[Gabyunbound]

Recently I've been tempted to stop one of my AP's (at least) because I miss hypomania so much and it's been 2 years since I've experienced it.

So a friend of mine told me that what I need to do is mourn the loss of those experiences and also how I was before so much medication (now with poor memory and fatigue).

Does anyone else think of this in terms of 'mourning a loss?' Do you find it helpful and therapeutic to think of it this way? Does it (or would it) help you to move on and stay on your meds?

[99fairies]

I agree with your friend. Mourn and move on... And stay on your meds!

I miss it too. But I'm staying on my meds. My hypos always end up in a bad mania or mixed state now. Just not worth it. I need to be stable and I like it. Took me years to get here though. I used to really mess with my meds. But I finally found a np that I click with and I trust. I would say don't chance it, but I understand wanting to.

[RomanJames2014]

I do. I just went through a few weeks of depression and I missed the hypo mania so much. Now I'm more hypo manic again and I'm happy but I went off my lithium and now I have to go back on it because I'm starting to maybe get a lil out of hand.

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I'm coming up on a year with no hypomania. I skipped my Spring hypomania. I miss the fun but it's hell on my $. So it's for the best. It always ends ugly anyways.

[LadyShadow]

I would mourn it and move on. I miss feeling invincible I do and if there was a way I could magically control the mania I totally would! But it always gets out of control and I land in the hospital. Stay on your meds. Stay healthy and in control.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

Recently I've been tempted to stop one of my AP's (at least) because I miss hypomania so much and it's been 2 years since I've experienced it.

So a friend of mine told me that what I need to do is mourn the loss of those experiences and also how I was before so much medication (now with poor memory and fatigue).

Does anyone else think of this in terms of 'mourning a loss?' Do you find it helpful and therapeutic to think of it this way? Does it (or would it) help you to move on and stay on your meds?

I often go through this. Hypomania feels good most of the time, especially when it is a break from depression. However, I usually end up starting to make bad decisions when I'm at that point. Then, I feel a desire to stay up rather than going to sleep, which means me only taking 50 mg of my Seroquel instead of 200 mg (by breaking a 100 mg pill in half). Although the initial feeling of not being so sedated feels good at first, it always catches up to me as far as mood, behavior, anxiety level, and choices. Then, I mourn losses, because hypomania sometimes interferes with my expectations in relationships. It's like people can't keep up with me the way I intend to when hypomanic.

I would definitely bring up to the pdoc that you do not want to feel as sedated (or go through your side effects), but you are still very concerned about becoming hypomanic or manic...since the "feeling good" part is usually an illusion. Maybe he/she can make adjustments? Perhaps a slightly lower dose in the AP's would make a difference, but of course, only a doctor could decide. It's hard sometimes to tell whether the side effects are "worth it. However, after hypomania catching up with me, I made the bold decision to go up to my recommended dose, in spite of the fatigue. Maybe my body will re-adjust and the time it's taken can make a difference. We'll see, but since my moods aren't exactly stable, I'm willing to at least try. Just my two cents to think about, if you can relate.

[Gabyunbound]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I often go through this. Hypomania feels good most of the time, especially when it is a break from depression. However, I usually end up starting to make bad decisions when I'm at that point. Then, I feel a desire to stay up rather than going to sleep, which means me only taking 50 mg of my Seroquel instead of 200 mg (by breaking a 100 mg pill in half). Although the initial feeling of not being so sedated feels good at first, it always catches up to me as far as mood, behavior, anxiety level, and choices. Then, I mourn losses, because hypomania sometimes interferes with my expectations in relationships. It's like people can't keep up with me the way I intend to when hypomanic.

I would definitely bring up to the pdoc that you do not want to feel as sedated (or go through your side effects), but you are still very concerned about becoming hypomanic or manic...since the "feeling good" part is usually an illusion. Maybe he/she can make adjustments? Perhaps a slightly lower dose in the AP's would make a difference, but of course, only a doctor could decide. It's hard sometimes to tell whether the side effects are "worth it. However, after hypomania catching up with me, I made the bold decision to go up to my recommended dose, in spite of the fatigue. Maybe my body will re-adjust and the time it's taken can make a difference. We'll see, but since my moods aren't exactly stable, I'm willing to at least try. Just my two cents to think about, if you can relate.

I can very much relate, I really appreciate this, very good advice!