[ComfortablyNumb5]

I made another thread on here last night but it's been brought up that some of us have gotten worst as we age. That's how it is in my case at least. Years ago I could be stable on two low dose meds alone and now it's taking more complex meds at higher doses. It's frustrating!! I'm not even 30 yet and I still want to have kids of my own some day and don't want to be on psych meds when I do. I often imagine myself fat and pregnant in IP not even knowing my own name! This scares me quite a bit. I've come to terms with the fact that I may need meds the rest of my life and where I'm at right NOW, I'm not ready to be off them and the thought is terrifying to me.

So has your illness progressed as you aged?? How do you cope now compared to when you were younger?? And when on earth will they come out with a cure?(I know we can't answer that one lol)

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[lilypup]

You are 30, I am 56. Yes, it has gotten worse.
I have three healthy kids (28,25,22) and have been married 30 years.
I was off meds during my pregnancies. I did a lot of crying but no IP. I hated being pregnant but I did breastfeed for six months each baby (is that TMI?) and then went back on meds.
Being hypomanic was sort of good. I was SUPER mom. My husband picked up the slack when I was depressed.
Make sure you have a good partner if you decide to have kids.
I don't have much mania now but I do have serious depressive spells.
Hope this helped. Ask me anything else that will help.

[pirilin]

Hi Rx,
Yes. Its called kindling.

[jacky8807]

Mine did . I feel like permanent damage is done to the brain during some episodes.
Not everyone's does though from what I have heard!
I was hypo after both my sons births....you just never know what will happen!
But the hard part is continuing to take care of the children during whatever mood happens to be the front runner

Mine got worse in the 40's, but now in my 50's it is much improved. Much of that I attribute to successful therapy to deal with comorbid PTSD issues that complicated my bipolar issues and to gain a great many skills for being more proactive about prevention and early intervention on my part that thus far has helped keep my symptoms from becoming full-blown episodes of depression or hypomania.

I grew up around two women who had bipolar disorder who were much more stable in their later years, and I have a good friend who is older than me who is also more stable now than she was even a decade ago. I seem to experiencing the same thing. I wonder what the hormonal changes have to do with changes in bipolar symptoms?

[raspberrytorte]

Yeah. I've gotten worse. In all honesty the getting worse part happened after becoming a mom. It's the stress. Being a parent is the most stressful situation I've ever been in.

So, I was reading up (quickly) on what the research says about bipolar disorder in women. Most studies seem to say those transitions into perimenopause and then again into menopause seem to be a period when depressive symptoms increase. What I didn't find were many accounts of postmenopause (which is the stage I saw in my family friends with bipolar disorder). A great deal of research questioned what was really attributable to bipolar disorder and what was more a symptom of perimenopause/menopause. Saw several that said more research needed to be done -- duh. This article was interesting:

Menopause and Bipolar Disorder | PsychEducation

[eclogite]

I'm not excited to see my illness progress, but it's something I've settled into. I figure it could always be a worse illness (like Parkinsons or MS) where you see yourself deteriorate severely, so I'll take my bipolar!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Wow so many replies already lol. But yea I have two step kids and between all the stress, I can't even pull myself out of bed, work, or smile unless I'm hypo. I feel like a monster. But when I'm hypo or take my vyvanse, I can do anything! The other day I took everyone for a drive to the island to see the cool bridge and huge houses. The boys thought the Detroit river was the ocean lol. Then the next day I woke up a complete mess again. I grit my teeth the whole day and just couldn't wait for night time to take my AP and quit for the day.

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[venusss]

Mine has gotten better with getting some sense of security and purpose in my life, with eating semi right eating an d getting my spirituality straight....

never had conventional treatment either. Lately I am pretty much just using some valeriana for sleep, no other of my herbals and supplements I thought I depended on.

[fishin fool]

I am turning 53 in may and I can tell you mine has gotten worse with age.

[gina_re]

For those that say it has become worse with age, what exactly do you mean? Do the symptoms last longer? Do the symptoms become more severe? I already have a bad memory, so I'm already prepared for that to keep going downhill.

[fishin fool]

I think my symptoms became stronger, not so sure they last longer.
There were times when I was younger that I held it together for
long periods of time without meds. I cannot do that now.
My memory is getting worse but sometimes I think it's all the meds
doing that though I can't say for sure.
Sadly, whether it's the bipolar or not, I am not the man I once was.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by gina_re

For those that say it has become worse with age, what exactly do you mean? Do the symptoms last longer? Do the symptoms become more severe? I already have a bad memory, so I'm already prepared for that to keep going downhill.

I'm sure we're all different but for me I'm going through a depression that's less severe yet last longer with major anhedonia that I'm having for the first time. So different symptoms then past episodes. When I was younger I would cry for days on end and self harm very badly. The only thing keeping me from an IP stay right now is the fact that I'm not a danger to myself...for once.

[pirilin]

As we age, everything weakens. The mind included.
The triggers are the same, but we feel more and for longer.

[pirilin]

It takes longer to recuperate. Like from a fall or a wound.

Originally Posted by gina_re

For those that say it has become worse with age, what exactly do you mean? Do the symptoms last longer? Do the symptoms become more severe? I already have a bad memory, so I'm already prepared for that to keep going downhill.

My symptoms got more severe.

I started experiencing bipolar symptoms when I was 11, but I never sought treatment because my parents don't really "accept" mental illness.

My anger problems noticeably grew worse over the years. When I hit 14 years old, I threatened to stab my father and I threatened to bash him on the head with a brick. I also whipped my cell phone at his head, missed, and ended up cracking the window on our front door. (That's how hard I threw it.) And if you can imagine, my anger problems grew even WORSE over the years. By the time I was 20, I couldn't take it anymore and I finally sought help at my university, but I never went into therapy or took medication.

My anger wasn't the only thing that grew worse. I had experienced mild depression when I was 11, but it became more severe over the years. I actually wanted to commit suicide when I was doing my bachelor's degree, and I wanted to give up on everything. The only reason I didn't kill myself was because I was too scared to do it.

I don't know how my hypo/mania has changed. I never really noticed I had hypo/mania until a dr. pointed it out.

[BipolaRNurse]

Mine definitely got worse as I aged. I'm fairly stable now, but I'm also medicated to a fare-ye-well. I was diagnosed BP NOS at age 53, and bipolar 1 at 55. Before medication I was a hot mess, and had been getting progressively worse since my late 30s. I think I've pretty much always been BP but it was subthreshold for many years. It erupted in the winter of 2011-12 in the wake of an existential crisis...at first, I thought it was just an escalation of the crisis, but then my primary care doc said he thought I had something more serious than that so he referred me to a psychiatrist. And the rest, as they say, is history.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Fro me menopause has been a good thing. Much better in some wys. Having said that I have been through well over a year of hell and wound up on clozaril in the last year so obviously that did not cure everything. I cna't even tell you how menopause helped but everyone agreed it did. But the last 2 years have kind of wiped the memory of what was good out.

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm nearly 29. My symptoms started when I was 13, but a lot of that was more trauma than anything else. I had a terrible year from 18-19 where bipolar really came into play along with the trauma. I ended up having ECT and going through intensive trauma therapy (5 days a week for six months). I thought I was fired because my symptoms all but disappeared. I would still get depressed but only for a few days. I didn't recognize hypomania back then so I can't say if I got that or not. If I did it didn't bother me and only lasted a few days.

Then I decided to have a child. After he was born I was a mess, mostly because he was colicky and I had to do my student teaching and it was awful. But I still don't remember getting depressed or hypomani so I was good for about six years. When I was 25 is when my symptoms flared up again and this time they were MUCH worse. Some of the worst depression I've ever had. And I had my first full blown mania and first psychotic episode. It's been a mess ever since, with two more rounds of ECT.

But, I have learned how to manage everything much better. So even though the symptoms are worse, I'm better at handling it. I don't think I would have even had such a severe depression though if my husband hadn't died. So once again trauma comes into play.

Everything is so complicated. But I still have hope for the future.

[gina_re]

Reading some your responses, I can relate. The depression I crashed into last year was the deepest and darkest it had ever been. I'm still relatively unstable and it's frustrating me so much. So yea, each one is definitely different, but not looking forward to future episodes. Unless they're short bursts of hypomania that make me clean everything again. Ha!

[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm 29 and my illnesses have
Progressively worsened the last few years

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I've noticed you last two mention trauma and worsening symptoms. That's definitely the case for me. Right after my mom died is when it all started for me when I was 9. Then a major life change at about 16 I was first DX with major depression and anxiety. And finally BP at 18. Every change or trauma brought on a new diagnoses. And from what I know, that's often the case for schizophrenia too. A guy I know had no symptoms until his dad died in his 20s. I can definitely understand it!

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Not if I have anything to say about it. I think it's different now that I'm older. It "feels" worse because I now know what's happening a bit better. Before I didn't have to constantly worry about going up or down. I just did it. Its different knowing. Better I hope. With knowledge you can put safety measures in place. when you know better, at least you have some chance to do better. I worry it will get worse sometimes....

[gina_re]

I will say that even though it may be worse, I'm better prepared to handle it based off of previous experience. So that helps.