[Alkaline_]

Hi, lovelies.

I have to rein myself back in a little bit over here and remind myself that it probably wasn't meant in the way that it was said, or, rather, the way I perceived it.

Someone on Youtube posted a video describing her struggles with bipolar disorder, type one. This in and of itself--the posting of her video or the content of which--did not set me off. It was the simple fact that she went on to describe her disorder as the "worst," and it's the way in which she said it that irks me, for a very important, and all too often, overlooked reason.

As you guys probably already know...

According to WebMD,

There are several types of bipolar disorder; all involve episodes of depression and mania to a degree. They include bipolar I, bipolar II, cyclothymic disorder, mixed bipolar, and rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. A person affected by bipolar I disorder has had at least one manic episode in his or her life.

There is placed emphasis on that certain part because of this: there are, as stated above, several types of bipolar disorder. According to that list, there are five. Type one, two, and cyclothymic (sometimes referred to as type three) all fall upon the same spectrum and sort of create more of a cascading effect in terms severity of the disorder as a whole, type one being considered the worst more often than not.

This is not to mention the other two types of bipolar disorder, the mixed and rapid. Rapid, as defined by WebMD again, is diagnosed by distinct episodes in frequency of the disorder, not in "severity." Mixed is literally a mix of frequency and/or severity of episodes, and often times depressive and manic episodes can be experienced at once (as seen in hypomanic patients, though severity is subjective).

Bipolar two is defined by severe depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes lasting less than a week. Yes, by diagnostic manual, bipolar II and III are considered the lesser of all evil.

But your mania in bipolar I does not make my hypomania in bipolar II any easier to deal with. And my depression doesn't make those with cyclothymic disorder any better than mine.

And that's how the girl came off--as if she's entitled now because she has bipolar one instead of the others, as if someone else's struggle with bipolar two is invalid up against her diagnosis. When these are labels given to us in order to help us. If it wasn't as bad as anything, there wouldn't be treatment options and information to be sought out. Any mental disorder can be just as distressing as another. It doesn't matter how long you've had that diagnosis or how you got it; it's all relative to the sufferer, as well as the circumstances surrounding the individual during the time of diagnosis.

That's one thing I've seen inside the field, being a patient myself and also having been a student. Being bipolar two isn't easy. But I also meet the diagnostic requirements for type one, simply because I go through manic episodes almost as much as I do depressive episodes, as well as hypomanic ones. And this is no walk in the park. It's especially not any easier when people pin people against other people.

In phlebotomy class, my teacher told me she was afraid of the safety of patients as well my classmates because I confided in her that I'm struggling with bipolar disorder and PTSD and have a hard time getting the treatment I know I need and the kind that works best for me. Sad thing is, she played the greater victim, stating that she also has bipolar disorder, and knows how bad it can get with and without medication, that she has her own issues, as well as me. Stigmatizing me just because she actually has a completed degree in psychology.

This is just something I'm so sick of seeing, the I'm worse off than you. Nope. We're all struggling in our own ways, no one the greater victim, and if you need my assistance, I'll be over here. But just shut up about being the baddest.

Maybe I did misinterpret what she was saying. And for that I apologize. But I don't like my labels played down. It's a huge trigger for me and shouldn't be done.

What are your thoughts on this?

I agree. Each type of bipolar disorder is equally distressing. No one type of bipolar disorder is "worse" or "better" than another.

I, too, feel as though I'm type 2. My hypo/mania symptoms align more with type 2 than they do with type 1, but I tend to get hallucinations, so, by definition, I'm type 1 despite identifying more with type 2.

I'm sorry that your phlebotomy teacher treated you that way. That's total BS.

Can you link to the video, btw? I'm interested in seeing it.

[Onward2wards]

I agree with your arguments, Alkaline. A problem is a problem is a problem, and it's not useful to compare who has it worse. That does nothing to actually solve a problem!

People tend to compare themselves relative to others, favorably or unfavorably. I have read that even 18 month old children have been observed doing it! It's human nature, it serves a purpose, but sometimes it gets annoying.

[Alkaline_]

I'll send you the PM with the link in a little bit. Not allowed to post it yet.

Looking back at it last night, maybe I shouldn't go off as I had. I can relate to her mania well and seeing another person suffering is hard for me. I still think what she said was information.

My symptoms are dependent on anything and everything, because although I'm usually in a depressive state, my mania can either be hypomania or I can be giddy and stupid like I am now. However, my intake therapist last week told me she's on the fence about being bipolar, and I almost went off on her--because I'm angry and feel invalidated. Again and again. There's no time limit or frequency on my episodes--they're just there. Another reason I can relate to that girl in the video.

It's not your fault, but I appreciate it. <3

I think people assume BP 1 is "more severe" because the thought of psychosis is so foreign and scary to most people. Almost everything I've read actually argues the opposite, that BP 2 is "more severe" because there are often more episodes, more depression, more suicide. But it seems ridiculous to even make these judgments since the presentation of all forms of BP varies so much from person to person (and, like you mention, it's all subjective anyway...even if 2 people had identical illnesses, they would experience them very differently). It's unfortunate that the "spectrum" model is (mis)interpreted as a measure of severity.

[BastetsMuse]

I think bipolar I gets the lion's share of attention because mania is just incredibly descructible. It ruins lives and does it with a spotlight on it as well.

The other kinds and symptoms of bipolar aren't usually violent or newsworthy. They're just different, not better. None of it is actually good.

Originally Posted by BastetsMuse

I think bipolar I gets the lion's share of attention because mania is just incredibly descructible. It ruins lives and does it with a spotlight on it as well.

The other kinds and symptoms of bipolar aren't usually violent or newsworthy. They're just different, not better. None of it is actually good.

I'm type 1 and get psychotic. It's not good. That said, I've never thought type 2 peeps had it easy! No way. I think it is a hard illness no matter what type. Who am I (or anyone) to say how things are for another? I would never do that and I can see how that video offended you. xo

[Alkaline_]

Originally Posted by BastetsMuse

I think bipolar I gets the lion's share of attention because mania is just incredibly descructible. It ruins lives and does it with a spotlight on it as well.

The other kinds and symptoms of bipolar aren't usually violent or newsworthy. They're just different, not better. None of it is actually good.

Agreed. But what people miss is the fact that depression can be just as destructive as mania, just in different ways. People often don't listen to people who say they're thinking about killing themselves and they won't take them seriously.

Originally Posted by Alkaline_

Agreed. But what people miss is the fact that depression can be just as destructive as mania, just in different ways. People often don't listen to people who say they're thinking about killing themselves and they won't take them seriously.

This has been my experience. I will tell people close to me that I think about suicide every day, or that I don't want to live anymore, and they do/say nothing. Then when someone actually does commit suicide there's always this huge outcry about "knowing the signs" and reaching out etc etc. Depression is so much about hiding and silence and isolation - it's death by a thousand cuts - it can go unseen until it's too late. Mania, on the other hand, is loud and urgent and chaotic - it's more of an emergency situation that demands immediate attention.

[p00dlez]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

I think people assume BP 1 is "more severe" because the thought of psychosis is so foreign and scary to most people. Almost everything I've read actually argues the opposite, that BP 2 is "more severe" because there are often more episodes, more depression, more suicide. But it seems ridiculous to even make these judgments since the presentation of all forms of BP varies so much from person to person (and, like you mention, it's all subjective anyway...even if 2 people had identical illnesses, they would experience them very differently). It's unfortunate that the "spectrum" model is (mis)interpreted as a measure of severity.

I agree with a lot of what you said, it is an individual thing and it is ridiculous to make these kind of judgments because it varies so much from person to person.

However I don't agree that bipolar 2 is somehow more severe and has more depression etc. I know in my case I was diagnosed with major depression decades before I ever had a manic episode. I don't think I am a special snowflake either, I think there's lots of others like me.

I think be it type one or type two it all sucks and it really does no good to be comparing ourselves in some contest to see who has it worse.