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  #1  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 07:48 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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I grew up in a large family.

My brother and I, just a year apart, were both "middle children."
We were also best friends throughout our childhood and adult years.

We did almost everything together throughout our childhood.
We stayed in touch, making daily calls to one another, even the years we'd lived in different states. It was an interesting relationship, as although we had a history together and shared some interests and a whole lotta love, our adult lives were almost completely different. Our love for one another overrode everything, always.

He had a huge heart and was a lot of fun. At the same time, he'd suffered in his private life with severe alcoholism, PTSD, bipolar illness and BPD. Yet, please do not ever think his "problem list" made him less of a person and a burden in any way. He was a giant in so many ways. His love for people never stopped. He would give the shirt off of his back to help someone, anyone in dire need. He was so sensitive, so kind, such an amazing soul!

I was glad I had returned to the same geographical region and was able to spend a couple of years with him before he had suffered sudden peritonitis, multi-organ failure -- and had passed on.

He was such a delightful soul. Such a huge heart!

He had gone through a divorce and I was his "healthcare agent." This meant: When the time came that the surgeons saw no more hope for his recovery, I had to make the decisions for his care. His physicians had asked me to sign the paperwork to withdraw care, to allow his very ill body to end the struggle.

It has taken me several years and I continue adjusting to the loss of my brother, my dear friend.

However, I never want to see anyone suffer the way his physical body was suffering, trying to fight a battle which had been lost. Once two EEGs had shown he was brain dead and doctors had said they could do nothing more, had no further hope, it was time to let him go.

I had called a "family meeting" which was held in a huge conference room at the hospital. I invited his children to sit front and center, encouraging them to ask any questions they had of the physicians in the room. Once the meeting was over with, there was clear family consensus.

Signing the paperwork to withdraw care was one of the most loving things I could have done for him at that time. The last time we were able to communicate, he had told me he was ready to go. We'd had many heart-to-heart discussions. He had assured me of many things, things which made it easier to let him go when the time came.

With great sadness, love, compassion -- and with celebration, I then let him go.

Today is the anniversary of his independence from pain and suffering.

I still miss him terribly. Yet, today, I celebrate all we'd shared together -- the sad and difficult times, the love and the fun. My life has been greatly enhanced by his life and his Love. I could not have done this life without him.
I am so grateful I've had him as a brother.

Until we meet again, Dear Brother!

You have my Eternal Love and Gratitude,

WC
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Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, BeyondtheRainbow, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Gabyunbound, JustJace2u, kindachaotic, Nammu, Rohag, Wander, Yours_Truly, ~Christina
Thanks for this!
Gabyunbound, id10tothe9, Nammu, Takeshi

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  #2  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 07:54 AM
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Wander Wander is offline
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What a wonderful tribute to what sounds like a great man. I am truly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how devestating it must be. Sending you BIG HUGS.
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  #3  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 08:06 AM
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  #4  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 08:27 AM
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GoldenSnitch GoldenSnitch is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Canada
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So many hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #5  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 09:17 AM
Anonymous59125
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This was so sad, yet so touching. I'm truly moved by your feelings of love for your brother. I'm sorry he was taken from you too soon but sincerely glad you had such a wonderful person to love in your life. My heart goes out to you. (((Hugs)))

Last edited by Anonymous59125; Jul 03, 2016 at 10:31 AM.
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  #6  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 01:43 PM
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pirilin pirilin is offline
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I understand what you went thru. I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine. And his mother.
A failed attempt with xanax. Under cocaine influence. Never regained concience again. Six, yes 6, years in a coma.
His insurance covered every single penny. More than ten million dollars.
He had bipolar. Otherwise a completely healthy person.

I was the one holding the hot potato. Since I visited most every day and there was no one else, I had to make the decision.
I won't go into details but it was a fight to change protocol. I did win. He went in a humane manner. But left me in pieces. I lost the battle with God.

I understand it wasn't easy, even if you had family concensus. And he was terminal.
Don't know what else to day.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[

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If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown.
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You are the slave of what you say,
and the master of what you keep. Unknown.
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  #7  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 02:18 PM
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pirilin pirilin is offline
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I'm sorry for the ranting.
It was a very beautiful way to remember your brother.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[

Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON.
If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown.
Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo.
You are the slave of what you say,
and the master of what you keep. Unknown.
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  #8  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 04:24 PM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pirilin View Post
I'm sorry for the ranting.
It was a very beautiful way to remember your brother.
I did not take anything as "ranting."

I do understand some of what you went through.
It can be tough to go through some off these challenges.
My heart goes out to you.


WC
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  #9  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 04:33 PM
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JustJace2u JustJace2u is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,928
Sorry to hear about your brother, but it sounds like you made the right decision, especially if the family agreed with you. This was a beautiful thing you wrote, I may have shed a tear or two.
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  #10  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 04:50 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,838
That was beautiful.
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #11  
Old Jul 04, 2016, 05:30 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
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Thank you, everyone, for your Love and Support!

I'd truly needed to share about my brother. Thanks for reading and responding. I felt your support. It gets a little easier each year. It's much easier when able to share. This is a wonderful community. I am grateful to have the opportunity to share with each/all of you!

With Love and Gratitude,
WC
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