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Apr 21, 2016 at 08:11 PM
#1
It's amazing how effortlessly i've given up socially. I used to try so hard. I used to race around the city to singles events trying to find a partner. I used to attend support groups and community center events to try and make friends.
I'll be 50 this year and somewhere along the line i just gave up. I have no interest in finding a partner and very little interest in friends. I attended a speaker meeting this week and i just walked out after without a word to anyone. I know people were organizing to go out because one guy said, "Let's go for brewskies." Socializing seems to revolve around alcohol and i value sobriety. I felt fine walking home by myself to my sweet little dog. Has anyone else found the pressure to be social evaporates with age? |
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 bizi
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Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Maryland
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Apr 21, 2016 at 08:18 PM
#2
I'm thirty and most social events involve alcohol. I hate it as well. I thought it would lessen as I got older. I go out to eat with friends instead of bars.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Lancaster
Posts: 36
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Apr 21, 2016 at 08:55 PM
#3
I just turned 41 and I have zero interest in making or having friends or partners. I divorced 4 years ago and haven't dated. I am content being alone. Relationships r too hard to maintain and friendships r too. Im definitely an introvert by nature but i couldn't tell you if this a healthy lifestyle or not and everyone's different.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: United States
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Apr 21, 2016 at 08:57 PM
#4
This is my fear if I get divorced...sorry I don't have anything helpful to say
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Apr 22, 2016 at 02:39 AM
#5
My husband and I have thought of joining Alcoholics Anonymous, just for their sober social events. I'd get kicked out pretty fast as I'm not exactly likeable, but it might be an option for others. Something to think about at least.
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: appalachia
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Apr 22, 2016 at 03:42 AM
#6
I have more friends now than I've ever had before. I met them through NA, AA, IOP, aftercare, hospital psyche ward, art class, writer's group, Celebrate Recovery. I make it a point to keep showing up and instead of thinking I don't want to go bc I'll get nothing out of it, I say, I will go and see what I can add to it. My life has never been better now that I'm sober. Every day something wonderful happens. I include seemingly small things in the wonderfullness.
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Magnate
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Costa Rica
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Apr 22, 2016 at 05:27 AM
#7
I'm at a time where I crave solitude.
But if I get a mixed state, I want to have friends. I know part of this feeling to isolate is bipolar in nature. But I can be alone for days,and it's ok. __________________  Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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Location: Maryland
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Apr 22, 2016 at 06:25 AM
#8
Quote:
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Grand Member
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Apr 22, 2016 at 07:44 AM
#9
Quote:
I'm in my 50s and I can't be bothered to fight through the superficiality of relationships anymore. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Lancaster
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Apr 22, 2016 at 06:36 PM
#10
Wow I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! I've never known anyone else that was like me in that respect. Probably bc they r like me! Ha! I'm not sure if I'm jaded by bad experiences or if I'm just that introverted. Either way most people don't understand so it's nice to know I'm not alone��
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bizi
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Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Lancaster
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Apr 22, 2016 at 06:37 PM
#11
Ignore that symbol. It was a phone emoji
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Apr 22, 2016 at 06:52 PM
#12
I'm 24 and I've given up.
I guess I've become complacent with having no friends (well, I technically have 1, but we rarely see each other). I used to want lots of friends, but after I was abused by 3 different sets of "friends", I've lost all desire to build new friendships. I just don't want to put up with it again. I'm fine living by myself, and I foresee myself living solo in the future. It's one of those things I've gotten used to. I don't even have friends at work. I work with a team of people in Europe and I only get to see them once a year. Plus, all the other people who I've gotten along with at work I've met at work-related events... and all those people work at an office location in North Carolina... while I work in Boston. Like a lot of you guys, I don't drink... which is a "problem" because everyone else my age drinks. It's a social thing. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2015
Location: New England
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Apr 22, 2016 at 07:00 PM
#13
I have three or four good friends. That's all I need, really, although I do still feel lonely at times. I've never been one to have dozens of friends and be very social. When my kids were young, my wife and I hung out with the parents of our children's friends. That was fun. But that network disappeared when the kids grew up, and we've had a very quiet social life ever since.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: US
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Apr 22, 2016 at 08:16 PM
#14
Well, I am 51 and was never really big social butterfly. I was always a workaholic until everything hit the fan few years back. I totally withdrew from from everyone and everything. I do find piece in my solitude and knowing myself. However, I did find myself wanting to have a close friend, a lover to snuggle up with and share life with. It took a while to get to this place with myself.
Obviously it still bothers you a bit  I say, it's ok and take your time to snuggle with your doggie.
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
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Apr 23, 2016 at 12:19 AM
#15
I am female 53 and have a few good friends. They understand my social anxiety issues, all of them have some mental health issues, so we can relate to each other.
I take that back. I have 2 new friends that I am getting closer to, eat lunch with them and a few guys at whole foods. This "lunch bunch" ate at a health food store for years until we got sick of the food and started about a year ago going to whole foods and eat off their hot food bar. I still go to the health food store 1-2 times per week. the 6-7 of us has dwindled down to 2-3 some times. The 2 women I have been trying to get to know better and are cajun women, hard to be let in. We are getting closer and I like that. I need my female friends, can't rely upon my husband to meet all of my needs. bizi |
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