[Anxiousvalkyrie]

So my son (he's 16) is leaving on Saturday to go back to the United States to stay with his dad for the summer. He will be gone for 7 weeks. I'm freaking out about it. He hasn't seen his dad for a year and his dad has filled his head with all these things he says he's going to take him to do and things he's going to buy him. Truth is, he won't do any of it and my son will end up completely miserable and wantin to come home. The exact same thing happened last year.

I hate when he's around my ex. The last few years we were married he started hanging out with people I would never be friends with and turned into someone I don't even recognize. He's a really bad influence in so many ways, and he and his wife (who's actually the girl he cheated on my with) say horrible things about me to my son all the time. It's causing me a huge amount of stress worrying about my son going to stay with him, which is making my mania worse. I can't tell him not to go if he wants to go, but I feel like he's going more because his dad has guilted him than anything else.

I don't know how to handle it and I'm afraid it's going to send me off the deep end when I put him on the plane Saturday morning.

[~Christina]

Does you son have the insight to know that divorces often lead to problems between ex spouses and shyt will be said that in all reality just isn't true?

Maybe sit down and have a chat with your son.. If you think he will be able to understand how something might be said and how to just stay out of that situation? How to gracefully leave a conversation that he in fact has no need to be in.

Is it at all possible that you and your ex can at least agree to not speak ill of each other in front of him?

One thing I learned during my Divorce is I had no control over what my EX promised our daughter and he had a really hard time at first balancing his time between her and his new wife ( yes also the one he cheated on me with) It would tear me up to have my 6 year old daughter come home crying because he didn't take her to the beach or McDonalds etc.... But in the end things did work out.. She got older and was able to verbalize to him how his actions hurt her etc.

Just make sure that you tell him how much you love him and to enjoy the trip as much as possible.

I would suggest that you make plans for yourself while your son is gone to keep yourself busy and not solely focused on how his trip is going.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I have had several conversations with my ex about not saying bad things about each other in front of our son, and he will agree to my fave but then he goes and does whatever he wants. I'm more worried than usual this time because my sister told my father about my bipolar and suicide attempt even though I explicitly told her not to, and he shares everyone with my ex. My dad is pissed at me for moving and so he's become friends with my ex as a result. So I'm afraid my son is going to have to defend me against the two or th, which isn't fair at all. I'm so angry at my sister for sharing things that weren't hers to share and that I asked her to keep to herself for this very reason.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

As for keeping occupied while he's gone..My husband is planning lots of things for us to do that he knows I've been wanting to do for a while. We're going to take trips to Oslo and Copenhagan....and a few beach trips and things like that.