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jpb4815
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 07:06 AM
  #1
Well, I have some resolution. After a painful year of struggles with my wife we have decided to have a trail separation, she is going to leave and go stay somewhere else, no contact with the kids for two weeks while she settles in and clears her head. Then we will share custody, we hammered out the details in marriage counseling yesterday, and there are rules. We are not supposed to see other people, nor are we to just detach and ignore the issue. It is meant to be a time of introspection.

We will see how it goes, I was shocked to see her start to cry when we decided to do this. She stated that she is afraid that I wont take her back. She also stated that she is close to a breakdown and really needs the alone time. I don't know how I feel, I kind of don't feel. I am pretty numb, and what sucks is that this whole ordeal has affected my titration off of my Klonopin, I am back up to 2mg a day to keep the anxiety at bay. I need to keep things together now so that I can support my children. Adulting is hard.

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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 07:28 AM
  #2
The emotion she showed is a good sign, it seems. That says to me that she doesn't simply want to abandon the family.

I hope this is all she needs to come back around.

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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 08:31 AM
  #3
Hugs jpb!! I truly hope the best for your family

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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 09:00 AM
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Many hugs for you. This is tough, but things will work out. I hope both you and your wife are getting the help you need.
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 09:09 AM
  #5
You seem to be doing all that you can by attending marriage counselling. It's very responsible of you. Hopefully it will work out for the best. Probably not the best time for a withdrawal from a benzo. Plenty of time for that once things settle.
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 10:05 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by jpb4815 View Post
Well, I have some resolution. After a painful year of struggles with my wife we have decided to have a trail separation, she is going to leave and go stay somewhere else, no contact with the kids for two weeks while she settles in and clears her head. Then we will share custody, we hammered out the details in marriage counseling yesterday, and there are rules. We are not supposed to see other people, nor are we to just detach and ignore the issue. It is meant to be a time of introspection.

We will see how it goes, I was shocked to see her start to cry when we decided to do this. She stated that she is afraid that I wont take her back. She also stated that she is close to a breakdown and really needs the alone time. I don't know how I feel, I kind of don't feel. I am pretty numb, and what sucks is that this whole ordeal has affected my titration off of my Klonopin, I am back up to 2mg a day to keep the anxiety at bay. I need to keep things together now so that I can support my children. Adulting is hard.
Call me a pessimist but based on the past behaviors ... she may be doing a pity play. For the family car. The house. When you divorce. Whatever. I may be wrong. But that's immediately what I thought. Manipulation.

Sounds like she may be busy. No contact with the kids.

I am not trying to be a downer. Just tell me if I'm being unhelpful.

Good idea to stick with the Klonopin.
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 10:11 AM
  #7
Document you'll have the kids for two whole weeks alone. That directly counters her assertion on custody.

Here for you anytime.
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 11:19 AM
  #8
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Call me a pessimist but based on the past behaviors ... she may be doing a pity play. For the family car. The house. When you divorce. Whatever. I may be wrong. But that's immediately what I thought. Manipulation.

Sounds like she may be busy. No contact with the kids.

I am not trying to be a downer. Just tell me if I'm being unhelpful.

Good idea to stick with the Klonopin.
I am not sure what her ultimate motive is. I know that she is going through something that I cannot help her with. All in all I feel like this is going to be helpful one way or another. She did express tearfully that she is afraid that I am going to try to take the kids from her.

As far as a divorce and the division of assets goes that will be a mess no matter how you slice it. She is adamant that whatever happens the kids stay with the house, regardless of if I get it or she does. I am cautious in this, and have spoken to an attorney. I also have not forgotten how abusive she has been.

I appreciate your continued support Rainy Whatever happens I am doing my best not to let this derail me.

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BP1
OCD
General Anxiety Disorder

Meds:
Clonazapam 1mg 2x daily
Lamictal 50mg
zyprexa 5mg
Prazosin 3mg for night terrors
Best of all I am off of the opiate replacements finally, no more methadone

Almost Famous:
William:
"Penny I need to get this interview and go home"
Penny Lane : "Poof! you are home."
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 11:20 AM
  #9
I feel like we're in similar situations, jpb4815.

After my sui attempt my husband wanted a separation. He has our daughter right now. I get to see her once a month. They live five hours away.

It's hard.

Hugs.

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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 03:53 PM
  #10
It is hard. It was easier when I was at work focused on tasks. Now I am home with my thoughts.

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__________________
BP1
OCD
General Anxiety Disorder

Meds:
Clonazapam 1mg 2x daily
Lamictal 50mg
zyprexa 5mg
Prazosin 3mg for night terrors
Best of all I am off of the opiate replacements finally, no more methadone

Almost Famous:
William:
"Penny I need to get this interview and go home"
Penny Lane : "Poof! you are home."
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Default Aug 25, 2016 at 06:39 PM
  #11
We are here for you. Some days will be harder than others as you are going through such a difficult and painful time, but please hang in there! Take care of yourself.
Wishing you the best.
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Default Aug 26, 2016 at 07:38 AM
  #12
I made it through the night, she did send me a manipulative text at one point but I did not respond.

__________________
BP1
OCD
General Anxiety Disorder

Meds:
Clonazapam 1mg 2x daily
Lamictal 50mg
zyprexa 5mg
Prazosin 3mg for night terrors
Best of all I am off of the opiate replacements finally, no more methadone

Almost Famous:
William:
"Penny I need to get this interview and go home"
Penny Lane : "Poof! you are home."
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Default Aug 26, 2016 at 07:41 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by jpb4815 View Post
I made it through the night, she did send me a manipulative text at one point but I did not respond.
I'm glad you got through the night ok despite the texts. You are stronger than you realize and we are here for you. PM me anytime.
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Default Aug 26, 2016 at 03:27 PM
  #14
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Originally Posted by rainyday107 View Post
Call me a pessimist but based on the past behaviors ... she may be doing a pity play. For the family car. The house. When you divorce. Whatever. I may be wrong. But that's immediately what I thought. Manipulation.

Sounds like she may be busy. No contact with the kids.

I am not trying to be a downer. Just tell me if I'm being unhelpful.

Good idea to stick with the Klonopin.


I have to agree with this. Sorry to say. But before it gets to that point, take time and nurture yourself. Spend time thinking about what you'd like for yourself in the future. And what's healthy for YOU. As you know I'm in some crap too and it's definitely enough to derail me.

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Default Aug 26, 2016 at 03:46 PM
  #15
She is coming over tomorrow for my sons birthday party. Hoping like h€!! I can be civil. I didn't realize how hurt and angry I am. I thought I was just numb.

__________________
BP1
OCD
General Anxiety Disorder

Meds:
Clonazapam 1mg 2x daily
Lamictal 50mg
zyprexa 5mg
Prazosin 3mg for night terrors
Best of all I am off of the opiate replacements finally, no more methadone

Almost Famous:
William:
"Penny I need to get this interview and go home"
Penny Lane : "Poof! you are home."
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