[mugwort2]

I remember when I was little, before age ten my mother would be of either of two extremes with me. She would be warm and loving , like I could do no wrong or she'd be cold, distant. No matter what I did could never please her. I don't recall any in between. I was like either the best or the worst daughter, child for any mother. There is a chance I repressed some memories. I was a really little girl when she treated me in one extreme or the other.
1. Can anyone relate to my post via how they were bought up by either parent. Does she sound she could be BP. How much so? Lastly is BP genetic?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I can answer your last question. About 25% of those with a parent with bipolar will develop bipolar.

My father is nearly certainly bipolar, as was my maternal grandmother. I have cousins with bipolar as well. With the history on both sides I figure I didn't have a chance, or at least there wasn't really a chance that one of my siblings or I would have it.

It sounds like your mom may have had some issues but it's hard to know what exactly (other can look similar to bipolar at times). It's hard to know via computer and we're not able to diagnose anyway. But it is not easy to grow up with someone who is inconsistent so I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

[Wild Coyote]

I had answered on the thread where you'd written about this a few days ago.

It's impossible to discern your mother's condition from your description. Many psychiatric conditions (including personality disorders) have these features.

I think you are being very considerate in wondering what drove her behaviors. I am sure you loved her.

I, too, am sorry you were raised under confusing conditions.


WC

[scatterbrained04]

She could be bipolar, but there's a lot of other things it could also be. Nobody here is really qualified to diagnose. It sounds like what you went through as a child was very difficult though (((hugs)))

[BipolaRNurse]

My mother was the same way. I never knew which mother I was coming home to every afternoon after school---the sweet one who greeted me pleasantly at the door and took me to the beach, the weepy hot mess who blamed me for all her problems, the drunk one who blamed me for her drinking, or the angry, hostile one who screamed at me for hours and punished me for any real or imagined offense. She made me feel horrible about myself. I don't know if she was bipolar or not, but she sure displayed a lot of the symptoms.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

My mother was the same way. I never knew which mother I was coming home to every afternoon after school---the sweet one who greeted me pleasantly at the door and took me to the beach, the weepy hot mess who blamed me for all her problems, the drunk one who blamed me for her drinking, or the angry, hostile one who screamed at me for hours and punished me for any real or imagined offense. She made me feel horrible about myself. I don't know if she was bipolar or not, but she sure displayed a lot of the symptoms.

((((( BipolaRNurse )))))


WC

[fishin fool]

Looking back now, I have no doubt that my mom was bipolar 1 and probably
had other issues as well. She never did get help for any of it.

[searching4732]

My mother sounds incredibly similar. Her moods and reactions were so unbelievably unpredictable when I was growing up-- if I made a mistake I never knew if the kind, loving, forgiving mother would respond or the angry hostile one who would hit me.

As an adult, I work in the field of mental health as a psych nurse (go figure.) I'm not a psychiatrist, but if I were going to diagnose her, I'd say she's got a pretty serious borderline personality coupled with depression. BPD's are pretty classic for those "love or hate" relationships, unpredictable emotional reactions, etc. etc. etc...

[mugwort2]

Thanks everyone for replying. In retrospect I did suspect my question could of been unanswerable even by MH professionals. OTOH Thats the most I remembered. I feel sorry for everyone here and elsewise who dealt with parents with such flucuating moods. I remembered a minute ago in her later years she was prescribed Lexapro.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

I suspect my dad had bipolar. His sister does and is living with it now. His aunt did before she died. I think my grandfather (brother to the aunt) had some MH issues, or else he was just the unwitting cause of them.

My dad didn't quite do the hot/cold thing you're describing. I don't remember him being depressed a lot - but he bought a sports car on a whim, had affairs (I found out after he died), displayed a lot of the hypo markers of grandiosity, had a million interests, spent tons of money on many of them, and loved to drink/party. I'm not sure if I would have known at the time if he had depression; he was away from home a lot with work (and, apparently, affairs). He died in a plane accident; there was never a cause discovered. It was pretty convenient, in terms of none of our family being around at the time. As an adult, I wonder if he committed suicide in that way. I'll never know, I guess.

I was 15 when he died. The rest of my family has more complete memories of him. He was angry and overbearing with my oldest brother. I don't really know how he related to my middle brother. I know he fought with my mom, but he also went to counseling with her to try to make their relationship better. It's weird, because I feel like each of us knew a different person in a way, because his relationship with each of us was so different. In the end, I really only have my memories of him, and those have holes anyway.

I'm sorry for the childhood you had, wondering which mom you were going to deal with that day. That's one of my biggest fears as a mom myself - wondering how severely my BP is impacting my kids. I work really hard to make not take out my MI on them; sometimes I fail, and I hate it. We do talk openly about my mood, though, and when I'm reacting in ways that aren't reasonable - and my struggle with that. I hope to God that my kids know the mom that is rational, caring, nurturing, and understanding is the one I want for them all the time! And I hope they know, now and when they're older, that the other mom (who sometimes overreacts or can't get out of bed to make a decent breakfast) is someone I wish wasn't real, too.