[kkrrhh]

My depression typically follows patterns over a longer spell, kinda with the seasons, but I've suspected that I've had ultradian cycling going on during different spells, too. It's not as often recently, but I used to really feel like my moods moved in waves throughout the day a lot when I was younger, and when I've looked back on it I've thought it could've been ultradian cycling.
I'm going through a spell right now where it's hard to tell what symptoms are from what, and am yet again getting frustrated trying to figure out if things are coming from bipolar (never quite gotten 100% sure on the diagnosis), or if they're the type of symptoms and mood swings that can be "normal" with depression plus anxiety mixing in.

I started Wellbutrin a little under 3 weeks ago, and it's been causing some new additional weirdness (plus Buspar around a week ago, I'm basically in a hellish side effect filled fog right now). I'm thinking it could possibly be causing some sort of ultradian cycling that just stays toward the depressive side. I haven't gotten anywhere near hypomanic much during all of this, it's just kind of like I stay between depressed to average. It's reminding me a lot of what would happen during those less stable spells before, where at one point in the day I'll feel pretty depressed doom and gloom like things suck and/or just tired and blah; get myself to a point (sometimes with self talk, and sometime's it's just a sudden shift) where suddenly I see things differently and everything's ok and I can't understand how things seemed so bad before, thinking this means I'm moving past the depression and things are good from there on out, usually increased positivity (but not on a hypomanic level); back to the world ending or at least back to blah. This happens multiple times throughout the day.

The thing is, I feel like Wellbutrin side effects and such could explain this. I could totally get high anxiety, then just have it lower and calm myself down for part of the day, only to have it come back later. Wellbutrin can cause the anger and irritability I've been having a bit more of that I worry points toward things getting mixed/unstable. Wellbutrin in general is increasing my anxiety and worsening depression in a few ways, which could just be "normal" Wellbutrin things that could temporarily give me unstable moods that aren't necessarily serious. At the same time, ultradian cycling could explain part of what I've been feeling.

Another thing that adds to my confusion is that I read somewhere yesterday that Wellbutrin is actually less likely than most antidepressants to cause cycling. I've taken dexedrine on and off the past few months and it hasn't caused these problems like I'd worried (nor did short trials of Cymbalta or Pristiq), but Wellbutrin does? I'm just not sure. :/

I've been wanting to quit Lamictal due to side effects anyway (though I worry there's nothing that can replace it well enough) so I've been considering other mood stabilizers anyway. I've never wanted to go on a straight up mood stabilizer (Lamictal was for depression, but has stabilized my moods) since hypomania is rarely my problem and my diagnosis has never been completely certain. I worry that it'd just be an unnecessary med, worsen my depression, and/or numb me.
I know lamictal, lithium, and seroquel are the ones definitely helpful for depression, but I've heard of others helping depression in some cases, too. Lamictal has really been helpful in lessening extreme emotional sensitivity, and it helps my anxiety in weird ways. It seems to quiet my mind and I think it's also helped with derealization. I've never tried other mood stabilizers to know how they actually feel, so I'm hoping I can find something that can help in similar ways. I've kinda wondered if there's a "mildest" mood stabilizer, maybe? Right now I need to avoid anything that's likely to cause weight gain, and I desperately need to avoid more side effects or things with really rough starting. Lithium and seroquel are both out, for me, for various reasons.

Does anyone have any input on the cycling issue, or would anyone have any suggestions for meds that might fit?

I'm sorry if this is a bit of a long mess, like most of my threads. These new meds have my brain incredibly dysfunctional, and I'm just kind of lost.
Thanks

[Coconutzo]

I've never tried Wellbutrin so I don't have any advice on that front, but I have heard that it can "stir" people which might add to cycling. Though it sounds like you aren't swinging too hard. Just to slightly above normal? Maybe your perception is shifted because you've been depressed for so long and you are actually on your way up and out?( just a guess! I'm nowhere near qualified to make these calculations)
Also my understanding is that lamictal IS the mildest mood stabilizer

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[kkrrhh]

Thanks for the reply! I have wondered if maybe my mind's sort of getting little peaks at feeling better but struggling to stay there consistently yet, causing the mood swings. I'm also trying to decide whether some of the increased depression and anxiety I've had has been from my mind starting to wake up from this depression and really seeing where things are and how much I need to work on, or just... increased anxiety and depression, ha.

[Gabyunbound]

Do you think it's possible that because you've been so depressed, the short-lived up-swings aren't so much that as a natural part of your day where you're not depressed 24/7, but come up for air every so often?