don't have any advice yet but I wanted to cheer you on!