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Old Apr 19, 2016, 09:34 AM
SpasticBliss SpasticBliss is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
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Let's see, how do I condense a 40 year long roller coaster ride in a few sentences?

Growing up, as a kid, I was scared to death of myself and everyone. As a teen I went a little wild, but kept it cool. College, insanity, barely under control, self medicating, but starting to seek psychiatric help. NYC, no doctors, then came a total nervous meltdown. Stress-induced psychotic break with reality.

On the bright side of a black tornado, they finally took me seriously enough to diagnose me and treat the problem. Every feature of my personality is a hallmark trait of bipolar disorder type II.

27 years of 10 or 15 different psychiatrists giving me every medication you've ever seen on TV. People painting the walls red one minute, then running on the beach at sunset the next. Uh, no. Those medications don't work on me.

SSRIs are all like tiny hits of LSD. Tricyclics shoot me to the moon. Wellbutrin as well, but also gave me horrible anxiety. They suggested ECT, but I got too freaked out thinking about it.

So here I am today, finally stable for a few months now. Longer than maybe ever. What they were starting to think was treatment-resistant bipolar disorder simply had to be treated with very low doses of a larger quantity of much older meds, which are much more effective and have fewer side effects. They also added a stimulant.

You can get a bottle of Lithium or Xanax for a few dollars, but Zyprexa was $800/month! And a horrible drug, as far as sedation and appetite. So, I slept 10 hours a night and gained 50 pounds, but at least I wasn't paranoid. Uh, yea, screw you Eli Lilly! LOL
Hugs from:
gina_re, kindachaotic, Victoria'smom

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