[beigeish]

I have been incredibly out of sorts lately with a very recent diagnosis of Bipolar II. I find myself ruminating (obsessing) over the symptoms/med side effects/etc and find it incredibly difficult to focus at work. I am incredibly depressed & often have to run to the bathroom to recompose myself. When I'm in the office, it's a high pressure environment that demands a lot of me, both during work hours & outside of them. I have been thinking of taking time away from work to focus on getting well & adjusting to the new meds, but my fear is that everything will be the same when I come back. Anyone ever overcome this type of situation through some time off? Is it common to have to switch jobs?

[Bipolarchic14]

Sure did! I was going up and down with my mood daily. Morning I would be on top of the world. By evening I would be really depressed and suicidal. This went on for years and became worse and worse. My therapist and p- doc ignored it! I took fmla and joined a IOP program. Learned some skills, they adjusted my Meds. Now I am doing so well. A little hypo now, but overall doing well.

[beigeish]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Sure did! I was going up and down with my mood daily. Morning I would be on top of the world. By evening I would be really depressed and suicidal. This went on for years and became worse and worse. My therapist and p- doc ignored it! I took fmla and joined a IOP program. Learned some skills, they adjusted my Meds. Now I am doing so well. A little hypo now, but overall doing well.

Thanks for the hope! What is IOP? How long were you off work?

[Bipolarchic14]

Intensive out patient. Step before mental hospital. With the program I was in, I was in therapy three times a week from 10am to 3pm. Each program is different. Learn coping skills, healthy sleep habits, group therapy etc is what my program was composed of. I was out for two months. I have to tell you my regular therapist was not on board. She was convinced I was not in an episode because what I was dealing with was not defined in the rules for bp2. She blatently said it is good to go through the program even you are not in a episode. Having to explain that I became so suicidal at night that I would go to the store at midnight looking for supplies and being high on life 10 hrs later was not easy to describe. Believe me if I wanted to make something up, it would not be that! What makes matters worse is I dont look like anything is wrong. This was something I picked up from my mom. She was very ill, but she would never let you see it. I grew up the same way.

[beigeish]

Funny- I have the same habits picked up from my mom!

I will look more into IOP programs- thanks again

[wildflowerchild25]

I've taken two extended leaves from work in the past two school years (I'm a teacher). One was for three months in the fall of 2014 and one was for two months this past winter. Both times I was completely depressed and suicidal and couldn't handle working. I would spend the majority of my time in the bathroom hiding because I couldn't handle the students. They called me the teacher who never smiles.

Both times I only took extended leave because I was doing ECT. I've taken a few shorter leaves (like a week or two) to get my head straight in the hospital and then gone back while attending evening IOP.

But right now I'm in the process of finding a new job. I teach severely behaviorally disordered students and I just can't do it anymore. Even when I'm not depressed I want to tear my hair out because it's so stressful. It's exacerbated my mental illness. I'm finding it impossible to stay well while at this job.

So my point is there's no shame in taking some time off to get your head straight. And you also have to evaluate if this is the right job for you. You may need something with less hours or less stress. Again, no shame in that.

Good luck to you! I also recommend trying to find an IOP program, they can be very helpful.

[beigeish]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Having to explain that I became so suicidal at night that I would go to the store at midnight looking for supplies and being high on life 10 hrs later was not easy to describe. Believe me if I wanted to make something up, it would not be that! What makes matters worse is I dont look like anything is wrong. This was something I picked up from my mom. She was very ill, but she would never let you see it. I grew up the same way.

Thanks wildflower. On a completely separate note- was ECT helpful? I've done research but have always been terrified of bringing it up to my doc or therapist for fear that they'll think it's a good idea.

Bipolarchic- exactly what you said above is everything I've been going through for the past several months. I cried last night reading it because it's been incredibly isolating & to know that someone else has been here & made it through it is hugely impactful for me. I wish there were a stable in-between that I could exist in, even for a short time.

[wildflowerchild25]

It was very helpful. It saved my life three times. That being said I wouldn't do it unless you've exhausted all other options. It causes memory loss and cognitive issues and it's tough on the body to be put under anesthesia so often. But it was worth it to me. I would do it again if nothing else was working.

[JustJace2u]

Thanks for posting this thread, I needed this as well.