Crawling Out Of My Skin!!!!

This is NOT a good day...

Hyper-irritable, depressed. Angry as hell. Got mad at a mess my wife made, threw it across the room... Scared my Doberman. He's under the coffee table.

Seriously considering going to the ER... I've felt strange, tingly like all day... Something's up. I just hope I can sleep so it will stop for a while, but I don't have great hopes about that.

Oh, well. Mania time again, I guess. 😳😳😠

Take care...thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Thanks, lilypup... I hate mouthy-*** trashcans myself (giggle)

I feel your pain. Being there.......... It's not pretty. Take care.
Post as much as you need to.

Wish you the best I just went through it finally feeling better today.
Keep posting, it does help to talk to everyone.

If you feel that out of control and really think you need the ER then don't hesitate. Feeling like this can lead to dangerous actions. You have all our support! Hope you feel better and land safely

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Thanks to all of you for your kind words. The folks here at PC have saved me a number of times over the past ten years or so, and it is comforting to know that y'all are here. Thanks!

(Feeling a bit better now). I'll be glad to see my T on Thursday, though.

So... Today. My wife had a Xanax tucked away somewhere, so she gave it to me last night to help me sleep. And I did, for about 14 hours!!! Finally got going, trying to do housework... I got angrier and angrier, though. I have a serious issue about our home. I feel that I have no place here. I have no part of this house I can call my own. My wife keeps bringing home stuff... Furniture, leg waxers, dishes, you name it if it's cheap or free she's got to have it. The problem is that everything comes in, nothing goes out! I'm a musician, I literally have nowhere to put my equipment or guitars besides the car. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff, in the car, anyone could come up and drive off with it. I got so mad earlier today I was running around screaming and throwing things. Finally managed to calm down enough to meditate, I feel calmer now, but exhausted. I have a ton of stuff to do but I can't get up to do it... Sometimes I really hate my life, it seems really empty and pretty much useless. Nothing I do seems to make a difference. The only joy I feel is when I'm playing music. Everything else leaves me cold or angry.

I really don't want to live like this, but I don't know what I can do. Life seems completely empty and pointless. I don't think I am unsafe at the moment, but it's hard to see what the point is to continue.

I'm really at wit's end.

Hm. Sounds more like dysphoric mania since you're experiencing depression as well.

I was in this state about 2 weeks ago. Not fun. I was also in this state in February. Not fun either. (I cycle rapidly... yay! *sarcasm*)

I purposely smashed my phone into a billion pieces because I was p*ssed off at the world. Then I started kicking things and breaking things. I went on a rampage.

I can't blame you for getting mad at your wife, though. If she's bringing all sorts of junk into the house and you have no place to put *your* stuff, then that's a problem. A house is meant to be shared; it's a shared space. One person should not hog up all the space for themselves.

Sounds like you and your wife need to sit down and have a serious discussion about all the junk she brings in... but I wouldn't have that conversation now. Wait until you're stable so that you don't completely lash out at her.

Not to get off topic, but does your wife by any chance have some hoarding issues? That would really piss me off too honestly. I'm sorry the Xanax didn't help any but at least you got some sleep. A friend of mine can't take Xanax either because it makes her more on edge. Strange I know.

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Yeah, I've tried to talk to her many, many times about all this stuff, to no avail. Once the response was "oh, not this again"!!!

You know, I'm on disability for my bp. I feel bad enough about myself because of that. But having to live like this is making me feel like less than nothing. What's a shame is that in pretty much all other ways she is great, but she just seems to have a blind spot about this. I have repeatedly tried to make her understand that this makes me *even sicker* but it does no good.

But, that's really just another trigger... I go to see my T tomorrow. Those are always good, I look forward to them. I just hope that I'm not in such a good mood that I forget to talk about what's really going on with me. I'm bad about that.

Glad to hear that you are feeling a little bit better. Maybe you and your wife should sit down and talk about the triggers that are causing your anger; such as the lack of space for your things. People with anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc etc need a sanctuary (at least a small space) to go to that can help them relax and stay calm. You need this. On another note, sometimes taking a Xanax can really backfire. (I used & abused them for ten years) If I was in a good mood and happy, Xanax usually made me feel pretty damn good but as soon as the moment turned negative, I would fly into a rage. I'd fight people and act crazy...I used to call it the "ten foot tall and bulletproof syndrome" from Xanax.

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[quote=DaveyJones;4997527Hyper-irritable, depressed. Angry as hell. Got mad at a mess my wife made, threw it across the room... Scared my Doberman. He's under the coffee table.

Seriously considering going to the ER... I've felt strange, tingly like all day... Something's up. I just hope I can sleep so it will stop for a while, but I don't have great hopes about that.

Oh, well. Mania time again, I guess. 😳😳😠[/quote]

I hope you get some sleep and a handle on what's bothering you. Acting out isn't the answer.