[cashart10]

I am married but my husband has to take the caretaker role often. If we divorce, I feel certain I won't be able to care for myself and my children. I asked my mom if I could move in with her and my dad if my husband and I divorced and she diverted my attention saying I won't have to worry about that. But seriously, I do. I know I couldn't care for me and my kids. I just want her to tell me that it will be okay BECAUSE I can move in with them. I feel so helpless.

Does anyone have any insight into this?

[gina_re]

I'm not married so I don't have any insight for you, unfortunately. But I did want to offer my support since I know you have been going through so much lately. I know life won't be roses and sunshine anytime soon, but I really hope you are able to pull through and feel better. I'm glad you're keeping in touch with us here. Please take care.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Maybe just be honest with your mom and say that you aren't planning on leaving your husband (I assume) but that you worry, rationally or not (since she'll think it is irrational probably), and you need reassurance that help would be there if needed. Just be honest that you worry and that the worry makes things worse.

It's hard to have to have that kind of conversation. I have one friend who I have mastered it with so I usually try to pretend I'm talking to him (or do talk it through with him before trying my mom/therapist/sister/whomever).

Needing reassurance is ok even if others don't see the worry the same way you do.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Good job at admitting you need help in the first place! A lot of us (myself included) are afraid to lose control or admit when we need a helping hand because one, losing control is scary and two, it may be a humiliating thing to fess up to. I feel like you and I are going through a lot of the same things right now. I'm not married but I depend on my bf for EVERYTHING right now, especially since I lost my job. We fight so much and say horrible things but at the end of the day I still know that he puts up with a lot of my crap and he's under so much stress between me and his two kids. I'm like a big child here. I'll always be appreciative know matter what outcome this relationship has. Maybe your mom is just trying to be positive for your sake so you won't stress. She probably knows you don't need anymore issues for the sake of your sanity. But from what I have learned about you, she has been quite a help in the past. I'm sure if it really came down to that road, she wouldn't leave you out in the cold. My dad is one hard a hole and all about tough love but I know he would never leave me to freeze it out in a car.

Hang in there hun. You've been through so much. Are you having another family session like your last one? Maybe bring up your concerns there or bring mom or hubby along to your next appointment. ((Hugs))

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[Nammu]

I'm sorry it's gotten so bad. How is the IOP going, helping at all? Maybe you could discuss this issue there and get some feedback if it's the illness that is creating the negative thoughts or if it's a real possibility?

I would say call and speak with a mental health professional of the possibilities of filing for you to get assisted living or help to live in an environment of such. However with it comes a cost of giving up a lot for those services. Also talk to a counselor as to what you can do to protect yourself with options now and get things set in motion and in place as you will need them (((hugs))) Blessings and tc

[Victoria'smom]

My husband is my caretaker too. I can't even drive. I'm lucky I get SSI. You should apply. We've talked in length about divorce. I would stay with my sister and he'd get the apartment with our son and dog. I'd have weekend visitation and still reside over his school stuff. I would wait at my sisters until I can get a disability apartment. I'd get a new dog to train as my assistance dog as I will need one. Our therapy center has traveling therapists. So I'd find out about that.

Can you stay in your home and he leave?