[CuriouslyCrazy]

For tldr, jump to the last paragraph because I'm sure that I rambled.

I'm feeling both great and insane! Is that even possible?!?

Like my mood is great or at least it is until I randomly start laughing and crying at the same time. I intern at a hospital and I'm certain my program director thinks I lost it today. We started phlebotomy and I was crazy excited because OMG I get to stick people and see their blood! I was laughing, being a know-it-all and just making a joke out of life until I finally got a patient. Before I even enter the room, I start to panic because OMG I'm putting a NEEDLE into someone's arm and what if there's something in that needle and now I'm helping the government control that person and I can't do this and I'm suddenly crying. But like wtf? Everyone's asking me what's wrong and I just excuse myself to the bathroom, close the door, and start dying of laughter because what the ****. So my eyes are tearing, I'm laughing, and I want to strangle myself for the ****ing spectacle I just caused.

And then there's the feeling of actually being able to feel the world moving under your feet. Which is absolutely terrifying and makes you dizzy. Like I love it when the world is crazy, bright, but dude, it's like beyond 3D and its like the world is popping out things in front of me. In my face. And then I was in the lunch room and everyone was talking and it was so ****ing loud and fast and everyone was staring at me and I want to rip my brain out because it was trying to out talk everyone around me. I literally feel like I'm experiencing life and sensory overload and it's making me ****ing insane. If that's even possible.

So of course I try to do the logical thing for a change and call my pdoc before I totally ****ing lose it, but I can't get a hold of him! And I currently don't have a T. So I absolutely don't know what to do because I'm ready to tear myself to shreds while laughing and crying. I don't even know what's going on with me anymore. Should I play around with my Lamictal dose? Increase it by 50 or 100mg? I don't even know. And I don't have a prn. The only other med I have is trazodone. What do I do? I've never felt so insanely out of control

I would keep trying to get a hold of your pdoc.

[Victoria'smom]

Keep try to get a hold of pdoc. Take a hot shower and try to relax.

[wildflowerchild25]

Don't mess with lamictal. It has to be titrated slowly and cannot be used as a prn. I would take your trazadone and try to sleep. And keep bothering your pdoc! Keep calling and leaving messages.