[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Do you guys ever get obsessed with things and just can't let them go no matter what you do? It could be a thought or something someone did that bothered you or something you wish you'd said or not said in a situation. Does it spark certain emotions when / if you get this way?

I do this all the time and I drive myself crazy over it. It usually sparks anger in me. Either at myself or another person if there's one involved in the situation. Sometimes it's something really tiny or petty that probably shouldn't bother me, other times it's something really significant. I don't know how to stop it once the obsessive thoughts begin. I lose sleep over it when it happens and my anxiety goes through the roof.

Is this typical of bipolar patients?

This can be typical for everyone actually. I suffer with this, and so does my mom who has anxiety and my friend who isn't BP.

I think it's anxiety related when it gets obsessive. At least for me it is.

I think DBT might help with this.

Good luck and sorry you are suffering with this. It can be horrible when the thoughts are too bad and the anger too high. (((HUGS))

[beigeish]

This definitely happens to me. I remember one time in particular that on my way to a doctor appointment, I saw a dog in someone's front yard. It wasn't collared or fenced. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I couldn't stop thinking of the dog. Wondering if it was stray or lost & feeling incredibly guilty that I didn't stop to check. After the appointment I drove circles around the neighborhood trying to find it again, describing the dog to anyone walking around or outside if they knew who it belonged to or if they saw it. Of course, I didn't find it again. I scoured the internet that night trying to find a "Missing" or "Found" dog flier matching its description. I bawled into my husband's (very confused) shoulder until I fell asleep that night. I felt guilty for weeks, & still do when I think about it.

I can definitely relate. I go through the same general anxious motions whenever I disappoint myself. Not sure if it's bipolar specific, but it's true in my case.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

For me (this time at least) it's over something my sister posted on Facebook. She lies ALL the time. So much so that I'm pretty sure she actually believes her lies. Earlier today she posted yet another outrageous lie about herself (I think she sometimes forgets that I know her life history) and everything in me wants to call her out on it but I don't because I don't want to cause family drama.

So instead Im just obsessing over it. Going over and over in my head what I wish I could say to her and getting angrier and angrier about her lie. If I ask her privately about it she'll just say I'm crazy and tell me I'm a bad person for saying she's lying. It's kind of a no win situation.

[beigeish]

Principle of the matter-type stuff, right? I get the same way. I tend to be a very black and white person & I think because of that I have a tendency to get angry when things aren't fair even if they don't affect me personally.

Unfortunately I haven't figured out a way to fix it outside of several ativan or a strong drink. Appreciate the post though- I need the advice too

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by beigeish

Principle of the matter-type stuff, right? I get the same way. I tend to be a very black and white person & I think because of that I have a tendency to get angry when things aren't fair even if they don't affect me personally.

Unfortunately I haven't figured out a way to fix it outside of several ativan or a strong drink. Appreciate the post though- I need the advice too

Yes!! I am very black and white as well. It's almost impossible for me to live in the grey zone. It can be super frustrating.

[cincidak]

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

Yes!! I am very black and white as well. It's almost impossible for me to live in the grey zone. It can be super frustrating.

I'm the same way. I hate injustice, and things that are unfair, or not right. It's hard to let go. Sometimes I can just forgive the person, even if the offense was directed at me, and then I'm able to let go. You can't change your sister, and you probably right she would just get defensive. Try to forgive her for lying, then let it go. She never has to know you've forgiven her. I do it all the time, but it can be really hard. I wish you luck

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[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by cincidak

I'm the same way. I hate injustice, and things that are unfair, or not right. It's hard to let go. Sometimes I can just forgive the person, even if the offense was directed at me, and then I'm able to let go. You can't change your sister, and you probably right she would just get defensive. Try to forgive her for lying, then let it go. She never has to know you've forgiven her. I do it all the time, but it can be really hard. I wish you luck

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I think the hardest thing in forgiving her (and why I often can't) is because she often hurts other people with her lies.

Today she was posted an article about abused women said she and her kids were horribly abused by her ex husband. She and her kids were never abused. He ex was a great father and worked 60 hours a week to suppor the family. She got caught cheating and claimed her ex abused her to scree him over in court and to not have to take responsibility for cheating (which she denied even though her ex had proof). Anyways she took the kids and her ex hasn't seen them in 6 years. It infuriates me. Especially since she's gotten people to believe her.

[cincidak]

Wow. That's horrible. Yeah I'd find it hard to even associate with her at all.

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[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by cincidak

Wow. That's horrible. Yeah I'd find it hard to even associate with her at all.

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Yeah....it's horrible...and she got my mom to believe her. So if I try to say anything about the truth of the situation my mom gets furious with me for not being supportive of my sister.

I have been dealing with a great deal of resentment lately and I think it has a lot to do with recent failures to be acknowledged.

[cincidak]

I'm so sorry. I've disowned family members because of certain issues with them, and I feel great. No more drama, no more anger

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