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#1
May 28, 2016, 10:21 AM
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Hi All,
It has been a very long time since I posted. I read to see how everyone is doing, but normally my life stays boring enough that I have nothing to share. Unfortunately yesterday that changed. For the past week or so, I have been in a state of mania the likes of which I have not experienced for at least two years. Also, last week I quit taking rexulta (sp?) after trying it for a couple of weeks because it seemed to be agitating the mania. I teach and this year I have a principal who used to be my assistant principal for the past three years. It has been very obvious all year that she is not a big fan of mine, a complete change from past years with the former principal. I won't go over all of the paperwork, comments, etc. that reacted to, but the bottom line is that I was out of control during our meeting, yelling at her, ridiculing her observations compared to the assistant principal, questioning why she chose to make certain choices, etc. She stopped the meeting, yelling back and saying she would provide paperwork for her decisions, she told me that I should look for another school if I am so unhappy, and a few other things. I did apologize for some of my immature behavior, I now worry about my job and what happens going forward, and I know I would have behaved differenently had I not been manic. I am normally quiet and I steer away from any type of confrontation. Oh well, just needed to vent... For those who are still around from earlier days, HI! Bluemountains |
 apfei, gina_re, unaluna
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#2
May 28, 2016, 10:42 AM
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Hi, sorry it went so bad. Maybe look into different schools as she's really hindering you teaching.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#3
May 28, 2016, 10:49 AM
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Oh my god. I'm so having a problem similar to this right now!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#4
May 28, 2016, 11:09 AM
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I just found out that I can't edit a title, forgot to proofread that!
MM I have thought about going to another school, but my evaluation marks dropped this year on her evaluations, making me think I won't be so desirable to hire, Raspberry I am sorry you are having a similar experience-I wouldn't wish this on anyone's! Bluemountains |
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#5
May 28, 2016, 11:14 AM
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If you are talking about Rexulti, it really increased my anxiety a ton!
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
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#6
May 28, 2016, 01:45 PM
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Are you on any other meds? Do they know about your BP?
Can you just not talk at all, keep your mouth shut, during meetings without having problems afterwards or during the meeting (it might get worse if you suppress it or maybe you start to fidget too much, hyperventilate or have a panic attack, so be sure you can hold out for that long). Say halfway through the meeting you have to go to the toilet and just let it out, laugh (not audibly), walk in circles and very fast up and down a corridor (make sure nobody might see you through a classroom window of course). Then go back in. It's very good you notice these things and realise it might cost you your job. I've always been hopeless with that. I just didn't care. Possessed by mania.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#7
May 28, 2016, 02:04 PM
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I'm still here
 sorry to hear of your work struggle  Although its really nice to see you in the neighborhood.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#8
May 28, 2016, 02:07 PM
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Oh god I do this a lot when hypo and then after the fact I feel like an a hole! Yes, just keep your mouth shut. Really try and slow down your mind before you even physically open your mouth. Hope you and I can stop!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#9
May 28, 2016, 02:15 PM
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it really is horrible. I've popped off at work before while hypo and said some crazy things. Luckily I've never gotten in trouble, probably because I've managed to only say them to people who aren't easily offended. When I'm hypo, I try really hard to stay at my desk and not talk to anyone because I just don't know what I'll say, and I have zero filter.
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#10
May 28, 2016, 04:52 PM
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I lost a job due to similar circumstances. With a lot of archiving I could probably find some repeat comments on here from years back.
Hey Trippin'! My current drugs are lithium, Zoloft, and klonopin. I have been on a couple of different antipsychotic meds but I refuse to take them because they mess me up more than the help they are supposed to do. As for my principal, I only hope she doesn't hold a grudge. I apologized for my behavior yesterday so I have decided to leave it at that. I question some of her over the top behaviors, too. This is not meant to be an offensive stereotype, but the principal likes to present a tough New York exterior, this is where she is from and she will make comments about possessing this toughness. Only a very few people at work know about my diagnosis, so it is unlikely that she does. I feel that if she did she would consider this a weakness and exploit it. Yes, I will try very hard to stay quiet and wait for vacation! Bluemountains |
| Icare dixit
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#11
May 28, 2016, 07:47 PM
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Hey Blue ! Nice to see you around
I'm sorry your dealing with this mess. I hope it all evens out for you quickly.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#12
May 28, 2016, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Hopefully I am zipped up tightly now and keeping the comments inside my head! |
| ~Christina
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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