[FeelingHopeful]

Hi everyone, I was wondering if you guys could help , I'm trying to learn about Depression/Bipolar and how people act in relationships , is it easier to tell someone you don't know than a close friend? Would you avoid getting into a relationship with a close friend that you are attracted to and have feelings for because of this issue?

[RomanJames2014]

I only want relationships when I'm full blown manic. And even then I'm hyper sexual. I avoid relationships because I wouldn't want to hurt someone or make someone else feel like they were wrong because I have a Jeckyl/Hyde complex. I don't have BPD but the bipolar definitely takes a toll on every relationship in my life. Romantic, family, friends, etc... Also because of bipolar it's hard to keep people in my life. I have hardly any friends because I'm bad at being "RomanJames2014" all of the time.

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[Th3reandback]

I think it comes down to both of the people's personalities. Patience, understanding of illness, and genuine companionship are very necessary.

I was diagnosed about a year ago, and my current girlfriend, who I had just met, was incredibly supportive. She stuck by my side through an extreme psychotic episode, including 3 months of jail time and 6 months of house arrest. I think I learned more from her about love than anybody else I've ever met, and I couldn't be more thankful.

Very ironically, she was diagnosed last month. We are both at the age that it seems to surface, and we both certainly have our individual issues. It may even be the reason our personalities work so well in the first place. She's BP2 and I'm BP1. The last 4 months or so, I've been "stable" and she has been all over the place. As short of a tolerance for irrationality and rudeness that I have, I have learned to be extremely patient with her, as she was with me (just in different ways).

The way I see it, it comes down to how hard the individuals are both willing to work. I don't think having the illness is a sole reason to avoid a serious relationship. I do think, however, many people with the illness left untreated are nowhere near stable enough on their own to try and manage the feelings of another person on a daily basis. This is just my opinion.

[FeelingHopeful]

Arr you open about it? Do you tell the other person right away or wait awhile ?

[Spaceyspace]

As with any relationship it comes down to compatibility but with the added feature that the other person has to be understanding and willing to ride the waves with you. I've been married for 7 years now, but before that I was in a long term relationship with someone, also bipolar who passed away due to suicide. We made each other worse at times to be honest.

But now with my husband, I think he is as understanding as someone who doesn't exletence what I experience can be and it's only really because he has an open mind, patience and love. He goes to some appointments with me and I've explained to him what my symptoms are like. He admits he can't trelate to it but he knows it's real for me. He doesn't see me as a mentally ill person.

When I went through my first hospitalization I had some very close friends drop me cold. Stigma is real. But if you don't put yourself out there then you're always left wondering what if.