[Wander]

For the last 10 days I have been IP dealing with a mixed episode. I am not well yet and my mood is swinging wildly. Next Thursday morning I have flights booked to go to Sydney for a four day holiday with my parents. MY T is concerned it could turn out disastrous with me interstate in a bad way, away from my treatment team. I forgot to ask my psychiatrist what he thinks and hope to be able to do so today. I feel like I will be gutted if I have to cancel this trip but am also worried about being in a severe mixed episode away from home. By next week I could be fine, I could also be much worse, that is the nature of the beast. Just wanting some feedback and ideas about what to do about my (much needed) holiday. Today I am low but not too bad but last week I was almost the worst I have ever been. It terrified me (and the staff and my family). How do you predict the unpredictable?

[MobiusPsyche]

Maybe think about it like this... What's the worst that could happen if you cancel? What's the worst that could happen if you don't cancel and go ahead with the holiday?

^^ Good way of looking at it. I'm so surprised you're still struggling on the zyprexa. That knocks me right out of a mixed or manic episode. Are you out of the hospital now? And if you are are you laying off the weed? I'm in no way judging you, I live in Washington state and voted for it to be legal but I can't smoke it. Sends me straight to paranoia. My son went through a psychosis bc of it as well as some other factors. I just don't think it's a good time for you to be smoking it.

I'm really sorry you're still struggling.

[pirilin]

You're the one asking. I would definetely go. I do better outside my comfort zone.
See new things that distract me, need to be more attentive, and go with the mindset that I will have a good time.
That's me. I'm not Wander. You know her better than myself.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

Maybe think about it like this... What's the worst that could happen if you cancel? What's the worst that could happen if you don't cancel and go ahead with the holiday?

Good way of looking at it. If I cancel I lose my first holiday in 7 years. If I go I could be miserable the whole time and miss it anyway. Still I could get better and have a ball.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by rose1985

^^ Good way of looking at it. I'm so surprised you're still struggling on the zyprexa. That knocks me right out of a mixed or manic episode. Are you out of the hospital now? And if you are are you laying off the weed? I'm in no way judging you, I live in Washington state and voted for it to be legal but I can't smoke it. Sends me straight to paranoia. My son went through a psychosis bc of it as well as some other factors. I just don't think it's a good time for you to be smoking it.

I'm really sorry you're still struggling.

The doctors are amazed at my level of agitation and how much drugs I can consume before calming down. I am still in hospital but have quit the weed for good as it only makes things worse for me. Thanks for your concern.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by pirilin

You're the one asking. I would definetely go. I do better outside my comfort zone.
See new things that distract me, need to be more attentive, and go with the mindset that I will have a good time.
That's me. I'm not Wander. You know her better than myself.

Yes it could be a great distraction. I hadn't thought of it like that. Thanks!

Originally Posted by Wander

The doctors are amazed at my level of agitation and how much drugs I can consume before calming down. I am still in hospital but have quit the weed for good as it only makes things worse for me. Thanks for your concern.

I really hope you didn't feel judged. My son smoked it the other night after what he went through. He says he's only going to do it once a month. We'll see. Yeah zyprexa made me gain a lot of weight, but it's still going to be my go to med for mixed episodes. I think it's great you've decided you're done with weed. Have you ever tried grounding skills when in a mixed episode? They've helped me. I really hope you feel better soon.

[MusicLover82]

I once went on a vacation during a severe depression and did just fine, although it was hard to enjoy myself.

I tend to have increased obsessive thoughts on vacations, though. I keep my Xanax handy to help with any increased anxiety.

I personally would cancel the vacation, if you want my two cents. Best wishes for making the best decision you can.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I really hope you didn't feel judged. My son smoked it the other night after what he went through. He says he's only going to do it once a month. We'll see. Yeah zyprexa made me gain a lot of weight, but it's still going to be my go to med for mixed episodes. I think it's great you've decided you're done with weed. Have you ever tried grounding skills when in a mixed episode? They've helped me. I really hope you feel better soon.

What grounding skills are you referring to? I'd be interested in learning.

[MobiusPsyche]

I've almost gotten thrown out of places (an airport, an amusement park) because I had bizarre behavior while in a mixed episode on vacation. Fortunately my mom was with me both times and explained to them and I took a Klonopin to help me calm down. I would be afraid of something like that happening. But I would also hate to miss the first chance for a break in seven years! I hope you find peace with your decision, whatever it is.

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

What grounding skills are you referring to? I'd be interested in learning.

When I've been in mixed stated before I'll act like I'm in the hospital. I'll take zyprexa or risperdal, get out my lavender oils, put them on cotton balls, put on Sarah McLaughlin, burn candles, eat something light bc usually in a mixed state I can't eat so I'll have some toast with milk usually. If that doesn't work and I'm still crying I'll do a guided meditation. I find them on YouTube. Sometimes I just take my lavender cotton ball, lay down and set it beside me and put on different sounds. Like rain or a flute playing or soft drums or combine the sounds. I have an app for it on my kindle. It was like 99 cents. I'm not religious but I'm a little spiritual and I'll pray while I'm crying. Seems to help me... Oh and I'll do different breathing exercises too. I love my lavender, lol.

I use those as well as some other ones for my anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

[Nammu]

Are your parents a good support system? Can they help if things go south? If not, maybe you ought to reconsider.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Are your parents a good support system? Can they help if things go south? If not, maybe you ought to reconsider.

My parents are my main support. They saw my psychiatrist last week to get tips on how to help support me better. I will feel safe with them and able to communicate if I am getting overwhelmed with crowds etc (It is a Light(arts) Festival in Sydney) I am lucky this way. Today I feel ok but last week I would not have coped with the crowds, flights and other stresses that go with travelling.

As it stands today I think I will go. I just don't want to miss the light show on the Sydney Harbour. It will be amazing. I just have to hope the bipolar gods are kind to me.

[candid_spectrum]

Having just recently run into the same dilemma, I was in the middle of a mixed episode and not stable what so ever but had a trip to Bali planned with a few friends. I decided to go on the trip, against the advise of therapist and family. It was disasterious to say the least. It was such a beautiful place that I couldn't seem to enjoy. I felt incredibly isolated and guilty for not being able to enjoy my surroundings. Of course Bali is known for its debaucherous tourist atmosphere, where all of my friends seemed to be having the time of their life. I however simply could not seem to enjoy the endeavor, it was mentally exhausting and lead to a spell of depression I can't seem to shake.
I still am having difficulties getting my mood stabilized. My suggestion is that there is no harm in canceling. Sydney isn't going anywhere, and those you are going with will understand. Your stability is the most import thing.
Hope it helps! And best wishes in whatever you decide!

[Wander]

So much great advice. I think I will sit on it for a few days and see how I go. I am off to see my psychiatrist soon so he should have some sound advice too. My gut says go. But I am feeling much better today. I know it could easily turn into a train wreck if I fall down again into a mixed state. It is only 4 days too so I should be able to white knuckle it if it comes to that.

[Daonnachd]

I often do worse on holidays (vacations) because the expectations change and I have a difficult time of it. Were I in your position, I would go, but be very direct and open with my parents about what's going on.

a'best

[raspberrytorte]

If I was able to go on a vacation there's no way I wouldn't go.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Wander

My parents are my main support. They saw my psychiatrist last week to get tips on how to help support me better. I will feel safe with them and able to communicate if I am getting overwhelmed with crowds etc (It is a Light(arts) Festival in Sydney) I am lucky this way. Today I feel ok but last week I would not have coped with the crowds, flights and other stresses that go with travelling.

As it stands today I think I will go. I just don't want to miss the light show on the Sydney Harbour. It will be amazing. I just have to hope the bipolar gods are kind to me.

This sounds wonderful. By all means if the day you are to leave and things have been fairly good...go for it. Worrying about failure can cause it to happen just from the stress of the possibility so do try to keep the worry on the back burner and enjoy yourself.

[fishin fool]

I assume Sydney is a big city so there must be good facilities and hospitals if the
worst should happen and your family will be with you to help.
Obviously I can't speak to your situation but if it was me I think I would go for it.
If you were talking about camping or being out in the wilderness or country side, far
from help then I would consider not going but that doesn't seem to be the case.
If you choose to go I hope you have a wonderful time.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by fishin fool

I assume Sydney is a big city so there must be good facilities and hospitals if the
worst should happen and your family will be with you to help.
Obviously I can't speak to your situation but if it was me I think I would go for it.
If you were talking about camping or being out in the wilderness or country side, far
from help then I would consider not going but that doesn't seem to be the case.
If you choose to go I hope you have a wonderful time.

Sydney is a city of 4.4 million people so I am sure they have great hospitals should it come to that. I have a friend there who is a social worker who can guide me in the right direction. Thanks!

[Wander]

Originally Posted by vertigo

I often do worse on holidays (vacations) because the expectations change and I have a difficult time of it. Were I in your position, I would go, but be very direct and open with my parents about what's going on.

a'best

My parents are acutely aware of what is going on. They have been seeing me in hospital, my mother daily. I feel the grand distraction that holidays are will help keep me stable. But if all turns bad, I have my parents who are willing to pace each day according to what I can handle. I am very lucky that way.

[Wander]

Had another bad night last night...worried. My psychiatrist agreed it was good for me to go on holiday due to the brief duration and support I will have but I was pretty unwell last night and still feel very low so far today (it is 7am - I hardly slept). Still, I think I am going to go. I hate missing out on cool stuff due to this ****en illness.

[cincidak]

Originally Posted by Wander

Had another bad night last night...worried. My psychiatrist agreed it was good for me to go on holiday due to the brief duration and support I will have but I was pretty unwell last night and still feel very low so far today (it is 7am - I hardly slept). Still, I think I am going to go. I hate missing out on cool stuff due to this ****en illness.

I truly hope your symptoms subside. I have been following your post and been silently cheering you on. I hope you go and have a wonderful time. As others have said if it comes to it Sydney probably has very good hospital's. My prayers are with you.

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I once had a plane ticket purchased and plans made to visit my sister in another state. Of course I got into a really nasty mixed episode. I needed an AP but none had worked. So my pdoc decided to go with Seroquel with extremely slow dose increases.

I was improving but still very sick when I went. I asked my pdoc before I went if she was ok with it and she said I could always call if i was in trouble, there were hospitals in my sister's state and if an emergency happened and it was so bad it couldn't be handled where I was (my mom had promised to fly me to my pdoc if I got worse).

It went ok. I was very tired very easily but still did some touristy things with my family. I remember sleeping in the car between activities. I was glad I went, even if the day we flew home I was so grouchy that I'm pretty sure my mom was thrilled when our seats on the airplane were far apart for one leg.

On the other hand last year I missed out on 2 vacations because I didn't feel well enough. It sucked and even though I got to go on a trip last week that was amazing it still makes e sad I couldn't go last year.

This year I'm better. I made it through vacation by sticking to my home schedule. I take meds at 7:30 so at 7:30 I was in my room and reading. I took a daily nap to make up for getting up earlier than usual. I missed one or two outings but I enjoyed myself anyway.

Sorry if this is a book. I have a nasty cold and woke up needing a nebulizer treatment for asthma and I wrote while the treatment ran which probably wasn't smart.