I feel a depressive episode coming on. I am fighting it tooth and nail. I'm taking all my meds regularly, eating regularly, and sleeping. Sleeping too much but I'm not lounging in bed all day. I'm getting out of the house at least once a day even though I want to isolate.

I'm trying to stay positive. I'm definitely not feeling well and I'm having abrupt crying spells and some irritability. But I'm not suicidal and I don't think I'm fully into a depressive episode yet.

I do not get depression often but when I do, it's severe and all my hospitalizations have been a result of suicidal depression. I want to avoid the depression altogether because I'm looking at months of depression based on several years of patterns from past depressive episodes. I definitely don't want to return to the hospital either.

Any suggestions? I'm opening my toolbox and any tips from you all helps. One thing I can't do is exercise because I hurt my knee (dr appt for that on the 12th).

I'm traveling in a week, too. My boyfriend and I will be going across the country to visit one of his family members for a couple of weeks. In the past, traveling has made me manic. I've never traveled while depressed.

Do you all think I can turn this around within a week? I don't think a call to my pdoc is warranted at this point. I just started a new AD two months ago because I was getting depressed. It seems to help and has definitely helped my social anxiety disorder. But now I'm feeling depression coming on.

It's not PMS-related. I kind of wish it was because I'd know when it ends.

Dammit, I guess I am long overdue for a major depressive episode. Can I fight it off or am I kidding myself. I have bipolar 1, if that helps. I've been feeling myself I'm ok lately but my boyfriend today said I'm not ok. He wasn't being unkindly, just concerned.

Can I truly fight it off? I hate that pull up your bootstraps thing, but does it work? I definitely won't go off my meds. I don't drink alcohol or do street drugs.

I'm making a big effort to eat regularly and healthy. I have an unhealthy coping mechanism of eating very little when stressed. With depression, I've had such dark episodes it didn't even occur for me to eat, at all.

Any input or thoughts are appreciated. I am confused, worried and scared.

[Daonnachd]

Try doing exercises which don't involve the knee. Repetitive motion stimulates the brain to produce additional feel good hormones. It's worth a try.

Also try taking vitamin D, 5000 IU size tablets. It's the happy vitamin.

I wish you the best.

[Skeezyks]

Hello rainy: I'm so sorry you are experiencing this downturn. I'm afraid I don't really have anything to offer here in the way of suggestions for you. I want to tell you that, yes, you can beat this... just because I want you to be well. But honestly... I don't know.

Personally, I'm no longer on antidepressants. And I don't see a therapist. I simply try to employ some of the Buddhist practices I've learned from reading the various books written by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, among others. But I'm old & pretty reclusive. My life is so different from most people's that I don't think one can gain much insight from it. So, as a result, I think about all I can offer is my best wishes for success as you attempt to ward off this approaching depression.

[~Christina]

Bipolar shows its ugliness at the always worst time as ever....

Your self awareness is fantastic!!!! your seeing that this is happening and your doing everything possible to head this off.

At a time like this I would indeed make a call to your Pdoc. Your not in a free fall ( yet) your fighting . I was headed into a very nasty depression a few years ago and I also had a trip I had to make. My Pdoc gave me a very very low dose of a stimulant for a few weeks, I can't remember the name ( Fibro fog it didn't end my depression but it held it off enough that I was able to make it through my trip.

I hate that your facing this episode. Keep doing everything your doing and call your Pdoc ..

I'm always around if you need anything

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I simply try to employ some of the Buddhist practices I've learned from reading the various books written by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, among others.

To expand on the Buddhist practices of mindfulness that the Skeezyks mentioned, basically, you want to fully experience every moment as if your life depended on it, but do it without judgement. Take time to focus on just your breathing. If your mind wanders, just re-focus and continue. This will calm a turbulent mind and allow rest from pain and depression.

I'll second vertigo's recommendation of vitamin D. My GP found mine very low, and brought it up with Rx level vitamin (a once a week thing). Anyhow! Now she's got me on a maintence level of D3. I've noticed better stability recently. It might be a coincidence, but there's no harm in trying!

As to the question of whether you can fight it off or are kidding yourself, I vote for the former. To think the latter would not help your situation. Believing it is possible and using your toolbox are your best bet. Right? Right. We're here to cheer you on!

Originally Posted by vertigo

Try doing exercises which don't involve the knee. Repetitive motion stimulates the brain to produce additional feel good hormones. It's worth a try.

Also try taking vitamin D, 5000 IU size tablets. It's the happy vitamin.

I wish you the best.

Hi Vertigo,

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate the exercise suggestions. I'm very limited as to what I can do because of neck/back problems - but I can do a lot of stretching. It's sort of a self-modified version of Pilates. I wish I could run or do yoga, but those days are over. But I can do my stretching exercises and maybe I'll do some searches online for something new to try. I have chronic/neck back pain and I know my body pretty well.

"Getting moving" seems to help me. A therapist once told me that if we are stationary too long, we are "down." And staying "down" too long can make us feel down. I'd never thought about it like that but she's correct!

Staying in bed all day never helps me. It's so tempting when that sheer exhaustion of major depression hits. I can sleep 15 hours a day. Fortunately, I am not at that point.

Christina recently recommended setting a 15-minute timer - I'd posted in the Chronic Pain forum about keeping up with cleaning (I'm a neat freak and hate clutter). Using the timer also may help battle the depression. I can get really spacey when I'm depressed so a timer will keep me going. (Thanks again, Christina!).

I will look into Vitamin D, thanks. My pdoc had me taking it but then a study came out and he told me to discontinue taking it. I can't recall the details but I will ask him. I could use some "happy" right now!

Thanks again for your support.

[scatterbrained04]

When I start getting hit with depression there are a few things I do. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. One of the first things I do is make sure I'm taking vitamin D and all the other vitamin my pdoc wants me to take (I am already compliant with my meds, vitamins not so much). Then I make sure I'm getting good sleep, and not too much or too little. Lastly, I overdose on doing things that I enjoy or usually make me happy and especially things that make me laugh. I am super in to Supernatural, so my go to happy place is that show, as well as watching panels from conventions and communicating with people in the fandom.

I really hope you are able to head it off.

Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk

I'm in the exact same boat as you. Sending you hugs. I wish I had advise, but right now I'm just concentrating on getting through the day and making sure my self talk isn't too negative. (((Hugs)))

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Bipolar shows its ugliness at the always worst time as ever....

Yes it does! I guess there never is a good time although I like some positive, manageable hypomania. That comes on quickly and typically without "warning"....oh well.

Your self awareness is fantastic!!!! your seeing that this is happening and your doing everything possible to head this off.

Thanks! I'm definitely going to fight this. Earlier on in my illness, I wasn't as in control. I don't think my bipolar has improved over the years but I've realized there is ALOT I can do beyond simply meds and therapy. For me, it's kind of like chronic pain....little different things add up and help. Trial and error with a big dose of determination.

I hate that your facing this episode. Keep doing everything your doing and call your Pdoc

Thanks, I took your advice and called my pdoc. He called me back a half hour later, he's so good about that. Unfortunately, he can't get me in to see him before I leave town because he's in the middle of a murder trial. However, he did have his office call in an rx to increase my Lexapro. I am on the lowest dose and it started working more quickly than I expected. Hopefully the new doseage will do the trick.

I already take a stimulant and he's concerned I might get manic if he raises that. So, I will go pick up my rx and start the increased dose today and keep my fingers crossed. He told me to call him during my trip if I start feeling really bad.

I'm always around if you need anything

Thank you, that means a lot. I don't get many PM's and it's nice to know I can reach out.

Well, I'm still not feeling well but I feel like I have a "plan" formulating. Anything to avoid just sitting here in apathy. And, if I still end up falling into a deep depression, I know that it will get better at some point and I am not alone. But I'm trying to stay proactive and optimistic.

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello rainy: I'm so sorry you are experiencing this downturn. I'm afraid I don't really have anything to offer here in the way of suggestions for you. I want to tell you that, yes, you can beat this... just because I want you to be well. But honestly... I don't know.

My life is so different from most people's that I don't think one can gain much insight from it. So, as a result, I think about all I can offer is my best wishes for success as you attempt to ward off this approaching depression.

Thank you, Skeezyks...your post cheered me up.

Originally Posted by vertigo

To expand on the Buddhist practices of mindfulness that the Skeezyks mentioned, basically, you want to fully experience every moment as if your life depended on it, but do it without judgement. Take time to focus on just your breathing. If your mind wanders, just re-focus and continue. This will calm a turbulent mind and allow rest from pain and depression.

I love Mindfulness! I started learning about it when I was in law school and needed to manage stress. Thanks for posting this - it really is helpful and it helps my OCD, too.

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I'll second vertigo's recommendation of vitamin D. My GP found mine very low, and brought it up with Rx level vitamin (a once a week thing). Anyhow! Now she's got me on a maintence level of D3. I've noticed better stability recently. It might be a coincidence, but there's no harm in trying!

As to the question of whether you can fight it off or are kidding yourself, I vote for the former. To think the latter would not help your situation. Believing it is possible and using your toolbox are your best bet. Right? Right. We're here to cheer you on!

Thanks so much for the suggestions and the support, it helps a lot! Btw, I love The Cure and got to see them in concert back in the day. Kept meaning to tell you a fan of them, too.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I wish I had advice, but I don't so (((Hugs))) to you.

[Wander]

Man you have had some amazing advice! I don't know what to add except maybe to journal. It has been very helpful to me in keeping self awareness (especially as the episode escalates), venting and having a record to look back on when you are well. I really hope you head this off at the pass and are feeling better soon.

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

I wish I had advice, but I don't so (((Hugs))) to you.

Thanks for the support.

Originally Posted by Wander

Man you have had some amazing advice! I don't know what to add except maybe to journal. It has been very helpful to me in keeping self awareness (especially as the episode escalates), venting and having a record to look back on when you are well. I really hope you head this off at the pass and are feeling better soon.

Thank you! Journaling hasn't had a good effect on me. I'm in the minority. It makes me feel worse. I wish this wasn't the case. Maybe I'll look into it more via the Internet. It fuels my negative thoughts rather than being cathartic. I like your idea of using it to monitor episodes...

The only exception is when I've been hospitalized and feel well enough to write. It helps me remain hopeful.

Hmmmm....maybe I can think of it in that light just from home? I guess I can journal whatever I want, right? In the past, therapists have encouraged me to journal my negative thoughts and it's like throwing gasoline on a file.

Or, they have recommended that I journal throughout my day and jot down what I'm doing. I've had my OCD kick in big time and ended up having a panic attack because I wasn't getting it "right."

My brain

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( Rainyday ))))))
Love and Support

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

When I start getting hit with depression there are a few things I do. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. One of the first things I do is make sure I'm taking vitamin D and all the other vitamin my pdoc wants me to take (I am already compliant with my meds, vitamins not so much). Then I make sure I'm getting good sleep, and not too much or too little. Lastly, I overdose on doing things that I enjoy or usually make me happy and especially things that make me laugh. I am super in to Supernatural, so my go to happy place is that show, as well as watching panels from conventions and communicating with people in the fandom.

I really hope you are able to head it off.

Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk

Thank you! I just started a book that is good and that is one of my hobbies. I also see there are two support chats tonight that could help me (bipolar and PTSD).

If I get some decent energy, I'll drive over to the library. I love doing that. It is hard for me to get out though, too. Even if I'm not depressed. It's hard to explain.

[pirilin]

I've being bypassing your thread, not because of a lack of love,
but because I don't have a solution for depression. It bothers the hell out me.
I was in one for ten months deep black hole one. And I couldn't get out.
I think Lithium has helped me inmensly. Other than that, I have no other comment
that can help you. All the Best to you.

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Rainyday,

I find the teachings of Mindfulness, of both CBT and of DBT very helpful in minimizing some types of depression. I often recommend: DBT Self Help.

Distraction helps me. I try to get involved in things, even though I don't "feel like it."

I hope you feel better soon!


WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi Rainyday,

I find the teachings of Mindfulness, of both CBT and of DBT very helpful in minimizing some types of depression. I often recommend: DBT Self Help.

Distraction helps me. I try to get involved in things, even though I don't "feel like it."

I hope you feel better soon!


WC

Wild Coyote,

Thanks for the link! I have had DBT therapy and it helps me a lot. I self-studied up on mindfulness in the 1990's before I was diagnosed. I was in law school and stressed to the max so I went to the bookstore and discovered Mindfulness. Been using it ever since. I'm less a fan of CBT but can appreciate its value.

I think the above therapeutic models focus on remaining "in the moment" and not overthinking things. I think those of us with bipolar disorder have to make a real effort at this because our brains are so busy! Lately my goal is stretches of mindfulness and letting my mind run as it will....but redirecting it if I start thinking about depression.

Thanks again

Doing better! Mild depression has lifted. =]

Yea! Good to hear, rainyday!

[melmyers1107]

Talk to anyone just anyone, go to a support group meeting likeaa or anything and you will find an instant relief plus it will get you out of the house. as far as your knee goes, can you do hydrotherapy for exercise